Reading the Harry Potter Books: Book One
by AsianTwinkiesFTW
Summary: Abandoned until further notice
1. The Boy Who Lived

**I was inspired by 14hp1 , who'd let me follow in her footsteps. THANK YOU~  
**** *superflyingtackleglomp* **

**Dedication: To – my friends, family, 14hp1, my brain, and YOU! :3**

**DISCLAIMER: I AM ONLY GOING TO DO THIS ONCE. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER™. ALL HARRY POTTER BOOKS BELONG STRICTLY TO J.K. ROWLING [my herione~ :3]. HA! Take THAT society! YOU CAN'T SUE ME NO MORE! *cackle***

*

The Marauders (James – Prongs, Sirius – Padfoot, Remus – Moony, Peter – Wormtail) and Lily were sitting in the Head Boy/Girl's dormitories, enjoying a peaceful Saturday. Lily was studying (of course) for the History of Magic exam coming up on Tuesday, so her face was buried in a book. James and Sirius were playing Wizard's Chess (they were at a stalemate) while Remus did the _Daily Prophet_'s crossword. Peter was staring at the Quidditch Pitch – possibly dreaming of a crowd roaring his name.

Sirius broke the silence with a, "Dammit! I can't believe I lost again!"

"Sirius! Language!" shouted Lily, brandishing her wand threateningly.

_Thump. Thump. Th-th-th-thump. Thump._

The silence that followed was deafening.

"Um, what was that?" asked Peter, getting off of the window ledge.

"I have no idea," Replied Remus calmly.

"Well then, let's go find out!" said James enthusiastically.

Sirius and Lily nodded, and they went into James' room – full of gold and red, Gryffindor colors – where the sound had come from.

On top of James' bed – once again, red and gold – were seven books. Lily picked up the smallest one, the one closest to her, and read: _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_

"Harry Potter? Potter? James, I thought you were an only child!" exclaimed Sirius, as he peeked over Lily's shoulder.

"I am," said James, utterly confused.

Remus plucked the book from Lily's fingers and read the publication date on the book. His eyes widened slightly. "Impossible… It's not possible… _could_ it be possible?"

"What's wrong, Moony, ol' pal?" asked James, looking at him curiously.

"It's… this… but…" stuttered Moony, unable to believe his eyes. Sirius took the book from Remus, and looked at the publication date.

"Bloody hell!" shouted Sirius, and Lily smacked him. "Ouch! Look at this, Lily! It's from the future!"

"As if I'd believe _that_." Said Lily, and she took back the book. She stared. And stared, and stared. "Published… 1998…"

"This's got to be a prank. I mean pur-_lease_. A book from the _future_? With my last name 'coincidentally' on it?" said James, stubbornly refusing to believe it.

"Well… here's a note attached to it." Said Peter speaking up.

Lily ripped it off and read aloud:

"_To Lily Evans and James Potter – in the Head Girl/Boy's dormitories_

_Hello, Lily, James, you do not know me, but I know you. I have never met you before in my life, but I promise this is not a prank. Yes, James. I know. You don't believe. But with magic, anything is possible. So, I asked my witch friend (whose name I will not write down – just in case ;3) to teleport these back in time using the same basic principle as a Time-Turner._

_You must be thinking, "Why should we believe you?" Well, contained in these books is the epic story of Harry Potter, who you will immediately adore. I can't tell you why, that would ruin it._

_Hm… How should I convince you that this isn't a fake? Well, for one thing, I know that you are the Marauders,"_ a gasp from Lily and wide eyes from the Marauders_ "I know that James has an Invisibility Cloak," _another gasp_ "I know that you are Animagi (stag, dog, and rat. Moony's a werewolf. I SUPPORT YOU REMUS! ____ ) and that Lily used to DETEST your very PRESENCE… and she and Snivellus (yes, I know you call him that) used to be friends. Petunia is jealous of you too._

_So. Believe me now?_

_A friend from the future… but no-one you'll ever know. (you can call me by my nickname… Chikaru)"_

They all looked at each other. It seemed that this really wasn't a prank. They had never told anyone about any of these things, so…

"I propose we read the books." Said Sirius.

*

The Marauders and Lily sat around the fire, staring at the first book.

"So… let's begin." Said Lily, snuggling next to her boyfriend: James.

Lily opened up the book and began to read.

**CHAPTER ONE **

**THE BOY WHO LIVED **

"Wonder who that is?" said Sirius.

"Well, if you'd _let_ me read." Glared Lily.

Sirius snapped his mouth shut and looked anywhere but at Lily.

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. **

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. **

"What a _LOVELY_ description." Said James sarcastically.

**Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere. **

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, **

"_I_ have a sister who's engaged to a Dursely..." said Lily, and James gave a loud whoop.

"HA! I KNEW IT!" and he kissed her on the lips. Lily smiled in amusement after they'd broke apart.

**but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that. **

"I have a son?" said James and Lily simultaneously.

"I wonder what he looks like," said Sirius.

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window. **

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. **

"Nice little boy, isn't he?" said Remus, one eyebrow raised.

"**Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive. **

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar — a cat reading a map. For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen — then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive — no, **_**looking **_**at the sign; cats couldn't read maps **_**or **_**signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day. **

"Isn't Minnie a cat Animagus?" said Peter.

"You think it could be her?" asked James.

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes — the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt —these people were obviously collecting for something…yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills. **

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning. **_**He **_**didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery. **

"Ugh, he's _terrible_! How could Petunia fancy _him_?" said a disgusted Lily.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying. **

"**The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard —" **

"— **yes, their son, Harry —" **

"Hey, that's us!" exclaimed James. "We've got a son named Harry!"

Lily smiled, she couldn't wait to hear about her baby.

"But why are they talking about you? Aren't they Muggles?" asked Remus, and James grew silent, wondering.

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it. **

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking…no, he was being stupid. Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew **_**was **_**called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold. There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her — if **_**he'd **_**had a sister like that…but all the same, those people in cloaks… **

"You horrible man!" shouted Lily, fuming that this man had given so little thought to _her_ little boy.

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door. **

"**Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!" **

"Voldemort's gone?" whispered an astonished Sirius.

"I… I guess so…" said an equally astonished Remus.

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off. **

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination. **

"What kind of person doesn't approve of imagination?" exclaimed an irritated Lily.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw—and it didn't improve his mood — was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes. **

"It's McGonagall all right," said James.

"**Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly. **

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look. Was this normal cat behavior? Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife. **

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!"). Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news: **

"_**And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?" **_

"_**Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early — it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight." **_

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters… **

"WHAT IS IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!" shouted Sirius.

**Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er — Petunia, dear — you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?" **

**As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister. **

Lily looked highly offended.

"**No," she said sharply. "Why?" **

"**Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls…shooting stars…and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…" **

"_**So?**_**" snapped Mrs. Dursley. **

"**Well, I just thought…maybe…it was something to do with…you know…**_**her **_**crowd." **

"_Her_ crowd?!" raged James which were followed by exclamations of outrage from the others (minus Lily).

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son — he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?" **

"**I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly. **

"**What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?" **

"**Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me." **

"HOW _DARE_ YOU INSULT MY SON, YOU _BITCH_!" screamed Lily, and everyone – even though they were shocked at her cursing – edged slightly away from her. After all, she _was_ famous for her temper.

"**Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree." **

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something. **

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did…if it got out that they were related to a pair of — well, he didn't think he could bear it. **

**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters **_**were **_**involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind…He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on — he yawned and turned over — it couldn't affect **_**them**_**… **

**How very wrong he was. **

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all. **

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed. **

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice.**

"Dumbledore!" they all said, smiling.

**This man's name was Albus Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known." **

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. He clicked it again — the next lamp flickered into darkness. **

"A Deluminator." Said Remus.

**Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it. **

"**Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall." **

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled. **

"**How did you know it was me?" she asked. **

"**My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly." **

"**You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall. **

"**All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here." **

"Mmm… feasts…" said Sirius.

"Oh, you're _hopeless_," said Lily with an amused smile.

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily. **

"**Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no — even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls…shooting stars…Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent — I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense." **

"I know, Dedalus. Nice chap, he is. Kind of energetic though." Peter thought aloud.

"**You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years." **

"**I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors." **

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really **_**has **_**gone, Dumbledore?" **

"**It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?" **

"**A **_**what**_**?" **

"**A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of." **

"**No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know-Who **_**has **_**gone —" **

"**My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense — for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: **_**Voldemort**_**." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name." **

"**I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, **_**Voldemort**_**, was frightened of." **

"**You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have." **

"**Only because you're too — well —**_**noble **_**to use them." **

"**It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs." **

Lily giggled as the Marauders all gave a hearty laugh at this.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said "The owls are nothing next to the **_**rumors **_**that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?" **

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer. **

"**What they're **_**saying**_**," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are — are — that they're — **_**dead**_**." **

Lily and James stiffened, and the others stared at them in horror.

"We… died?" whispered a horrified Lily.

"Impossible! James can't… but… how…" stuttered Sirius, at a loss for words.

"I can't believe it. I _won't_ believe it." Said Remus firmly.

James put a comforting arm around Lily, and took the book from her – she was in shock – and began to read once more.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped. **

"**Lily and James…I can't believe it…I didn't want to believe it…Oh, Albus…" **

"At least we know Minnie cared…" said Lily softly.

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know…I know…" he said heavily. **

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke — and that's why he's gone." **

"Hey look! Harry's killed the greatest wizard in the world!" said Sirius with forced cheerfulness.

Lily gave a watery smile, and even Jame's mouth quirked up.

**Dumbledore nodded glumly. **

"**It's — it's **_**true**_**?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done…all the people he's killed…he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding…of all the things to stop him…but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?" **

"Yeah, that's what I want to know." Said Peter.

"**We can only guess." said Dumbledore. "We may never know." **

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. **

**Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?" **

"**Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me **_**why **_**you're here, of all places?" **

"**I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now." **

"NO!" shouted everyone, and Sirius got to his feet.

"They can't make him go there! What happened to me and Remus and Peter? We could take care of him!" he shouted.

"I know… something's up," said Remus, deep in thought.

"**You don't mean – you **_**can't **_**mean the people who live **_**here**_**?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore — you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son — I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!" **

"I CONCUR!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Did you just say '_concur'_, Sirius?" asked a wide-eyed Remus.

"Yeah? I know big words too!" said Sirius.

"Uh-_huh_." Said Peter, his eyes glinting in mischief.

"Hmph!" Sirius pouted but said no more.

"**It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter." **

"**A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous — a legend — I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future — there will be books written about Harry — every child in our world will know his name!" **

"**Exactly." said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?" **

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes — yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it. **

"**Hagrid's bringing him." **

"_Hagrid's_ bringing Harry? Did I hear right?" said a flabbergasted Peter.

"Yeah… a good person, but a bit careless…" said a worried Lily.

"**You think it —**_**wise **_**— to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?" **

"**I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore. **

"**I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to — what was that?" **

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky — and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them. **

"MY MOTORBIKE!" shouted Sirius.

"SIRIUS! _ONE_ MORE OUTBURST AND I WILL HEX YOU TO THE _STATES_!" bellowed James.

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so **_**wild **_**— long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets. **

"**Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?" **

"**Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir." **

"**No problems, were there?" **

"**No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol." Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning. **

Lily smiled affectionately as she imagined her baby boy. "He must be so cute…" She wished she could see him…

A parchment appeared out of nowhere and began writing on itself.

'_I will be able to talk to you on this'_ it said, and continued, _'if you want to see Harry in the story, go to the Come-and-Go Room.'_

"Let's go right after this!" said an excited James. He couldn't wait to see his son.

"**Is that where —?" whispered Professor McGonagall. **

"**Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever." **

"**Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?" **

"**Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well — give him here, Hagrid — we'd better get this over with." **

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house. **

"**Could I — could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog. **

"**Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "You'll wake the Muggles!" **

"**S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it —Lily an' James dead — an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles —" **

Lily and James frowned.

"**Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out. **

"I wish we could have taken Harry…" muttered Remus.

"**Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations." **

"**Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I best get this bike away. G'night, Professor McGonagall — Professor Dumbledore, sir." **

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night. **

"**I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply. Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four. **

"**Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone. **

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley…He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter — the boy who lived!"**

"That's the end of the chapter…" said James.

They were all silent; everything they heard had finally sunk in.

Lily broke down crying, and James's eyes were also unnaturally bright.

"W-Well…" said Sirius, who was hastily trying to wipe his eyes with his sleeve. "We-We should… well... let's go to the Room of Requirement… you know… to see Harry…"

"Y-Yeah…" sniffed Peter.

They all stood up – carrying the other books with them of course – and walked quickly to the Room of Requirement, stopping at every small sound (after all, it was after hours, and Filch was determined to pin James and Sirius in a detention.).

*

**WHOO! CHAP ONE FINSHED! :P**

**Reviews are loved and rewarded with superflyingtackleglomps.**

**Flames are thrown away and punished with a smack in the face.**

**Constructive criticism is A-Ok. :3**

_**chikaru**_


	2. The Vanishing Glass

'**Tis Chapter DEUS~ :3**

**Disclaimer's in the first chapter. - -;;**

**alicat259:** Thank you so much! :3 *glomp*

**jinnabun: **More dialogue, eh? WELL I HOPE THIS CHAPTER SATISFIES YOU! :3 *tackleglomp*

**14hp1:** YES! WE MUST SUPPORT THE WEREWOLVES (Well… the ones that are good… - -;;)!! And yes. Sirius's use of big words amused me as well… *strokes non-existant mustache* xD *superflyingtackleglomp*

**THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS! THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO MY FIRST THREE REVIEWERS:**

**alicat259, jinnabun, and the awesome 14hp1 ! :3**

**ENJOY~**

*

The Marauders and Lily paused in front of the Room of Requirement, staring at it.

"Let's go in." said James.

A door opened – black metal with engravings all over it – and they all went inside. It was exactly what they needed at the time. A safe, cozy place to read, even if those books were from the future…

Lily and James sat down on the couch; Sirius and Remus sat down in comfy armchairs; Peter sat down on the floor, leaning on the foot of another armchair.

"So." Said Lily, unsure. "D-Do we try out what… um… 'chikaru' tells us?"

James crossed him arms and furrowed his brows, deep in thought. "Well… it couldn't hurt to try… but let's keep our wands out, just in case."

"Right. Now. How do we get Harry… here?" asked Sirius, pointing at the ground.

"Hmm… yes, that _would_ be a problem…" mused Remus.

The parchment glowed gold – James shouted "GRYFFINDOR COLORS, YES!" – and on it wrote:

'_It's the freaking Room of __Requirement__! __**Require**__ your son to appear! Yeesh!' _

Everyone smacked their foreheads. How could they have forgotten?

"We require for Harry Potter to appear before us," they all said simultaneously.

Suddenly a voice – one that was neither male nor female, young nor old – whispered into their ears, _**"Are you sure you wish to bring him? He of the future? One who does not yet exist into this time?"**_

"Yes," they answered, totally sure of their decision.

"… _**Your wish is my command."**_

The Room trembled, a flash – it was bright white with sparks of blue to James's disappointment – and there, in the middle of them all, was a small bundle wrapped in a blue blanket and sleeping.

"Bloody hell. It worked!" said Sirius, staring at the blue bundle.

"So…" began Peter.

Lily hesitantly got up from the couch and made for the bundle. She knelt next to it, and with shaky hands uncovered the baby boy inside.

"Wow, James. He looks just like you!" said Remus as he too knelt beside the baby Harry.

The parchment glowed gold once more, and this time James picked it up after glancing at his son.

'_Remember, you cannot keep him here forever. That would rip the fabric of time, and the world would be plunged into chaos – exactly what Voldemort wants. The most you can keep baby Harry here is approximately five days. After that, the Room will ask you to return him to his time. If you refuse… the books will all disappear, and Harry will cease to exist. Remember what I've told you…'_

"We'll remember." Said Peter.

Lily picked up Harry and sat back down onto the couch (Remus went back to his armchair), wonder and amazement in her face. Harry shifted in his cozy blanket and opened his eyes.

"Mama?" said Harry, reaching out his small hands towards Lily's face.

Sirius cleared his throat and picked up _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ again.

"Whaddya say we read the second chapter?"

James snapped his head up from staring at his carbon-copy. "Huh? Oh… yeah… sure…" and he promptly went back to staring at his future son.

"Haha… Pa'foo'? Uncie Pa'foo'?" giggled Harry, finally noticing Sirius.

Sirius's eyes bugged. "Wha – how – who – WHAA?!"

Remus said grinning, "I think little Harry here wants his 'Uncie Pa'foo'."

Sirius sent him a sour look, which Remus returned with an even wider grin. Peter started to laugh uncontrollably, and Sirius muttered, "Let's just read the second chapter already…"

"Chap'er! Chap'er!" squealed Harry.

Lily smiled and tickled Harry's stomach, earning happy squeals of laughter.

**CHAPTER TWO **

**THE VANISHING GLASS **

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets — but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too. **

The Marauders and Lily all gave shouts of outrage at this indignity.

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day. **

"**Up! Get up! Now!" **

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again. **

"**Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before. **

"Hey! My motorbike!" grinned Sirius.

"Yes, Sirius, your motorbike. Now shut up and read." Said Remus, rolling his eyes.

**His aunt was back outside the door. **

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded. **

"**Nearly," said Harry. **

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday." **

They all gaped at the book.

"She – that – THAT BITCH MAKES _MY_ SON COOK FOR _HER_ BLOODY FAMILY?!" screeched Lily, in a terrifying rage.

Harry started to cry, and Lily immediately started to rock him in her arms.

"Motherly instincts: you never mess with 'em." Said James.

Lily shot him an amused glare.

**Harry groaned. **

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door. **

"**Nothing, nothing…" **

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten? Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on. Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept. **

"Under… the… _CUPBOARD_?" said James, his voice dangerously quiet.

"I WILL _NOT_ STAND FOR THIS! I AM GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE 'TALK' WITH MY SISTER!" said Lily, her eyes glinting in rage. Harry sniffled, eyes wide, and Lily kissed him on the forehead.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter silently seethed in fury, Remus gripping the arms of his armchair so hard they started to crack.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike. Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise — unless of course it involved punching somebody. Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry, but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast. **

The armchair had finally splintered, and everyone looked at Remus in surprise, but he only glared at the carpet, and Peter could _swear_ that it was trembling.

Lily was silent, not wanting Harry to get upset, but inside, she was mentally killing and RE-killing the human beach-ball of a bastard named Dudley. James was doing the same as she, but was clenching and unclenching his fist.

"Did… did I read that right?" whispered Sirius, eyes narrowing dangerously. He'd have to pay a 'visit' to the Dursleys.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose. **

Remus had to leave the room, and another room had appeared. Sounds of things breaking were heard from inside. Sirius calmly stood up, walked over to Peter, handed him the book, and joined Remus inside the room. Now there were sounds of things breaking _and_ swearing.

Lily and James had that calm, composed look you always got right when you were on the verge of cracking.

Peter was gripping part of the thick carpet in one hand, and stared at it in surprise when it had finally ripped. Shaking his head, he continued to read.

**The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning. He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it. **

"You know, they never really said _how_ he got that scar… they only hinted at it." Mused Peter.

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And don't ask questions." **

_**Don't ask questions **_**— that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys. **

"He can't even ask _questions_?" said James, his eye twitching.

Lily stared at Harry's happy and innocent face as his small fist gripped a strand of her red hair. _He must have had a terrible childhood… _A stray tear trailed down her cheek, landing on Harry's blue blanket.

**Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon. **

"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting. **

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut. Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place. **

Lily glanced at James in amusement, and so did the others (Sirius and Remus had just entered the room).

"What?" he said, all innocence.

"He's inherited your hair," said Remus, trying not to laugh.

"The poor, poor child," said Sirius, equally struggling not to laugh.

Peter stuffed his fist into his mouth while grinning, and handed the book back to Sirius.

James scoffed, but a small smile graced his face. "Well duh, he's a Potter."

Lily gave him another amused smile, and went back to playing with Harry.

Sirius continued to read.

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig. **

Lily snickered behind her hand, eyes watering in laughter as the Marauders roared in laughter. Harry clapped his hands joyfully and said, "Peeg-in-a-weeg! Peeg-in-a-weeg!" which sent everyone else into a fresh round of laughter; Even Lily didn't bother holding it in.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell. **

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year." **

"Spoiled brat." Said James distastefully.

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy." **

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over. **

Everyone narrowed their eyes dangerously at the book.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another **_**two **_**presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? **_**Two **_**more presents. Is that all right?" **

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty…thirty…" **

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia. **

"Not to mention he's a complete IDIOT." Said Remus, crossing his arms.

"**Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then." **

**Uncle Vernon chuckled. **

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair. **

Everyone's eye twitched (minus baby Harry of course).

**At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction. **

Lily gave her most venomous glare at the book, and everyone (minus Harry… again) cringed.

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned. **

"They did WHAT?!" growled James, and Lily patted his shoulder comfortingly. Harry giggled saying, "Did what! Did what!"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter gave amused glances to baby Harry, and Sirius continued reading.

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again. **

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested. **

"**Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy." **

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug. **

The Marauders made strangled noises in their throats, as words failed to describe what they felt. Lily on the other hand, was looking ready to _KILL_ something.

"**What about what's-her-name, your friend — Yvonne?" **

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia. **

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer). **

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon. **

"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled. **

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening. **

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "…and leave him in the car…" **

"Leave him in the _CAR_?" hissed Remus.

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…" **

**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying — it had been years since he'd really cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted. **

"**Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him. **

"**I…don't…want…him…t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms. **

"Dudwey is mean to Hawwy, mama. Make him go away." Said Harry with big green eyes.

"I will never let him hurt you, Harry." Whispered Lily into Harry's ear.

**Just then, the doorbell rang — "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once. **

"Ugh." Said Sirius, pausing look distatefully at Dudley's behavior.

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. **

"First… time… in… his… _life_… to… the… zoo…?" growled Remus.

Lily and James growled like feral dogs. Harry cowered. Lily immediately turned her complete attention to making Harry happy again.

Harry started to giggle cutely when his mother started to tickle him with a vengeance.

**His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside. **

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, anything at all — and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas." **

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…" **

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did. **

"I'm – he – but – going – kill – that man – _ARGH_!" said James, frustrated with being unable to help his son.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen. **

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. **

"BUT IT'S _NOT_ HIS FAULT!" roared James, furious, followed quickly by Sirius's shouts of outrage and Remus breaking something. Lily was playing with Harry so she couldn't do anything to show her complete and utter FURY at the Dursleys.

**Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off. He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he **_**couldn't **_**explain how it had grown back so quickly. **

"He'd know what was happening to him if _we_ were there…" said Lily sadly. She knew that children had occasional bursts of magical power that were completely out of their control, and she made a promise to herself. She would make sure that Harry's short time with them was the best time, and to take many pictures of his happy time so he could look back at them.

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls). The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry. Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished. **

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens. Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney. The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump. **

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room. **

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles. **

"Ooh, let me guess. His favorite subject to complain about is… HARRY." Said an extremely irritated Sirius.

"…**roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them. **

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying." **

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" **

"Mine does." Said Sirius, smirking.

**Dudley and Piers sniggered. **

"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream." **

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon — they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas. **

James started muttering under his breath about "showing the Dursley's '_dangerous_'" and "Harry was too nice a kid to do those kinds of things".

Peter said he was tired and he wanted to go to sleep (his eyes had begun to droop halfway through the chapter), so he opened a door to the Gryffindor dormitories, and left the Room of Requirement yawning.

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop. It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond. **

"THEY WOULDN'T EVEN BUY HIM ICE CREAM?!" shouted the three remaining Marauders, outraged.

Harry's lower lip quivered and Lily glared at the book, furious at the Dursleys for making them shout, and in turn upset her baby boy.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him. They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first. **

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last. **

"Oh no, what happened?" said Lily, afraid for her baby.

"I'm sure it's nothing terrible." Said Remus, but he too, was worried.

**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can — but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep. **

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils. **

"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge. **

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on. **

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away. **

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house. **

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's. **

_**It winked. **_

"Wait, what?" said James.

Sirius re-read the sentence, and they all looked at each other, blinking.

"You sure you read that right?" asked Remus.

Sirius gave him a sour look that clearly said: _'Ask me one more time, I dare yah'_.

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too. **

**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly: **

"_**I get that all the time." **_

They all glanced at each other, they had a sneaking suspicion, but they didn't voice it.

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying." **

**The snake nodded vigorously. **

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked. **

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it. **

**Boa Constrictor, Brazil. **

"**Was it nice there?" **

**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see — so you've never been to Brazil?" **

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!" **

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could. **

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

"HE DID _WHAT_ TO MY LITTLE BOY?!" screamed a hysterical Lily, clutching Harry to her chest as if to ward off all danger.

"Calm down, Lily." Said James, even though he himself was grabbing the arm of the couch so hard his knuckles were white.

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits. **

**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, **_**"Brazil, here I come…Thanksss, amigo." **_

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock. **

"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?" **

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?" **

"He can't be… can he?" whispered Remus, staring at baby Harry in wonder.

"No. He is NOT a Parseltongue. He _CAN'T_ be. He's a Potter!" said James, stubbornly refusing to believe it.

The parchment glowed, and this time Remus read out loud what it said:

'_Um… yeah… see… about that… erm… well… you'll find out in the second book…'_

They all looked at each other, and they all thought: _Little Harry? A_ Parseltongue_? It can't be… could it?_

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy. **

"No… meals…?" said Sirius, glaring at the book.

Remus thought he saw the book tremble in fear, but shook his head. He was probably seeing things…

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food. **

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died. Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house. **

The group fell into a solemn silence, and Lily started to play with Harry's hair, looking sadly down into the green eyes that were so similar to her own.

"Mama?" said Harry, wondering why his mum was so sad. "Why you is not smiwing?"

He grabbed her cheeks and pulled them up. "Mama be happy, yes?"

They all looked at him and smiled a little.

"Okay, honey. Mama be happy." Said Lily, smiling.

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family. Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look. **

Everyone grinned at the behavior of the wizards, and thought it must be quite weird for a boy who was so ignored – their smiles faded a little – at home to be suddenly recognized everywhere he went.

"Yay! Evewywun's happy!" squealed Harry, and he opened his arms to James, saying, "Up! Up!"

James took Harry from Lily and placed him on his lap, grinning again at how completely identical – except for the eyes of course – they looked.

**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

Their eyes all twitched at this, and decided to spoil Harry so much he'd smile all the time.

"No son of mine get's such treatment from _them_!" said Lily fiercely, eyes glinting dangerously.

"EXACTLY! COMMENCE MISSION:_ MAKE-SURE-HARRY-IS-HAPPY-THE-ENTIRE-TIME-HE-IS-HERE_!" said Sirius enthusiastically, puffing out his chest.

Remus took Harry quickly from James as James and Sirius high-fived.

Harry squealed in happiness when Remus tossed him up into the air and caught him.

"Up! Up!"

*

**YAY! CHAPTER NUMBER 2 IS FINISHED~ :3**

**Baby Harry is so~ CUTE! *huggles baby Harry***

**Lily: Give me back my child! *glare***

**chikaru: Y-Yes ma'am... *gives baby Harry back to her quickly***

**James/Remus/Sirius: *snicker***

**chikaru: *eye twitch***

**REVIEW PLEASE AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH A THIRD CHAPTER! :3**

***GLOMPS***

**Chikaru, OUT!**


	3. Letters From No One

**CHAPTER TROIS! :3**

**Thank you for all of your reviews! x3**

**the last place you look:** Yes, I am going to attempt to do all of the Harry Potter books. :D (And this is actually just a different version of the whole 'people from the past read the HP books' plot. :D)

**alicat259:** I'm going to do ALL the chapters from EVERY book… (well… I'll try to al least… - -;;) Yes, Lily giving you 'The Glare' is extremely scary… I wanted to run away, but then who would write this fic? ;3 And to glomp is like an extremely enthusiastic tackle/hug. :3

**14hp1:** I know! He is, isn't he? *grin* And yes, I too felt sad for those inanimate objects… *pats the 1st Hp book consolingly*

**Technophobia678:** Thank you! :D

***superflyingtackleglomps everyone who reviewed***

**Disclaimer's in the first chappie, dammit. *rolls eyes***

**I'm so, SO sorry for not updating! D:**

**  
It's just that I have so much homework (it being the last semester…) and projects, and I never really had the time to finish this chapter. D:**

**PLEASE Enjoy~ :3**

*

Baby Harry stared at Remus.

Remus stared at baby Harry.

They both stared at each other.

Remus blinked.

"YAY! HAWWY WON AGAIN!" squealed baby Harry.

"Haha, Remus. You lost to a baby." Laughed Sirius.

Remus pouted. "You try staring down a baby. It's really difficult."

Sirius snorted and began a staring contest with baby Harry.

Sirius lost thirty seconds into the game.

"GAH! DARN HIS INSUFFERABLE CUTENESS!" protested Sirius, grinning.

Lily – straight face and all – said, "You can't resist the baby eyes. They're invincible."

The Marauders stared at Lily. Lily stared back. The Marauders blinked.

"HA! GREEN EYES PREVAIL ONCE MORE!" shouted Lily, smug.

James pouted, "It's not fair. You guys have _the_ most awesome eyes ever."

Lily smiled smugly (A/N: SAY THAT FIVE TIMES FAST! xD) and replied, "He gets it from his mother."

The Marauders all glared at her half-heartedly, and she grinned all the wider.

Baby Harry grinned and said, "Gween eyes pwevail! Pwevail!"

Lily's mouth twitched. Then shook. Then she burst out into laughter.

The Marauders's eyes twitched, but they were grinning too.

After about 10 minutes of uncontrollable laughter, Remus said, "I guess it's my turn to read."

"But I want to read!" said Sirius.

"Sirius, you've read two chapters already, even though I was supposed to read after you, so be quiet," said an amused James.

Sirius pouted, but sat down, baby Harry in his lap.

"Let's get started." Said Lily, sitting down on the couch next to James.

**CHAPTER THREE **

**LETTERS FROM NO ONE **

"D'you think it could be from Hogwarts?" asked Lily.

"Probably," replied Remus, not even looking up from the book.

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches. **

"That little snot knocked over an old lady? And MY son was locked in a CUPBOARD until the summer holidays?" shouted James, face red in fury.

Harry looked at his father curiously. "Dada face red."

Sirius snorted, and patted Harry's black hair proudly.

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader. The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting. **

"I think I need to leave for a little bit," said James, getting up.

"No Dada leave. Dada stay?" asked baby Harry, his green eyes wide.

James made the mistake of looking at Harry. The invincible green eyes won him over.

"Fine. I'll stay," said James, sighing and giving a small smile.

"See what I mean? Invincible," said Lily, grinning. (She was inwardly fuming at Dudley and his gang)

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny. **

"**They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?" **

The Marauders and Lily made strangled noises in their throat, and Sirius had to hand Harry to James so he could silently mutter swears under his breath.

"**No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. **

"There's a Marauder in you yet!" said James, laughing and he tossed baby Harry in the air.

Lily, Sirius, and Remus were all laughing too hard to notice the glowing parchment.

'_Enjoy these moments while you can, it just gets harder from here…'_

"Dada, paper glow! Glow!" said little Harry, pointing to the parchment.

They read the message, their happiness forgotten.

"Well that sure killed the mood," said Sirius.

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years. **

Sirius wrinkled his nose. He knew by an unhappy experience _exactly_ what that tasted like.

**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life. **

"Ugh! What terrible people!" said Lily, stealing Harry from her husband and hugging him close.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh. **

Lily clapped her hands to her mouth, muffling what would have been uncontrollable laughter. The three Marauders on the other hand, clutched at their sides, laughing so hard they might split at the seams.

"Ickle Diddykins! Ickle Diddykins!" squealed Harry, making them laugh even more.

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water. **

"**What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question. **

"**Your new school uniform," she said.**

Their faces turned tight and pinched, trying to keep themselves from shouting and frightening Harry.

"NO! EVWYWUN NOT HAPPY!" pouted Harry.

Lily smiled and patted his hair. The Marauders grinned.

**Harry looked in the bowl again. **

"**Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet." **

"**Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished." **

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High — like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably. **

"So, he'd just look like he'd be wearing Dudley-skin… ew. You poor, poor kid," said Sirius, shaking his head.

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table. **

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. **

"**Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. **

"**Make Harry get it." **

"**Get the mail, Harry." **

"**Make Dudley get it." **

"**Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley." **

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and — **_**a letter for Harry**_**. **

**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives — he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake: **

Everyone (minus Harry) inwardly frowned (they didn't want to upset Harry) at this.

_**Mr. H. Potter **_

_**The Cupboard under the Stairs **_

_**4 Privet Drive **_

_**Little Whinging **_

_**Surrey **_

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp. **

**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter **_**H**_**. **

"YES! It's from Hogwarts!" shouted Sirius and James.

"'Ogworts! 'Ogworts!" said Harry.

"**Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke. **

The Marauders shook their heads. The Vermin (which they'd dubbed Vernon) couldn't even make a joke.

**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope. **

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard. **

"**Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…" **

"**A what?" asked Sirius, confused.**

**Everyone else shrugged, and Harry looked at them all with a cute confused frown on his small face.**

"**Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!" **

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon. **

"**That's **_**mine**_**!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back. **

"Great. Not only does he make Harry's life miserable, he steals him mail," growled James.

"**Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge. **

"**P-P-Petunia!" he gasped. **

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise. **

"**Vernon! Oh my goodness — Vernon!" **

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick. **

"**I want to read that letter," he said loudly. **

"Yeah? Well _I_ want to smack your head _so_ hard that – what?" asked Lily, as the other Marauders grinned at her.

"_**I **_**want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's **_**mine**_**." **

"**Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope. **

**Harry didn't move. **

"**I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted. **

"YEAH! YOU TELL 'IM HARRY!" shouted Sirius and James.

"Tell who what, Dada?" asked Harry.

Lily burst into hysterical laughter at the looks on Sirius and James's faces.

"**Let **_**me **_**see it!" demanded Dudley. **

"**OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole; Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor. **

"**Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address — how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?" **

"**Watching — spying — might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly. **

"**But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want —" **

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen. **

"**No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer…Yes, that's best…we won't do anything…" **

"**But —" **

"**I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?" **

"Stamp out… dangerous nonsense… teach _YOU_ dangerous…" muttered James.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard. **

"**He shouldn't have to visit Harry in a cupboard at **_**all**_**," growled Remus, pausing.**

"**Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?" **

"**No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. "I have burned it." **

"HE DID _WHAT_ TO HARRY'S LETTER?!" shouted them all.

Harry started to cry loudly. Why was everyone shouting? Had he done something wrong? Now Mama and Dada were going to lock him up in the cupboard again and leave him alone with the Dursleys.

There was a shocked silence while Harry wailed.

Lily hugged Harry tightly to her chest, her hair making a curtain over Harry's face, whispering comforting words to him. Remus coughed and began to read again.

"**It was **_**not **_**a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it." **

"**SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful. **

"**Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking…you're really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom. **

They all cheered at this, and Harry (now fully cheered up) said a small "Yay!" with them.

"**Why?" said Harry. **

"**Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now." **

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom. It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched. **

"Why can't Harry stay in the guest room?" protested Sirius, fuming.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't **_**want **_**him in there…I **_**need **_**that room…make him get out…" **

"_Need_ that room? What for you slimy git?" James growled.

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it. **

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back. Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly. **

"**Dudley is like Petunia and Vermin rolled up into one without any of their mature – well whatever mature sense they've got – things," said Lily, making a face.**

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —'" **

Lily started to laugh hysterically, and the three Marauders stared at her.

"What?" asked Remus.

"I remember my mum's face when a whole bunch of those letters came through the mail slot at home – it was _hysterical_," she said, snickering.

"Ah… I wish I'd seen that…" said James, grinning.

The long-forgotten parchment glowed, and it wrote:

'_*cough* Do I really need to say this again? YOU ARE IN THE FREAKING ROOM OF REQUIREMENT. WHATEVER YOU REQUIRE APPEARS, DAMMIT. *glare*'_

Everyone (once again) smacked their foreheads.

"Of course!" cried Remus.

Sirius thought hard, and suddenly, like a movie, a screen appeared in mid-air in the middle of them all.

_Countdown… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *BEEP!*_

Thock. Thock. Th-th-th-th-th-th-thock. Thock.

_An eleven-year-old Lily and Petunia stared at each other and then at their mum._

"_Mum, what was that?" asked Lily._

"_It must be the mail. Go get it, would you, 'Tuny?" asked her mother absently while flipping over eggs._

"_Alright, Mum." Said Petunia._

_Lily ate her eggs in silence, when suddenly Petunia's high-pitched laughter was heard._

"_MUM! LOOK, MUM!" cried Petunia, as she ran over to her mum with a fist-full of letters that all said:_

Lily Miriam Evans  
The Kitchen  
7 Privet Drive  
Little Whinging  
Surrey [1]

"_Wha – who – how-?!" was the intelligent response from Mrs. Evans, who shortly after passed out from shock._

The Marauders did not comment on her behavior… because they were laughing too hard.

Remus, composing himself after a while, cleared his throat (though his mouth was still twitching a little) and began to read again.

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind. After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand. **

"**Go to your cupboard — I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley — go — just go." **

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan. **

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights. **

**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first. His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door — **

"**AAAAARRRGH!" **

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat — something **_**alive**_**! **

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face. Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink. **

Remus paused, and blinked. Everyone else blinked. (Lily had required a crib to appear and had put a Muffliato spell on it so Baby Harry would not wake) They looked at each other. They grinned.

They ROFL-d.

"**I want —" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes. **

Sirius shouted some curse words that Lily would have hexed him into oblivion for if she wasn't currently destroying an unsuspecting pillow. James and Remus were calm… well as calm as you could be when you were crushing your armrests into dust.

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot. **

"**See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't **_**deliver **_**them they'll just give up." **

"**I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon." **

"**Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him. **

Everyone's eyes started to twitch.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom. **

Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus were acting like sensible people… while rolling on the floor laughing their asses off.

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises. **

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor. **

James and Sirius had tear streaming down their eyes as they laughed harder than ever, and Lily was slumped against the couch laughing like crazy as Remus grinned like the Cheshire Cat[2].

"**Who on earth wants to talk to **_**you **_**this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement. **

They abruptly stopped laughing, and went back to cursing the very name of the Dursleys.

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy. **

"**No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —" **

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one — **

"GO! GO! GO! GO HARRY!" cheered Sirius and James.

"You can do it!" joined in Lily.

"**Out! OUT!" **

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall. **

"HE DID _WHAT_?!" screeched Lily, eyes blazing.

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor. **

"**That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. "I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!" **

"I don't think that's going to work…" muttered Lily.

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing **

They all laughed, grabbing onto something to keep from falling onto the floor.

**that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag. **

"Spoiled git," muttered Sirius.

**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while. **

"**Shake 'em off…shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this. **

Everyone rolled their eyes at Vernon's stupid behavior. I mean _really_. Shake off _wizards_ who could use a _tracking spell_ to find out their position?

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer. **

Everyone looked at Lily expectantly. Lily sighed, and with an amused smile explained what a computer and a television program was.

"A computer is like… like… well like nothing wizards have created actually. They run on electricity which is – "

"Electricity?" asked James, confused.

Lily gave another exasperated sigh and said, "Electricity is what enables Muggles to drive cars, have air conditioning, lights without fire or magic, and communicate to each other faster than wizards."

Lily watched as their faces grew more and more confused with every word.

"In short, the Muggles are kicking our butts."

"Ah," they said.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"A television – WHAT NOW?" said Lily exasperatedly.

'_A-hem. Room of __Requirement__.'_

"Oh yeah…" said Lily, blinking. She imagined a Television, and one appeared (How something from the Muggle world worked inside Hogwarts, they'll never know. But this _was_ the Room of Requirement). It was currently playing _House_ and the Marauders watched, awe in their faces as they watched Dr. House save another life… albeit in his weird way of course.

"Well there you go. A television. Now go wish yourself up a computer," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

After a thorough examination of 'this bloody contraption' Remus decided to read.

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering… **

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table. **

"'**Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk." **

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address: **

_**Mr. H. Potter **_

_**Room 17 **_

_**Railview Hotel **_

_**Cokeworth **_

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared. **

"**I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room. **

"**Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage. **

"**Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared. **

"Yes, Dinky-Diddydums. Your father's gone mad," said Lily in an uncanny interpretation of Petunia.

The Marauders (followed by Lily quickly after) burst into hysterical laughter.

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled. **

"**It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a **_**television**_**." **

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it **_**was **_**Monday — and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television — then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday. Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Still, you weren't eleven every day. **

Lily's face turned from dangerous, to murderous, to downright _TERRIFYING_. That day went down in history as the day that the first earthquake hit Hogwarts, shaking the castle to its very roots.

**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought. **

"**Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!" **

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there. **

"**Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!" **

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them. **

Everyone leaned away from the book, as if afraid that said old man would jump out of the book and terrorize them. They were also afraid for Harry's virginity. The old man suspiciously like a pedophile…

"**I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!" **

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house. **

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms. **

**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up. **

Everyone scoffed. That was what the ol' coot thought was rations? As IF.

"**Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully. **

**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all. **

"DON'T WORRY, HARRY! HOGWARTS PROTECTS _ALL_ HER STUDENTS!" shouted Sirius, doing a victory pose.

Lily burst into laughter as James stared at Sirius incredulously. Remus looked at the two Marauders amusedly, but continued to read.

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket. **

Lily growled; she looked _exactly_ like an angry lioness who would kill _anything_ and _EVERYTHING_ to protect her cub. James looked much the same, except he was slowly ripping up another pillow. Sirius was surprisingly calm, but if you leaned a little closer, you could hear the sounds of grinding teeth.

**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now. **

Lily cleared her throat, and wished up the parchment that Chikaru spoke on. She conjured up a quill and began writing furiously.

"What are you writing?" asked James curiously as the parchment disappeared in a burst of white and blue light.

"Something that will help us all deal," said Lily, taking down the Muffliato Charm around Harry's crib and taking Harry out. "Something that will allow us to talk to our son," she continued, playing with Harry's hair.

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did. Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow. **

**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea? **

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds…twenty…ten…nine — maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him — three…two…one… **

"HAPPY _**BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY**_BIRTHDAY TO _YOUUUUU_UUUU! HAPPY BIRRRRTHDAY DEAR _HAAAA_ARRY, HAPPY BIRRR_RRRTHDAAY _TOOOOOOOO-_OO_-**OOOOO, **_**YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**__!!_" sang both James and Sirius simultaneously.

Lily giggled with Harry as James and Sirius began to argue who had sang better, and Remus had to cover his face with the book so the others wouldn't see how red his face was from laughing so hard.

**BOOM. **

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

"Sweet bloody Merlin! _More_ suspense?!" said Lily, clutching at her chest.

James, Sirius, and Remus stared at Lily, their mouths gaping.

"Lily," began James, composing himself and wrapping an arm around Lily. "did you just say 'sweet bloody Merlin'?"

Lily blushed slightly, and cleared her throat. "I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear."

"Oh, no you don't!" said Sirius, grinning. He conjured up a table and did a little jig. "Lily swore! Lily swore! Lily swore!"

James joined in with the dancing and shouting ''Lily swore!'' while Remus rolled on the floor, holding his sides, laughing too hard to form a coherent word.

Lily just rolled her eyes.

*

**[1] – I made up her address. I have no idea where she lived so… *shrug***

**[2] - Cheshire Cat: from _ALICE IN WONDERLAND_**

**SWEET BLOODY MERLIN! I'VE FINALLY DONE THIS CHAPTER! *head desk***

**Lily: Took you long enough.**

**Chikaru: NOT MY FAULT!**

**James: Uh huh.**

**Chikaru: It was the homework! *defiant face***

**Sirius: I know how you feel, mate. *pats Chikaru on her shoulder***

**Remus: *scoff***

**PLEASE REVIEW! :3**


	4. The Keeper of the Keys

**OH MY GOSH! THE FOURTH CHAPTER! :D**

**Your reviews answered! :D**

**Johnny Bravo J:** MUAHAHA… thank you. ;D *glomp*

**littlelfgirl13:** *cough* Ex-_cuse_ me? This is _my_ fic, here lady. I can do whatever the _FUCK_ I please. "This is unreal" well **DUH**. *scoff* This is an **AU** FIC! *glare*

**LilyCalliePotter:** Thank you! :D *LE GLOMP*

**14hp1:** GAAH! THE FABLED 14hp1!! :D Harry's reaction… _priceless_. :D And mah A/Ns OWN. :D Remus's face is too hot to be seen while he's laughing… *hides pic of Remus, Sirius and James laughing* …yes… *shifty eyes*

**AND NOW ONTO THE FIC!! :D**

**Disclaimer's in the FIRST chap, and DON'T FORGET IT. :D**

**If you don't like, DON'T READ! *glares at littlelfgirl13***

*

Sirius's stomach grumbled.

"Sirius…" began James exasperatedly.

"What? We've been reading for one and a half hours already! I'm hungry!" protested Sirius.

"At 10:35 in the night?" said Remus incredulously.

"So?" said Sirius.

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "I don't be_lieve_ you, Sirius. How could you possibly be hungry at this _ungodly_ hour?"

Sirius sniffed, "I'm a growing boy!"

"Growing boy…" scoffed James.

"Harry 'ungy." Said Harry, tugging on Lily's robes.

"Ha! You can't deny a baby food!" said Sirius triumphantly, and he scooped Harry up while turning to the rest of the group. "Well? You comin' or what?"

Lily and Remus just rolled their eyes while James protested, "Unhand my son, foul beast!"

"Never!" shouted Sirius, and he ran for the hills.

"COME BACK, YE SCOUNDREL!" bellowed James, and brandishing his wand, gave chase.

The high peals of Harry's laughter rang throughout the Room.

*

"A-hem," James cleared his throat, and said with a straight face, "Well, now that we're all done eating…" He glanced sideways at Sirius, who had just gotten pie'd in the face.

"Damn you, James Potter…" muttered Sirius as he wiped off the cream.

"Pa-foot gots pie'n face!" giggled Harry, pointing a finger in Sirius's direction.

Lily said with as much dignity as she could muster, "Sirius… you've got some pie in your hair."

It was all too much for Remus. Grabbing the edge of a table, he busted up into hysterical laughter at the expression on Sirius's face.

"PIE! PIE-IN-FACE!" squealed Harry, clapping his small hands together.

James cleared his throat and said, "Let's read the next chapter, shall we?" His mouth was still twitching as he opened up to the bookmarked page.

**CHAPTER FOUR **

**THE KEEPER OF THE KEYS **

**BOOM.**

**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. **

"**Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly. **

Lily snorted into her cup of hot chocolate, and Remus had to stuff his face into his pillow to muffle his laughter.

"What's a cannon?" asked Sirius.

"It's a type of Muggle weaponry… well… that's what Lily said…" whispered James.

**There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands – now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them. **

"**Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you — I'm armed!" **

"One well-aimed Stunning Spell ought'a do it." Said Sirius, jabbing his wand at an invisible opponent.

**There was a pause. Then — **

**SMASH! **

**The door was hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor. **

"CRASHH!" shouted James, but was quickly silenced by Lily's cold green-eyed glare.

**A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair. **

"HAGRID!" shouted Lily and the three Marauders.

"Ha-gid? Who Ha-gid, Momma?" said Harry, poking Lily's arm.

"A _really_ nice person, Harry. You'll see him sometime soon." Replied Lily, tickling Harry's stomach.

**The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all. **

"**Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey…" **

**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear. **

"**Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger. **

"_YEAAH_! GO HAGRID!" shouted James.

**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon. **

"Sissy." Sniffed Lily, and the three Marauders gaped at her.

"**An' here's Harry!" said the giant. **

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile. **

"**Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mom's eyes." **

"I've got a weird feeling that that's not the last time we're going to hear that…" mused Remus.

"I bet it is!" said Sirius.

"How 'bout we both bet a Galleon on it?" said Remus.

"You're on!" said Sirius.

**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise. **

"**I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!" **

"As if we give a damn…" muttered James.

"**Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant; he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room. **

"Go, Hagrid! Go, Hagrid!" cheered the group.

"G'Ha-gid!" grinned Harry.

**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on. **

"**Anyway — Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here — I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right." **

**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with **_**Happy Birthday Harry **_**written on it in green icing. **

Sirius and James abruptly got up and began a loud chorus of 'Happy Birthday', with Remus and Lily joining in not long after.

**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?" **

**The giant chuckled. **

"**True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." **

**He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm. **

"**What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind." **

Lily pouted and said sternly, "No one drinks alcohol in front of _my_ son!"

"Not even me?" said James sweetly.

He was promptly shut up by a smack to the head.

"Heehee, Daddy get smack-ed!" giggled Harry.

Remus and Sirius snorted.

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath. **

**The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea. **

"He did _NOT_ just drink brandy in front of my baby!" protested Lily indignantly.

"Oh, yes he did." Muttered Sirius amusedly.

**Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley." **

"No, reaaaally?" muttered Remus.

"Why you slimy, stinking, no-good, two-faced, backstabbing, horrible, disgusting, son of a bi—oh!" Lily covered her mouth when she'd seen Harry looking at her with wide eyes.

James, Sirius, and Remus promptly cracked up.

**The giant chuckled darkly. **

"**Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry." **

Lily, James, Remus, and Sirius all lay draped across something holding their stomachs as their laughter grew louder.

**He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful,**

Sirius turned into Padfoot and growled, hunched protectively over Harry. _Blood… blood from the ones who hurt the pup…_

"Calm down, Sirius," said Remus… although he was slowly and fiercely ripping up a poor old pillow.

"I'm… going… to… KILL… you… Vernon… Dursley…" said James quietly.

"I second that notion," muttered Lily, eyes narrowed as she brandished her wand.

"Pa-foot _big_ furry dog. Pa-foot _fluffy_. Harry like." Said Harry, and he climbed on top of Padfoot, sitting down on his broad black shoulders.

Padfoot's expression was priceless; he seemed to be wondering whether to take this as a compliment or an insult. They couldn't help but to crack up.

**but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant. Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are." **

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. **

"**Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts — yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course. **

"**Er — no," said Harry. **

**Hagrid looked shocked. **

"Yeah, I'd be too." Said Remus.

"**Sorry," Harry said quickly. **

"_**Sorry**_**?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?" **

"O' course, 'e did!" said James in an uncanny likeness to Hagrid.

Harry stared at James with wide eyes. "Daddy's Ha-gid?"

Lily just coughed and tried to look innocent when Sirius and Remus looked at her.

"**All what?" asked Harry. **

"**ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' one second!" **

**He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall. **

"Man, Hagrid kicks BUTT." Said Sirius in awe.

"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy — this boy! — knows nothin' abou' — about ANYTHING?"

"Yes, that would be the general reaction of… oh… the _entire_ wizarding world," said Remus.

**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad. **

"**I know **_**some **_**things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff." **

**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About **_**our **_**world, I mean. **_**Your **_**world. **_**My **_**world. **_**Yer parents' world**_**." **

"**What world?" **

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode. **

They all sighed; they knew _exactly_ how Hagrid felt.

"**DURSLEY!" he boomed. **

**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. **

"Mimblewimble?" said Sirius, snorting.

"**But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're **_**famous**_**. You're **_**famous**_**." **

"**What? My — my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?" **

"Of _course_ I'm famous." Said James pompously.

Lily smacked him. Again.

"**Yeh don' know…yeh don' know…" Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare. **

"**Yeh don' know what yeh **_**are**_**?" he said finally. **

"He makes it sound so insulting," said Remus.

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice. **

"**Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!" **

"You can't forbid nobody _NOTHIN'_ yah slimy git!" scowled James.

**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage. **

Sirius whistled. "Ooh, what I wouldn't give to see Vermin's face."

"Me too," said James, high-fiving Sirius.

"**You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?" **

"**Kept **_**what **_**from me?" said Harry eagerly. **

"**STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic. **

**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror. **

"**Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. "Harry — yer a wizard." **

"HA! YOU JUST GOT _TOLD_, PETUNIA!" shouted Lily, pointing an accusing finger at the book.

James, Sirius and Remus cheered with her, and Sirius said in a bad announcer voice:

"You've just been told that you're a wizard, and now you're second-guessing yourself! Whaddya do _now_?"

Remus smacked him.

**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard. **

"**I'm a **_**what**_**?" gasped Harry. **

"Not a what, a who." Corrected Remus.

"Damn you, Lupin! Did you have to hit me so hard?" muttered Sirius.

"Yes, yes I did."

"**A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good 'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter." **

"AND HE FINALLY GETS THE BLASTED LETTER!" exclaimed Remus dramatically.

**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to **_**Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea. **_**He pulled out the letter and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**_

_**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**_

_**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)**_

_**Dear Mr. Potter, **_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. **_

_**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31. **_

_**Yours sincerely, **_

_**Minerva McGonagall, **_

_**Deputy Headmistress **_

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?" **

"Harry, Harry, Harry. How could you not know what—oh, wait. Forgot." Said Sirius, quailing under Lily and James's combined glares.

"**Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl — a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl — a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down: **

_**Dear Professor Dumbledore, **_

_**Given Harry his letter. **_

_**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow. **_

_**Weather's horrible. Hope you're well. **_

_**Hagrid **_

**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was as normal as talking on the telephone. **

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly. **

"**Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight. **

"**He's not going," he said. **

"And _I'M_ going to stick this fork _so_ far up your _fat_ a—what?" asked Lily as Remus, James, and Sirius all grinned at her.

**Hagrid grunted. **

"**I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said. **

"**A what?" said Harry, interested. **

"**A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in a family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on." **

"Literally _and_ figuratively speaking," said James.

"**We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!" **

"I'll show YOU stamping out!" shouted Remus.

"Sometimes I can understand why Moldy-wart hates Muggles." Muttered James.

"**You **_**knew**_**?" said Harry. "You **_**knew **_**I'm a — a wizard?" **

"**Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "**_**Knew**_**! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that **_**school **_**— and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! **

James, Sirius and Remus roared in protest, and even Harry had the decency to scrunch his nose.

**But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" **

"They'd obviously preferred her great personality than your sour, pessimistic one," muttered Sirius.

**She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years. **

"And I'm going to say something to _you_ later." Muttered Lily.

"**Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as — as —**_**abnormal **_**— and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!" **

"How—How—HOW DARE YOU!" shouted Remus and Sirius.

Lily's eye was twitching whilst she played with Harry's hair, and James's face was red from holding in the multitude of curses he wanted to say.

**Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!" **

"THEY DID _WHAT_?!" roared Sirius.

"What dey do?" asked Harry.

"Er… nothing, Harry." Said James.

"**CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!" **

"Kind of sad, really…" muttered Remus.

"**But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently. **

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious. **

"**I never expected this," he said, in a low, worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh — but someone's gotta — yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'." **

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys. **

"I'd do _more_ than just throw a dirty look at 'im…" scowled Sirius.

"**Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh — mind, I can't tell yeh everythin', it's a great myst'ry, parts of it…"**

**He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with — with a person called — but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows —" **

"Alright, everyone. On the count of three." Said James.

"**Who?" **

"One."

"**Well — I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does." **

"Two"

"**Why not?" **

"**Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went…bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was…" **

"Three"

**Hagrid gulped, but no words came out. **

"VOOOLLLDDEEEEMMMOOOOORRRTTTT!!" shouted everyone, grinning.

"Moldy-mort! Moldy-mort!" squealed Harry.

"We've got a Marauder in the making, that's for sure," said Lily, lightly pinching Harry's cheek.

"**Could you write it down?" Harry suggested. **

"**Nah — can't spell it. All right —**_**Voldemort**_**. " Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got 'em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, 'cause he was gettin' himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches…terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him — an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway. **

"That's 'cuz Dumbledore could KICK HIS BUTT!" said Sirius.

"**Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day! **

Remus shook his head. "I'd never thought I'd see the day when _James Potter_ became Head Boy of Hogwarts… it just goes to show that the impossible _is_ possible."

James sniffed indignantly.

"Moo-y no tease Daddy!" said Harry.

"YEAH!" shouted James.

"… is too easy." Finished Harry.

"Yea—hey!" said James.

Lily, Sirius, and Remus cracked up.

**Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get 'em on his side before…probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side. **

"Duh," said James, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"**Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em…maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' — an' —" **

**Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his nose with a sound like a foghorn. **

"**Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad — knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find — anywa… **

James and Lily's faces were like stone at this point.

Harry started to play with Lily's hair.

"**You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then — an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing — he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh — took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even — but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry. No one ever lived after he decided ter kill 'em, no one except you, an' he'd killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age — the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts — an' you was only a baby, an' you lived." **

"You don't think that the Prewett brothers were…?" said Lily trailing off.

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh. **

They all looked at Harry, wondering if he'd dreamed of the green light and the cold laughter in his short lifetime.

**Hagrid was watching him sadly. **

"**Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot…." **

"**Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped; he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched. **

Remus clamped a hand over Sirius's mouth when he'd looked extremely close to cursing.

"**Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured **

Sirius changed in to Padfoot and barked. James and Remus stood up and glared at the book while Lily squished Harry to her chest.

"NO ONE HITS _MY_ CHILD!" screeched Lily, eyes flicking to and fro.

— **and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdoes, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion — asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types — just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end —" **

"I'm going to show _YOU_ a 'sticky end'!" shouted Sirius.

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley — I'm warning you — one more word…" **

"What I wouldn't _give_ to be Hagrid just then…" said everyone at the same time.

They looked at each other in surprise, and broke into laughter.

**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent. **

"**That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor. **

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them. **

"**But what happened to Vol-, sorry — I mean, You-Know-Who?" **

"**Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see…he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go? **

"**Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die. Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back. **

"**Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — **_**I **_**dunno what it was, no one does — but somethin' about you stumped him, all right." **

**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football? **

Words could not express the rage they felt.

"**Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard." **

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled. **

"**Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?" **

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it…every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry…chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach…dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back…and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him? **

Lily remembered the parchment, and, getting a quill, began to write.

'_Are you _sure_ you won't tell us if Harry's a Parselmouth?'_

The parchment glowed and began to have words appear on it, as if someone on the other side was writing something at that very moment…

'… _you will find out in Book __Two__. Be patient. ;D'_

"Be patient…" scoffed Lily.

**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him. **

"**See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts." **

**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight. **

"**Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —" **

"RUBBISH?! RUBBISH?! _YOU'RE_ THE RUBBISH, VERNON DURSLEY!" roared Sirius.

"**If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born. He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled—" **

"**I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. **

**But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "— INSULT — ALBUS — DUMBLEDORE — IN — FRONT — OF — ME!" **

"AND US, TOO!" roared the Marauders and Lily.

**He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers. **

There was a silence that enveloped them all.

James's mouth started to twitch dangerously.

Lily's mouth was curving upwards.

Sirius's face was slowly turning red.

Remus was grinning.

"Dudley-pig!" said Harry.

It was too much; they all cracked up.

**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them. **

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard. **

"**Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do." **

This made them laugh even louder.

**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows. **

"**Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job." **

"**Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. **

"**Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore." **

"**Why were you expelled?" **

"**It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that." **

"He's hi-ding something…" sing-songed Lily.

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry. **

"**You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."**

"Did he just say _DOORMICE_?" said Remus, grinning madly.

"Yes… Yes he did." Replied Sirius with as much dignity he could muster.

They all cracked up.

*

**Chikaru: … aaaaand there we go! ;D**

**Sirius: Took you a while to get this one out.**

**James: A while? A **_**WHILE**_**? Try one-and-a-half weeks!**

**Chikaru: *sniffs indignantly* At least I got it out! *smacks James and Sirius***

**Lily: I have no comment.**

**Harry: *giggle* Chikaru go red.**

**Chikaru: *face slowly turns red* IT – BUT – I – ****UGH****!**

**Remus: Please review. :D *waves***

**Chikaru: *glomps Remus***

**Remus: O..O **_**SAVE MEEE!!!!~**_

**Sirius: *cough* *whistles***

**James: *acts as if nothing's happening***

**Lily: *pretends to notice nothing***

**Harry: Remus face red. *giggle***


	5. Diagon Alley

"**A-hem" said Cindy, clearing her throat. "Now, let's begin with Chapter Five of the Reading the Harry Po—"**

**Suddenly Sirius appeared and shouted, "HEY! CINDY! EXPLAIN TO US **_**WHY**_** YOU GOT US THE—"**

"**OH! Gotta go!" squeaked Cindy, and she darted off faster than the speed of light.**

"**Damn!" cursed Sirius, snapping his fingers.**

**ENJOY!**

*

Lily checked her watch and stifled a gasp.

"What's wrong Lily-flower?" said James.

"Guys… it's 11:59." Lily whispered.

"Oh. Well _da_-yum!" said Sirius, grinning. "I think this is a personal best, guys!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "And yet I still wonder why I hang out with you guys."

"That's because you _looooooooooooooooooooooove_ us, Moony!" said Sirius, fluttering his eyelashes ridiculously.

Remus smacked Sirius upside down the head.

James coughed, grinning. "Is there something I don't know about between you two?"

Remus and Sirius whipped their heads around at him, beet red in the face.

Lily burst into laughter at their shocked faces, grabbing onto the arm of the sofa.

"Shut up, Prongs." Muttered Sirius, as he picked up the book.

"Oh, no you don't!" said Remus, swiping the book from Sirius's hands. "It's Lily's turn to read."

Sirius pouted, but relented.

"Alright, people. It's show time." Said Lily, and she opened the book.

**CHAPTER FIVE **

**DIAGON ALLEY **

**Harry woke early the next morning. Although he could tell it was daylight, he kept his eyes shut tight. **

_**It was a dream, **_**he told himself firmly. **_**I dreamed a giant called Hagrid came to tell me I was going to a school for wizards. When I open my eyes I'll be at home in my cupboard. **_

"If it was a dream, you've got an extremely overactive imagination, Harry." Said Remus.

**There was suddenly a loud tapping noise. **

_**And there's Aunt Petunia knocking on the door**_**, Harry thought, his heart sinking. But he still didn't open his eyes. It had been such a good dream. **

**Tap. Tap. Tap. **

"**All right," Harry mumbled, "I'm getting up." **

**He sat up and Hagrid's heavy coat fell off him. The hut was full of sunlight, the storm was over, Hagrid himself was asleep on the collapsed sofa, and there was an owl rapping its claw on the window, a newspaper held in its beak. **

"WHOO! IT WASN'T A DREAM!" shouted both James and Sirius.

**Harry scrambled to his feet, so happy he felt as though a large balloon was swelling inside him. He went straight to the window and jerked it open. The owl swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up. The owl then fluttered onto the floor and began to attack Hagrid's coat. **

"**Don't do that." **

**Harry tried to wave the owl out of the way, but it snapped its beak fiercely at him and carried on savaging the coat. **

"You've got to _pay_ the owl, Harry." Said Lily.

"**Hagrid!" said Harry loudly. "There's an owl —" **

"**Pay him," Hagrid grunted into the sofa. **

"**What?" **

"**He wants payin' fer deliverin' the paper. Look in the pockets." **

**Hagrid's coat seemed to be made of nothing **_**but **_**pockets — bunches of keys, slug pellets, balls of string, peppermint humbugs, teabags…finally, Harry pulled out a handful of strange-looking coins. **

"… I don't even want to know." Said Remus, shaking his head.

"**Give him five Knuts," said Hagrid sleepily. **

"**Knuts?" **

"Poor boy doesn't even know what Knuts are…" said Sirius, sighing.

"**The little bronze ones." **

**Harry counted out five little bronze coins, and the owl held out his leg so Harry could put the money into a small leather pouch tied to it. Then he flew off through the open window. **

**Hagrid yawned loudly, sat up, and stretched. **

"**Best be off, Harry, lots ter do today, gotta get up ter London an' buy all yer stuff fer school." **

**Harry was turning over the wizard coins and looking at them. He had just thought of something that made him feel as though the happy balloon inside him had got a puncture. **

"Why, Harry?! WHAT DID THE HAPPY BALLOON EVER DO TO _YOU_?!" said James dramatically.

Lily smacked him.

"**Um — Hagrid?" **

"**Mm?" said Hagrid, who was pulling on his huge boots. **

"**I haven't got any money — and you heard Uncle Vernon last night…he won't pay for me to go and learn magic." **

"**Don't worry about that," said Hagrid, standing up and scratching his head. "D'yeh think yer parents didn't leave yeh anything?" **

"Yeah, Harry. We're not heartless bastards and _don't_ you say _anything_ Black, or I_ will_ be forced to relocate your male genitals!" said Lily fiercely.

Sirius clamped his mouth shut.

"**But if their house was destroyed —" **

"**They didn' keep their gold in the house, boy! Nah, first stop fer us is Gringotts. Wizards' bank. Have a sausage, they're not bad cold — an' I wouldn' say no teh a bit o' yer birthday cake, neither." **

"**Wizards have **_**banks**_**?" **

Lily scoffed. "Muggles were the ones who stole the idea from us in the first place…"

"Oh, really?" said Remus interestedly.

James plucked the book out of Lily's hand and said, "Go discuss this over _there_ and let ol' Padfoot and me read the book."

Lily and Remus left for the corner.

"**Just the one. Gringotts. Run by goblins." **

**Harry dropped the bit of sausage he was holding. **

"_**Goblins**_**?" **

"Doesn't even know that goblins exist…" muttered Sirius.

"**Yeah — so yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it, I'll tell yeh that. Never mess with goblins, Harry. Gringotts is the safest place in the world fer anything yeh want ter keep safe — 'cept maybe Hogwarts. As a matter o' fact, I gotta visit Gringotts anyway. Fer Dumbledore. Hogwarts business." Hagrid drew himself up proudly. "He usually gets me ter do important stuff fer him. Fetchin' you — gettin' things from Gringotts — knows he can trust me, see." **

"**Got everythin'? Come on, then." **

**Harry followed Hagrid out onto the rock. The sky was quite clear now and the sea gleamed in the sunlight. The boat Uncle Vernon had hired was still there, with a lot of water in the bottom after the storm. **

"**How did you get here?" Harry asked, looking around for another boat. **

"**Flew," said Hagrid. **

"He can fly! He can fly!" said James, grinning.

"_**Flew**_**?" **

"**Yeah — but we'll go back in this. Not s'pposed ter use magic now I've got yeh." **

**They settled down in the boat, Harry still staring at Hagrid, trying to imagine him flying. **

"**Seems a shame ter row, though," said Hagrid, giving Harry another of his sideways looks. "If I was ter — er — speed things up a bit, would yeh mind not mentionin' it at Hogwarts?" **

"**Of course not," said Harry, eager to see more magic. Hagrid pulled out the pink umbrella again, tapped it twice on the side of the boat, and they sped off toward land. **

"**Why would you be mad to try and rob Gringotts?" Harry asked. **

"**Spells — enchantments," said Hagrid, unfolding his newspaper as he spoke. "They say there's dragons guardin' the high security vaults. And then yeh gotta find yer way — Gringotts is hundreds of miles under London, see. Deep under the Underground. Yeh'd die of hunger tryin' ter get out, even if yeh did manage ter get yer hands on summat." **

**Harry sat and thought about this while Hagrid read his newspaper, the **_**Daily Prophet**_**. Harry had learned from Uncle Vernon that people liked to be left alone while they did this, but it was very difficult, he'd never had so many questions in his life. **

"**Ministry o' Magic messin' things up as usual," Hagrid muttered, turning the page. **

"**There's a Ministry of Magic?" Harry asked, before he could stop himself. **

"Sometimes I think we're better off _without_ a Ministry," muttered Lily, swiping the book from James.

"'**Course," said Hagrid. "They wanted Dumbledore fer Minister, o' course, but he'd never leave Hogwarts, so old Cornelius Fudge got the job. Bungler if ever there was one. So he pelts Dumbledore with owls every morning, askin' fer advice." **

"**But what does a Ministry of Magic **_**do**_**?" **

"**Well, their main job is to keep it from the Muggles that there's still witches an' wizards up an' down the country." **

"**Why?" **

"_**Why? **_**Blimey, Harry, everyone'd be wantin' magic solutions to their problems. Nah, we're best left alone." **

"… yeah, and some problems _can't_ be solved magically." Said Lily, thinking of her death.

The forgotten parchment glowed once more.

'_Hey, Lil…y… uh… is this a bad time?'_

"No, no, go on." Said James.

'_Well, Lily, the thing we discussed? Well… the laws of time and existence probably won't let me let you interact with him directly during his time, but maybe I could do this parchment thing with him… But then again, there are multiple universes that constantly branch off from this one, so you'd have to choose which one. Then we'd have to consider the fact that you can't let the parchment be seen, or the interwoven fabrics of the countless universes would unravel and everything would be plunged into a state of mayhem and chaos. So… I don't think it's going to work. I'll try to figure something out, but the chances are slim, I'm afraid.'_

"Oh…" Lily sounded genuinely disappointed.

'_Yeah… ugh. Writing this is getting tedious. You know what? I'm going to see if there's a spell/charm that I can use to project my voice… wait! HEY!'_

"_What now—"_

'_DON'T SAY MY REAL N—you know what? Go ahead. I don't care anymore. My name's _pretty_ common anyways."_

"_Let me begin again. _WHAT_, Cindy?"_

'_Well… oh, damn it all. What should I call you?'_

Lily and the three Marauders looked mildly amused and confused.

"… _I don't even know why I'm here anymore."_

"Are you using a DictaQuill?" inquired Remus.

'_What? Oh, yeah, I'm using an extremely old one, so sometimes I have to write it by hand… 8D And did you guys know that I can see you guys right now? It's like a 3-D projection. It's awesome… we're getting off task here. OI! I'm going to call you Share, alright?'_

"_Fine, fine. What'cha need?"_

''_Well, seeing as my mom's confiscated my wand (it involves a perfectly timed spell and the Weasley twins, I'll tell you the story later) I need you to cast the _Vox vocis Exertus_ Charm on me.''_

"_Why?"_

''_MY HAND'S CRAMPING IS WHY, AND WE HAVE A FREAKING ESSAY DUE TOMORROW!''_

"_Yeesh! Alright! _Vox vocis Exertus_!"_

"_Oh, _thank_ you!"_

"Amazing! We can actually hear your voices!" said Lily, amazed.

"_Whatever… OMG SIRIUS I _**LUFF**_ YOU!''_

"… _uh…"_

Sirius coughed embarrassedly.

"… _I need a word with my friend. Go back to reading the HP#1. HEY! SHARE! GET BACK HERE!"_

"Seems like you've got fans in the future too, Pads." Said James, smirking.

"_Shaddap_. Please read, Lily." Said Sirius.

**At this moment the boat bumped gently into the harbor wall. Hagrid folded up his newspaper, and they clambered up the stone steps onto the street. **

**Passersby stared a lot at Hagrid as they walked through the little town to the station. Harry couldn't blame them. Not only was Hagrid twice as tall as anyone else, he kept pointing at perfectly ordinary things like parking meters and saying loudly, "See that, Harry? Things these Muggles dream up, eh?" **

"**Hagrid," said Harry, panting a bit as he ran to keep up, "did you say there are **_**dragons **_**at Gringotts?" **

"**Well, so they say," said Hagrid. "Crikey, I'd like a dragon." **

"**You'd **_**like **_**one?" **

"I second that," said Remus, looking white.

"**Wanted one ever since I was a kid — here we go." **

"That's it. No more insane people next to my kid," said James.

**They had reached the station. There was a train to London in five minutes' time. Hagrid, who didn't understand "Muggle money," as he called it, gave the bills to Harry so he could buy their tickets. **

**People stared more than ever on the train. Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow circus tent. **

Everyone's eye started to twitch.

"**Still got yer letter, Harry?" he asked as he counted stitches. **

**Harry took the parchment envelope out of his pocket. **

"**Good," said Hagrid. "There's a list there of everything yeh need." **

**Harry unfolded a second piece of paper he hadn't noticed the night before, and read: **

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY **_

_**UNIFORM **_

_**First-year students will require: **_

_** sets of plain work robes (black)**_

_**2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear **_

_**3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) **_

_**4. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings) **_

_**Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags **_

_**COURSE BOOKS **_

_**All students should have a copy of each of the following: **_

_**The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)by Miranda Goshawk **_

_**A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot **_

"What is she like… a million years old now?" said Sirius.

"I say two million." Said Remus, grinning.

"_Surprise, surprise, I'm back."_

"Hello, Cindy." Said Lily.

"_Hey there, Lils. Oh, and ol' Bathlda's not really a million years old… she's somewhere around a hundered."_

"Whatever…" said Sirius.

_**Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling **_

"WAFFLING?" snickered James.

_**A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch **_

_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore **_

_**Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger **_

_**Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander **_

_**The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble **_

"Jigger? Scamander? TRIMBLE?" snorted Remus.

_**OTHER EQUIPMENT **_

_**1 wand **_

_**1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) **_

_**1 set of glass or crystal phials **_

_**1 telescope set **_

_**1 brass scales **_

_**Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad **_

_**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS **_

"**Can we buy all this in London?" Harry wondered aloud. **

"**If yeh know where to go," said Hagrid. **

**Harry had never been to London before. Although Hagrid seemed to know where he was going, he was obviously not used to getting there in an ordinary way. He got stuck in the ticket barrier on the Underground, and complained loudly that the seats were too small and the trains too slow. **

"**I don't know how the Muggles manage without magic," he said as they climbed a broken-down escalator that led up to a bustling road lined with shops. **

"Me neither," said Lily, thinking of the one incident including a frying pan, Petunia's hair, and a hamster.

**Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him. **

"_AND SO MOSES PARTED THE RED SEA!"_

"Gaah!" shrieked Lily, dropping the book.

"_Whoops, sorry."_

"He-_llo_? Are you _trying_ to give us a heart attack?" gasped Remus, clutching his chest.

James and Sirius did not say anything… they were laughing too hard.

"_No! Of _course_ not!"_

"You're grinning aren't you Cindy?" said Lily flatly.

"_Why, how_ever_ did you know?"_

**They passed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic wand. This was just an ordinary street full of ordinary people. Could there really be piles of wizard gold buried miles beneath them? Were there really shops that sold spell books and broomsticks? Might this not all be some huge joke that the Dursleys had cooked up? If Harry hadn't known that the Dursleys had no sense of humor, he might have thought so; yet somehow, even though everything Hagrid had told him so far was unbelievable, Harry couldn't help trusting him. **

"That's 'cuz Hagrid's trustworthy." Said James.

"**This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place." **

"It's not _just_ a famous place. It's _**the**_ famous place!" said Sirius.

"_The Leaky Cauldron! Buy your tickets now!"_

Lily snorted.

**It was a tiny, grubby-looking pub. If Hagrid hadn't pointed it out, Harry wouldn't have noticed it was there. The people hurrying by didn't glance at it. Their eyes slid from the big book shop on one side to the record shop on the other as if they couldn't see the Leaky Cauldron at all. In fact, Harry had the most peculiar feeling that only he and Hagrid could see it. Before he could mention this, Hagrid had steered him inside. **

"Muggle-repelling Charm; it's _very_ useful," said Remus.

**For a famous place, it was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old bartender, who was quite bald and looked like a toothless walnut. **

"Seems like ol' Tommy's lost more teeth!" laughed Sirius.

**The low buzz of chatter stopped when they walked in. Everyone seemed to know Hagrid; they waved and smiled at him, and the bartender reached for a glass, saying, "The usual, Hagrid?" **

"**Can't, Tom, I'm on Hogwarts business," said Hagrid, clapping his great hand on Harry's shoulder and making Harry's knees buckle. **

"**Good Lord," said the bartender, peering at Harry, "is this — can this be —?" **

**The Leaky Cauldron had suddenly gone completely still and silent. **

"**Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter…what an honor." **

"Sirius, one Galleon on Harry getting this reaction throughout the book whenever he meets someone new," said Remus.

"You're on!" replied Sirius.

"_Don't you guys already have a bet going on?"_

"Yes we do. We like to multi-bet." Sniffed Sirius.

"_Whatever… but my money's on Remus, Pads."_

"TRAITOR!" accused Sirius dramatically.

"_Precisely."_

**He hurried out from behind the bar, rushed toward Harry and seized his hand, tears in his eyes. **

"**Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back." **

"I sense double-meaning." Said Lily, her face sad.

**Harry didn't know what to say. Everyone was looking at him. The old woman with the pipe was puffing on it without realizing it had gone out. Hagrid was beaming. **

**Then there was a great scraping of chairs and the next moment, Harry found himself shaking hands with everyone in the Leaky Cauldron. **

"**Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter, can't believe I'm meeting you at last." **

"**So proud, Mr. Potter, I'm just so proud." **

"**Always wanted to shake your hand — I'm all of a flutter." **

"**Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can't tell you, Diggle's the name, Dedalus Diggle." **

"**I've seen you before!" said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle's top hat fell off in his excitement. "You bowed to me once in a shop." **

"**He remembers!" cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone. "Did you hear that? He remembers me!" Harry shook hands again and again — Doris Crockford kept coming back for more. **

Everyone laughed… including Cindy.

**A pale young man made his way forward, very nervously. One of his eyes was twitching. **

"**Professor Quirrell!" said Hagrid. "Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts." **

"**P-P-Potter," stammered Professor Quirrell, grasping Harry's hand, "c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you." **

"P-Poor st-stuttering Qu-Quirrel!" guffawed James.

"**What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?" **

"**D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell, as though he'd rather not think about it. "N-not that you n-need it, eh, P-P-Potter?" He laughed nervously. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires, m-myself." He looked terrified at the very thought. **

**But the others wouldn't let Professor Quirrell keep Harry to himself. It took almost ten minutes to get away from them all. At last, Hagrid managed to make himself heard over the babble. **

"**Must get on — lots ter buy. Come on, Harry." **

**Doris Crockford shook Harry's hand one last time, and Hagrid led them through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a trash can and a few weeds. **

**Hagrid grinned at Harry. **

"**Told yeh, didn't I? Told yeh you was famous. Even Professor Quirrell was tremblin' ter meet yeh — mind you, he's usually tremblin'."**

"**Is he always that nervous?" **

"**Oh, yeah. Poor bloke. Brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some firsthand experience…They say he met vampires in the Black Forest, and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag — never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject — now, where's me umbrella?" **

Lily giggled. "Hagrid sure likes to switch topics quickly, doesn't he?"

"_DUR! He's _Hagrid_. He's… _supposed_ to be like that. That's that."_

**Vampires? Hags? Harry's head was swimming. Hagrid, meanwhile, was counting bricks in the wall above the trash can. **

"**Three up…two across…" he muttered. "Right, stand back, Harry." **

**He tapped the wall three times with the point of his umbrella. **

**The brick he had touched quivered — it wriggled — in the middle, a small hole appeared — it grew wider and wider — a second later they were facing an archway large enough even for Hagrid, an archway onto a cobbled street that twisted and turned out of sight. **

"**Welcome," said Hagrid, "to Diagon Alley." **

**He grinned at Harry's amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall. **

**The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop. Cauldrons — All Sizes — Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver — Self-Stirring — Collapsible, said a sign hanging over them. **

"**Yeah, you'll be needin' one," said Hagrid, "but we gotta get yer money first." **

**Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an Apothecary was shaking her head as they passed, saying, "Dragon liver, sixteen Sickles an ounce, they're mad…" **

**A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium — Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown, and Snowy. Several boys of about Harry's age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. "Look," Harry heard one of them say, "the new Nimbus Two Thousand — fastest ever —" There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels' eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills, and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon… **

"**Gringotts," said Hagrid. **

**They had reached a snowy white building that towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was — **

"**Yeah, that's a goblin," said Hagrid quietly as they walked up the white stone steps toward him. The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry. He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside. Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them: **

_**Enter, stranger, but take heed**_

_**Of what awaits the sin of greed,**_

_**For those who take, but do not earn,**_

_**Must pay most dearly in their turn.**_

_**So if you seek beneath our floors**_

_**A treasure that was never yours,**_

_**Thief, you have been warned, beware**_

_**Of finding more than treasure there.**_

"_You got _THAT_ right."_

"Why, do _you_ know what's under Gringotts?" said Lily curiously.

"_Er… well, I _guess_ you _could_ say that…"_

"Ooh, _do_ tell!" said Sirius.

"_Two words. Book. Seven."_

"Damn," said James.

"**Like I said, Yeh'd be mad ter try an' rob it," said Hagrid. **

**A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses. There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these. Hagrid and Harry made for the counter. **

"**Morning," said Hagrid to a free goblin. "We've come ter take some money outta Mr. Harry Potter's safe." **

"**You have his key, sir?" **

"**Got it here somewhere," said Hagrid, and he started emptying his pockets onto the counter, scattering a handful of moldy dog biscuits over the goblin's book of numbers. The goblin wrinkled his nose. Harry watched the goblin on their right weighing a pile of rubies as big as glowing coals. **

"**Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden key. **

**The goblin looked at it closely. **

"**That seems to be in order." **

"**An' I've also got a letter here from Professor Dumbledore," said Hagrid importantly, throwing out his chest. "It's about the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen." **

"Oh, Hagrid, Hagrid, _Hagrid_. That's the _first_ way someone realizes that you're doing something that's _supposed_ to be _secret_." Said Lily, exasperatedly.

**The goblin read the letter carefully. **

"**Very well," he said, handing it back to Hagrid, "I will have someone take you down to both vaults. Griphook!" **

**Griphook was yet another goblin. Once Hagrid had crammed all the dog biscuits back inside his pockets, he and Harry followed Griphook toward one of the doors leading off the hall. **

"**What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Harry asked. **

"**Can't tell yeh that," said Hagrid mysteriously. "Very secret. Hogwarts business. Dumbledore's trusted me. More'n my job's worth ter tell yeh that." **

**Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised. They were in a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks toward them. They climbed in — Hagrid with some difficulty — and were off. **

**At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages. Harry tried to remember, left, right, right, left, middle fork, right, left, but it was impossible. The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering. **

**Harry's eyes stung as the cold air rushed past them, but he kept them wide open. Once, he thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and twisted around to see if it was a dragon, but too late — they plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor. **

"**I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?" **

"**Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid. "An' don' ask me questions just now, I think I'm gonna be sick."**

"'_Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it,'" laughed Cindy._

Lily snorted, but changed it into a cough.

**He did look very green, and when the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall, Hagrid got out and had to lean against the wall to stop his knees from trembling. **

**Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts. **

Lily was smug. "Take _that_, Dursleys! YOU CAN'T TAKE MY BABY'S MONEY _NOW_!"

James did a victory dance with Sirius, jumping on top of a table while Sirius danced around it.

Remus cracked a rib trying not to laugh.

"**All yours," smiled Hagrid. **

**All Harry's — it was incredible. The Dursleys couldn't have known about this or they'd have had it from him faster than blinking. How often had they complained how much Harry cost them to keep? And all the time there had been a small fortune belonging to him, buried deep under London. **

"If they even _try_ to attempt…!" threatened Lily viciously, eyes flashing murderously.

"… We'll kill them with our bare hands." Finished James coolly, fingers clenching and unclenching.

Sirius and Remus agreed heartily, each vowing to protect little Harry. Sirius picked up the sleeping baby Harry and said, "Well, kid. You've got three _very_ powerful wizards _and_ an extremely powerful witch protecting you. How'd you feel?" he said, grinning.

Harry smiled in his sleep.

**Hagrid helped Harry pile some of it into a bag. **

"**The gold ones are Galleons," he explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, it's easy enough. Right, that should be enough fer a couple o' terms, we'll keep the rest safe for yeh." He turned to Griphook. "Vault seven hundred and thirteen now, please, and can we go more slowly?" **

"**One speed only," said Griphook. **

**They were going even deeper now and gathering speed. The air became colder and colder as they hurtled round tight corners. They went rattling over an underground ravine, and Harry leaned over the side to try to see what was down at the dark bottom, but Hagrid groaned and pulled him back by the scruff of his neck. **

**Vault seven hundred and thirteen had no keyhole. **

"**Stand back," said Griphook importantly. He stroked the door gently with one of his long fingers and it simply melted away. **

"**If anyone but a Gringotts goblin tried that, they'd be sucked through the door and trapped in there," said Griphook. **

"**How often do you check to see if anyone's inside?" Harry asked. **

"**About once every ten years," said Griphook with a rather nasty grin. **

**Something really extraordinary had to be inside this top security vault, Harry was sure, and he leaned forward eagerly, expecting to see fabulous jewels at the very least — but at first he thought it was empty. Then he noticed a grubby little package wrapped up in brown paper lying on the floor. Hagrid picked it up and tucked it deep inside his coat. Harry longed to know what it was, but knew better than to ask. **

"What'd'you think it is?" mused James.

"Who knows? Maybe the book'll reveal the answer," said Sirius.

"_That-a-boy, Siri!"_ echoed Cindy's voice.

"**Come on, back in this infernal cart, and don't talk to me on the way back, it's best if I keep me mouth shut," said Hagrid. **

**One wild cart ride later they stood blinking in the sunlight outside Gringotts. Harry didn't know where to run first now that he had a bag full of money. He didn't have to know how many Galleons there were to a pound to know that he was holding more money than he'd had in his whole life — more money than even Dudley had ever had. **

"**Might as well get yer uniform," said Hagrid, nodding toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. "Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts." He did still look a bit sick, so Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous. **

**Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve. **

"**Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. "Got the lot here — another young man being fitted up just now, in fact." **

"Ooh! I hope Harry makes a new friend!" smiled Lily, beaming.

Cindy's half-disguised snort was heard by everyone in the Room.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"_What? Uh… er… um… keep reading!"_ laughed Cindy.

**In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him slipped a long robe over his head, and began to pin it to the right length. **

"**Hello," said the boy, "Hogwarts, too?" **

"**Yes," said Harry. **

"**My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice. "Then I'm going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow." **

"Ugh. He's exactly like Dudley." Said a disgusted James.

**Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley. **

"Whoa… weird…" said James.

"You're like Harry, James!" laughed Sirius.

"NO WAY! _HE'S_ LIKE _ME_!"

"Whatever, Prongs ol' pal."

"**Have **_**you **_**got your own broom?" the boy went on. **

"**No," said Harry. **

"**Play Quidditch at all?" **

"**No," Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be. **

James and Sirius gasped dramatically, doing the most ridiculous poses as they did so.

"NOT KNOW _QUIDDITCH_?!" gasped James.

"Oh, the _HORROR_!" squealed Sirius.

"We can't stand for this, Padfoot, ol' pal!"

"No, of course not!"

"What shall we do to fi—"

"SHUT _UP_, AND _LET_ ME _READ_!" screeched Lily, effectively shutting them up.

"How_ do you _do_ that?"_ said an awed Cindy.

"It's all in the eyes, m'dear. All in the eyes," said a smirking Lily.

"_**I **_**do — Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?" **

"**No," said Harry, feeling more stupid by the minute. **

"It's _not_ your fault, Harry…" said Remus, frowning.

"**Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been — imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" **

"**Mmm," said Harry, wishing he could say something a bit more interesting. **

"**I say, look at that man!" said the boy suddenly, nodding toward the front window. Hagrid was standing there, grinning at Harry and pointing at two large ice creams to show he couldn't come in. **

"**That's Hagrid," said Harry, pleased to know something the boy didn't. "He works at Hogwarts." **

"**Oh," said the boy, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?" **

"**He's the gamekeeper," said Harry. He was liking the boy less and less every second. **

"Give 'im the ol' one-two!" grinned Sirius.

"**Yes, exactly. I heard he's a sort of **_**savage **_**— lives in a hut on the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic, and ends up setting fire to his bed." **

"HAGRID'S THE BEST PERSON… er… HALF-GIANT EVER!" growled James.

"**I think he's brilliant," said Harry coldly. **

"Whoa." Said James, shocked.

"_**Do **_**you?" said the boy, with a slight sneer. "Why is he with you? Where are your parents?" **

"**They're dead," said Harry shortly. He didn't feel much like going into the matter with this boy. **

"**Oh, sorry," said the other, not sounding sorry at all. "But they were **_**our **_**kind, weren't they?" **

"That's it. I'm going to _SMACK_ that son-of-a-bitch!" cried Lily, brandishing her wand.

"This is one of those times when I think you're hot, Lils." Whispered James into her ear.

Lily blushed.

"**They were a witch and wizard, if that's what you mean." **

"**I really don't think they should let the other sort in, do you? They're just not the same, they've never been brought up to know our ways. Some of them have never even heard of Hogwarts until they get the letter, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What's your surname, anyway?" **

The three Marauders and Lily scoffed.

**But before Harry could answer, Madam Malkin said, "That's you done, my dear," and Harry, not sorry for an excuse to stop talking to the boy, hopped down from the footstool. **

"**Well, I'll see you at Hogwarts, I suppose," said the drawling boy. **

**Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream Hagrid had bought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts). **

"**What's up?" said Hagrid. **

"**Nothing," Harry lied. They stopped to buy parchment and quills. Harry cheered up a bit when he found a bottle of ink that changed color as you wrote. When they had left the shop, he said, "Hagrid, what's Quidditch?" **

James and Sirius dramatically fainted, making choking noises.

"**Blimey, Harry, I keep forgettin' how little yeh know — not knowin' about Quidditch!" **

"**Don't make me feel worse," said Harry. He told Hagrid about the pale boy in Madam Malkin's. **

"— **and he said people from Muggle families shouldn't even be allowed in —" **

"**Yer not **_**from **_**a Muggle family. If he'd known who yeh **_**were **_**— he's grown up knowin' yer name if his parents are wizardin' folk. You saw what everyone in the Leaky Cauldron was like when they saw yeh. Anyway, what does he know about it, some o' the best I ever saw were the only ones with magic in 'em in a long line o' Muggles — look at yer mum! Look what she had fer a sister!" **

"Ex_actly_." Said James, smirking.

Lil smacked him, but her mouth was twitching upwards.

"**So what **_**is **_**Quidditch?" **

"Harry, if you keep saying that, James and Sirius are going to have a stroke." Said Remus, struggling to keep a straight face as James and Sirius "died".

"**It's our sport. Wizard sport. It's like — like soccer in the Muggle world — everyone follows Quidditch — played up in the air on broomsticks and there's four balls — sorta hard ter explain the rules." **

"**And what are Slytherin and Hufflepuff?" **

"Slytherin's the House for evil little _bastards_, and Hufflepuff's the House for the loyal and hardworking ones," said Sirius, grinning.

"**School houses. There's four. Everyone says Hufflepuff are a lot o' duffers, but —" **

"**I bet I'm in Hufflepuff," said Harry gloomily. **

"**Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," said Hagrid darkly. "There's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. You-Know-Who was one." **

"See Lily? Even good-ol' Hagrid says so." Grinned James.

"**Vol-, sorry —You-Know-Who was at Hogwarts?" **

"**Years an' years ago," said Hagrid. **

**They bought Harry's school books in a shop called Flourish and Blotts where the shelves were stacked to the ceiling with books as large as paving stones bound in leather; books the size of postage stamps in covers of silk; books full of peculiar symbols and a few books with nothing in them at all. Even Dudley, who never read anything, would have been wild to get his hands on some of these. Hagrid almost had to drag Harry away from **_**Curses and Countercurses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More) **_**by Professor Vindictus Viridian. **

"**I was trying to find out how to curse Dudley." **

James sniffed proudly. "I'm so proud!"

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Let it be known that Harry James Potter carried on our ways from the very day he stepped inside the wizarding world."

Remus just rolled his eyes.

"**I'm not sayin' that's not a good idea, but yer not ter use magic in the Muggle world except in very special circumstances," said Hagrid. "An' anyway, yeh couldn' work any of them curses yet, yeh'll need a lot more study before yeh get ter that level." **

**Hagrid wouldn't let Harry buy a solid gold cauldron, either ("It says pewter on yer list"), but they got a nice set of scales for weighing potion ingredients and a collapsible brass telescope. Then they visited the Apothecary, which was fascinating enough to make up for its horrible smell,**

"That's cuz Snivellus spent his life in there," smirked Sirius.

**a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages. Barrels of slimy stuff stood on the floor; jars of herbs, dried roots, and bright powders lined the walls; bundles of feathers, strings of fangs, and snarled claws hung from the ceiling. While Hagrid asked the man behind the counter for a supply of some basic potion ingredients for Harry, Harry himself examined silver unicorn horns at twenty-one Galleons each and minuscule, glittery-black beetle eyes (five Knuts a scoop). **

**Outside the Apothecary, Hagrid checked Harry's list again. **

"**Just yer wand left — A yeah, an' I still haven't got yeh a birthday present." **

**Harry felt himself go red. **

"**You don't have to —" **

"OF COURSE HE DOES!" shouted James.

"DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN SOMEONE'S OFFERING TO BUY YOU SOMETHING!" added Sirius.

"Remind me to thank Hagrid," said Lily, smiling.

"Me as well," said a smiling Remus.

"**I know I don't have to. Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at — an' I don' like cats, they make me sneeze. I'll get yer an owl. All the kids want owls, they're dead useful, carry yer mail an' everythin'." **

**Twenty minutes later, they left Eeylops Owl Emporium, which had been dark and full of rustling and flickering, jewel-bright eyes. Harry now carried a large cage that held a beautiful snowy owl, fast asleep with her head under her wing. He couldn't stop stammering his thanks, sounding just like Professor Quirrell. **

"**Don' mention it," said Hagrid gruffly. "Don' expect you've had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. **

Everyone muttered something that had to do with "Dursleys" and "show them a 'present'" and we can't forget: "give 'em something from _me_."

**Just Ollivanders left now — only place fer wands, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best wand." **

**A magic wand…this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. **

**The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.**

"Huh," said Remus.

"What?" said Sirius.

"Well, does anyone _really_ know how old Ollivander is?"

"Uh…"

"_Thought_ so…"

**A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window. **

**A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as they stepped inside. It was a tiny place, empty except for a single, spindly chair that Hagrid sat on to wait. Harry felt strangely as though he had entered a very strict library; he swallowed a lot of new questions that had just occurred to him and looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic. **

"Impressive," said Remus.

"**Good afternoon," said a soft voice. Harry jumped. Hagrid must have jumped, too, because there was a loud crunching noise and he got quickly off the spindly chair. **

**An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop. **

"**Hello," said Harry awkwardly. **

"**Ah yes," said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. **

"That's one for me, Sirius," said Remus smugly.

"Yeah, well we've got a whole bunch more chapters to go!" retaliated Sirius, scowling.

**It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work." **

**Mr. Ollivander moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy. **

"We know how you feel." Said James.

"**Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration. Well, I say your father favored it — it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course." **

**Mr. Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes. **

"**And that's where…" **

**Mr. Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger. **

"**I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it," he said softly. "Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands…well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do…" **

**He shook his head and then, to Harry's relief, spotted Hagrid. **

"**Rubeus! Rubeus Hagrid! How nice to see you again…Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn't it?" **

"**It was, sir, yes," said Hagrid. **

"**Good wand, that one. But I suppose they snapped it in half when you got expelled?" said Mr. Ollivander, suddenly stern. **

"**Er — yes, they did, yes," said Hagrid, shuffling his feet. "I've still got the pieces, though," he added brightly. **

"**But you don't **_**use **_**them?" said Mr. Ollivander sharply. **

"**Oh, no, sir," said Hagrid quickly. Harry noticed he gripped his pink umbrella very tightly as he spoke. **

"Fascinating," said Lily. "He put the pieces into the umbrella! Amazing… I wonder how he did it?"

"**Hmmm," said Mr. Ollivander, giving Hagrid a piercing look. "Well, now — Mr. Potter. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?" **

"**Er — well, I'm right-handed," said Harry. **

"**Hold out your arm. That's it." He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand." **

**Harry suddenly realized that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own. **

"Very observing, aren't you?" laughed Sirius.

**Mr. Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes. **

"**That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. "Right then, Mr. Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just take it and give it a wave." **

**Harry took the wand and (feeling foolish) waved it around a bit, but Mr. Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once. **

"I always wanted to know how he knew _precisely_ what wand was good for you…" mused Lily.

"**Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try —" **

**Harry tried — but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Mr. Ollivander. **

"**No, no — here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out." **

**Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Mr. Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr. Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become. **

"Weird…" said James.

"**Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere — I wonder, now — yes, why not — unusual combination — holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."**

"Sirius."

"Yes, Remus?"

"How much would you like to bet that this is the wand?"

"No way. How could you possibly know that—"

"How much?"

"Three Galleons."

"Done."

**Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. **

"Pay up, Padfoot."

"Damn you, Lupin!"

"Pay up."

Sirius grumbled under his breath, but paid Remus his winnings.

**He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks **

"WHOO! HE'S TOTALLY GOING TO BE A GRYFFINDOR!" shouted James.

"How do you know that?" said Lily. "He could be in any of the other houses!"

"How much you wanna bet, Lily-Flower?"

"… Two Galleons."

"Done. Get ready to pay me."

**shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls. Hagrid whooped and clapped and Mr. Ollivander cried, "Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well…how curious…how very curious…" **

**He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious…curious…" **

"**Sorry," said Harry, "but **_**what's **_**curious?" **

"Yeah! What's so curious?" demanded Sirius.

"Well, you for one."

"Shuddup, Remus."

**Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare. **

"**I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar." **

"Hmm…" mused Remus.

"What?" said James.

"Huh? Oh… nothing… just a thought…" said Remus.

_Brother wands, hmm? Well _this_ should help Harry if he ever duels Voldemort… Merlin help the boy. May he _never_ have to face Voldemort in single combat…_ thought Remus, face grim.

"You sure, Moony?" said Sirius, waving his hand in front of Remus's face.

Remus quickly slid on a fake grin that fooled them all. "Yeah. Just keep reading."

Cindy watched Remus carefully in the 3D projection. _Does he know?_

**Harry swallowed. **

"**Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember…I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter…After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great." **

**Harry shivered. He wasn't sure he liked Mr. Ollivander too much. **

"That's understandable," muttered Lily.

**He paid seven gold Galleons for his wand, and Mr. Ollivander bowed them from his shop. **

**The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky as Harry and Hagrid made their way back down Diagon Alley, back through the wall, back through the Leaky Cauldron, now empty. Harry didn't speak at all as they walked down the road; he didn't even notice how much people were gawking at them on the Underground, laden as they were with all their funny-shaped packages, with the snowy owl asleep in its cage on Harry's lap. Up another escalator, out into Paddington station; Harry only realized where they were when Hagrid tapped him on the shoulder. **

"**Got time fer a bite to eat before yer train leaves," he said. **

**He bought Harry a hamburger and they sat down on plastic seats to eat them. Harry kept looking around. Everything looked so strange, somehow. **

"**You all right, Harry? Yer very quiet," said Hagrid. **

**Harry wasn't sure he could explain. He'd just had the best birthday of his life **

Everyone growled murderously under their breath about… 'visiting' the Dursleys.

— **and yet — he chewed his hamburger, trying to find the words. **

"**Everyone thinks I'm special," **

"That's because you _are_ special, Harry." Smiled Lily, taking baby Harry from Sirius and handing Remus the book.

**he said at last. "All those people in the Leaky Cauldron, Professor Quirrell, Mr. Ollivander…but I don't know anything about magic at all. How can they expect great things? I'm famous and I can't even remember what I'm famous for. I don't know what happened when Vol-, sorry — I mean, the night my parents died." **

James's lips formed a tight line.

**Hagrid leaned across the table. Behind the wild beard and eyebrows he wore a very kind smile. **

"**Don' you worry, Harry. You'll learn fast enough. Everyone starts at the beginning at Hogwarts, you'll be just fine. Just be yerself. I know it's hard. Yeh've been singled out, an' that's always hard. But yeh'll have a great time at Hogwarts — I did — still do, 'smatter of fact." **

"Yeah, Harry. Don't worry. We're sure you'll have a great time at Hogwarts. _We_ did," said Remus, giving a pointed look at the two sheepish Marauders.

**Hagrid helped Harry on to the train that would take him back to the Dursleys, **

"WHAT?! NO! HE IS NOT GOING BACK TH—"

"Quiet, Sirius. Let me read."

**then handed him an envelope. **

"**Yer ticket fer Hogwarts, " he said. "First o' September — King's Cross — it's all on yer ticket. Any problems with the Dursleys, send me a letter with yer owl, she'll know where to find me…. See yeh soon, Harry." **

**The train pulled out of the station. Harry wanted to watch Hagrid until he was out of sight; he rose in his seat and pressed his nose against the window, but he blinked and Hagrid had gone.**

"Can Hagrid Apparate?" asked James.

"No. I'm sure he can't. He never learned," said Lily sourly.

"You mean he never got a chance to learn." Growled Sirius.

Remus yawned. "Alright everyone—" he yawned again. "— tomorrow's Sunday. We'll have a whole day to read. But for now, let's hit the hay."

"Agreed," yawned Padfoot.

"_Good night, all. I suggest taking the book with you though. I can speak to you (and you only) whenever you have the book around."_ Said Cindy, yawning as well.

Remus nodded, and scooped up the book from the sofa.

Lily took Harry with her to the Head Girl/Boy quarters with James trailing behind.

They walked in silence for a while, James occasionally checking the Marauder's Map to make sure that Filch/Mrs. Norris or a teacher wasn't going to come walking 'round the corner. (Remus and Sirius had taken the Invisibility Cloak towards the Gryffindor Tower)

Suddenly Lily broke the silence.

"… It's not fair." She whispered, shifting Harry so he was positioned more comfortably against her chest.

James glanced at her from the corner of his eye and said, "What isn't fair?"

Lily said, eyes glistening from the light from James's wand, "_Why_ do we have to _die_? Why can't we just spend our lives happily with Harry? Why does he have to be subjected to-to a horrible childhood—no, he didn't even _have_ a childhood. Why? _Why_, dammit?"

They walked in silence for a little while, and stopped in front of the Head Boy/Girl dormitories.

James finally spoke, "So Harry could live."

He then walked through the portrait door after saying the password ("Carrot Cake") in silence, leaving Lily behind with Harry.

Lily looked down at the sleeping face of her future baby and said, "Yes… so he could live."

She walked through the portrait door, closing it behind her, to go to sleep.

*

**Cindy: HOT DAMN, I FINISHED! WHOO!**

**Sirius: My God, Cindy. It took you forever to get this one out.**

**James: I concur!**

**Lily: Why'd you take so long?**

**Remus: Yeah! We practically starved to death in there!**

**Cindy: *sniff* You haven't felt the damn heat here in the good ol' US of A! I melted! I freaking MELTED!**

**Sirius: Yeesh, alright, alright!**

**Cindy: DAMN STRAIGHT, SIRIUS! *turns to audience* Please review! Oh, and every fave-ing **_**without**_** a review makes me sad. So. *clears throat. REVIEW, DAMMIT! MAKE ME HAPPY! :D**

**Remus: … you've gone insane.**

**Cindy: I know… oh, and I've decided not to do the reviewing answering thing. 8D It takes too much time.**

**James: No, you're just being la—**

**Cindy: WELL! GOODBYE!**


	6. Journey from Platform 9 and 3 quarters

"**Yes people, this is chapter six. I do not own the HP characters, and neither do I own the MWPP or Potterverse. Please do not sue me!" said Cindy, before starting the fic…**

"… **aaaand before I start this fic, I'm supposed to tell you that I will BE in this fic… for how long… who knows?" she said, and FINALLY started the fic. (Geez)**

*

Sirius and Remus stumbled into the Head Boy/Girl dorms, yawning.

"Alright people… let's… read… next… chapter…" slurred Remus, eyes drooping.

James grinned, "Yeesh, Remus, this's the most I've ever seen you tired…" _'except after the full moon'_ went unsaid.

Sirius snorted, "He was up half the night reading about Time Magic."

"Yeah, well good luck to _that_," said an Asian girl lounging lazily on a couch, her arms and legs spread-eagled all over the damn thing.

"GAAH!" yelped James, who was sitting on the arm of that couch.

"Who're _you_?" gasped Lily, eyes narrowing as she held Harry protectively to her chest.

"Yeesh, talk about tes-_ty_," said the girl, doing a mock hurt face. "Anyways, don't you recognize my voice?"

"… Cindy…?" said Remus tentatively.

"Right-o, Remus, ol' boy!" grinned Cindy, and she tackle-glomped Remus.

"W-What are you doing here?" said Lily incredulously, as she held Harry in her arms.

Cindy glanced at Lily from her position on the floor. (She was sitting on a sighing Remus) "Huh? Oh, yeah, well I found a loophole, Lily!" cheered Cindy, then she said, "Day two," while pointing at Baby Harry.

"Oh, hey! That reminds me!" she said, walking past a bewildered James towards the very couch she left. Beaming at their confused faces, she tugged on an invisible sheet (Invisibility Cloak, much?) to reveal the someone underneath.

"Hey wha—GOOD GOD, HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE JAMES!" shouted Sirius.

"Voila!" said Cindy, bowing towards the shocked and amazed Marauders (and Lily).

They (minus Cindy) stared at the carbon-copy of one James Potter.

"Yeesh, Cindy. When you do something, you don't do it by halves, do you?" said Harry James Potter.

*

"Whoa. Wait. So… you're saying this is my seventeen year-old son… from the future?" said Lily, staring at the twin ('cept for the scar and eyes) of her boyfriend as they compared heights ("Ha! I'm _taller_ than you, James!" "Shut up, Harry.").

Cindy sighed, rolled her eyes, and gave a 'now-I-know-how-you-feel-all-the-time' look to Remus. "Yes, for the last time, he. Is. Your. Son."

Lily spluttered, "Wait… so you're sure that this is m—"

Cindy grabbed Remus's wand ("Hey!") and placed a Silencing Charm so she wouldn't wake up Harry, then practically screamed, "_YES_ GODDAMIT! WHAT THE BLOODY _FUCK_ DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO _UNDERSTAND_ THAT THIS IS YOUR BLOODY _SON_? DO YOU _WANT_ ME TO CONDUCT DNA TESTS?! DO YOU _WANT_ ME TO GET HIM UNDER VERITASERUM? DO YOU _WANT_ ME TO OPEN UP HIS HEAD WITH _LEGILIMENCY_ AND SHOW YOU _MEMORIES_? HE. IS. HARRY. _BLOODY_. JAMES. _FUCKING_. POTTER, _DAMMIT_! WHY ARE YOU SO _HESITANT_ TO _SEE_ THAT?!"

Cindy took a deep breath and glared at Lily, handing back a shocked Remus his wand.

"Now. You are _going_ to accept this is your son, you are _going_ to have a tearful meeting, and you _WILL_ haul your ass over to the Room of Requirement and _READ_ THE DAMN _BOOK_! DO I MAKE MYSELF _CLEAR_?"

"Y-Yes, Ma'am!" saluted Sirius.

Cindy brightened up considerably and said, "Great! Now, right now, you guys've got to make a choice! Harry? Er… Older Harry?"

Harry (Older) rolled his eyes and said, "You've got to decide whether I stay and the baby me goes, the baby me stays and I go, or… yeah. That's it."

"So… we have t-to choose?" squeaked Lily.

"Yes." Said Harry.

James turned to Cindy and opened his mouth, but Cindy cut him off. "No, I'm not going to let you keep both of them here."

"Damn."

Harry yawned, and smacked his lips. "Damn you, Cindy. Waking me up at 5 in the morning…"

"Hey, _you_ were the one who told me to wake you up at _four_! I was being _nice_!" protested Cindy, smacking Harry on the head.

"What is it with you women and smacking people on the head?" demanded Sirius.

"It's a girl thing," replied Lily, sharing a knowing look with Cindy.

"Um… hello? Choice to be made here?" said Remus.

"Oh! Yeah… well I vote for older Harry to stay!" said Sirius, ruffling Harry's hair ("Hey! Stop that!").

"As do I," seconded Remus, raising his hand.

"But… what about Harry? Er, Little Harry?" said James, pointing to Mr. Adorable.

"Yeah! I don't want to lose my baby right after I met him!" said a despairing Lily.

Cindy inspected her fingernails, uncaring to the argument going on around her.

"But Older Harry can at least talk to us!"

"No way, Pads! Baby Harry's too innocent to let go!"

"I second that notion!"

"Now, now, children, let's all just behave…"

"SHUT UP, MOONY/REMUS!"

"You guys do know that you've got…" Cindy checked her Magi-Watch. "… 35 more seconds?"

"Shit, really?" said Sirius.

"Language!" said Lily automatically, then said, "b-but… I need more time!"

"30… 29… 28… 27…"

"ALRIGHT, CINDY! WE'LL CHOOSE!" shouted James.

"… 24… 23… 22…"

"Older Harry!" said Sirius, grinning as he put O.H. into a headlock ("Leggo, leggo of me dammit!").

"… 20… 19… 18…"

"Older," said Remus, sitting down nonchalantly as he picked up his book on Time Magic.

"… 15… 14… 13…"

"Young—Old—Baby—Seventeen—ARGH! FINE! OLDER HARRY!" said James, exasperatedly, throwing up his hands.

"… 9… 8… 7…"

"B-But…"

"6… 5…"

"Oh-Oh! How can I choose?"

"… 3… 2…"

"FINE! OLDER!" said Lily, sobbing as she held baby Harry to her chest.

"… 1," Cindy got up, and walked over to a near-hysterical Lily.

"I'm sorry Lily, but we've got to follow the rules," said Cindy quietly.

Lily gave a shuddering breath, kissed baby Harry on the forehead, stared at him hard to ingrain every feature of her future-child… then handed him over to Cindy.

Cindy placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "I will bring him back at the end, Lily."

She disappeared in a bright flash of white-blue light.

Harry (A/N: YES THE OLDER ONE, DAMMIT! THANK GOD! 8D) had released himself from Sirius (albeit with the threat of castration) and said, "Well… this is an awkward moment."

"…" James sat down next to Lily, and rubbed her between her shoulders.

Suddenly the sound of deep breathing made everyone look at Remus. He was sleeping.

"Of all the times…" muttered Sirius, walking over to Remus.

James said, "Oi, don't wake him up, it's almost the—" James stopped, and went white in the face.

"Oh don't worry. I know about his—" Harry made air quotes. "—'furry little problem'."

"Wait, what? How?" asked Sirius.

"Two words. Year. Three."

"Ah."

Everyone stared at the sleeping Remus. Then Lily spoke, "So… do we wait for him to wake up or…?"

With a _POP!_ Cindy reappeared in a flash of blue-and-white light.

"'Sup, all?" she said, brushing off some unidentifiable substance. Then she noticed the sleeping Remus. "OMG SQUEE!" She beamed, and took out a camera.

"Um… Cindy? Stalker much?" said Harry, inspecting the Time-Magic text.

Cindy blinked, grinned sheepishly, and made the camera disappear with another _POP!_

"Alright people, no more stalling. Let's all haul ass—oh, shut up, Lily. You swear too—to the Room of Requirement and read ol' Chapter Six!" said Cindy.

"What about Moony?" said James, pointing to the snoozing werewolf.

"Umm… I got it!" Cindy walked over to Sirius and dragged him over to Remus. "Pick him up."

"What?" said Sirius.

"Pick. Him. Up. Piggyback!" said Cindy brightly.

Harry snorted, grinning. "_Yeah_, Sirius. Pick him up."

Lily cleared her throat, grinning. "Yes, yes. Hurry up! We've got a schedule to keep."

"But why can't _James_ do it?" whined Sirius.

"Because I, unlike _you_, have a _girlfriend_, and therefore _needs_ his _dignity_," said James smugly.

Sirius sighed. "Wait! Don't we have _wands_? Why can't we use _them_?"

Cindy grinned, and jumped Sirius.

"AAH!" shouted Sirius, as Cindy crashed into him.

Cindy rummaged in the flailing Sirius's pocket and took out his wand. Then she got up. "There. Now you _have_ to pick him up."

Amazingly, Remus was still sleeping as this occurred.

Grumbling, Sirius walked over to Remus. Shooting a Death Glare™ at the rest of them (Cindy waved cheekily), he picked up Remus.

"Alright people. Let's move."

*

"Now that we're all here and Remus is—still—sleeping, let's begin with the reading, shall we?" said Cindy, beaming.

"Oh! Yeah, Cindy, I've been meaning to ask you; can they come here too?" asked Harry.

"Oh, NOW you ask me?" demanded Cindy, but she sighed resignedly, and snapped her fingers. With the tell-tale _POP!_ and flash of bright white-and-blue light, a bushy-haired girl, a girl with flaming red hair and freckles and a boy with red hair and freckles appeared.

"Ah, so this is what Harry meant," said the bushy-haired girl.

"Bloody hell, mate! He looks just like you!" said the red-haired boy, pointing at Harry and James.

Harry stood up and walked over to the new arrivals, putting an arm over both of the girls' shoulders. "Ladies and Gents, this is Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Ron Weasley, my best mates and practically family."

"Pleased to meet you Marauders and Lily!" said Hermione brightly.

"Oh-ho-ho George is going to be _so_ jealous…" said Ron, although his smile seemed a little forced when he mentioned George's name.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Mr. Black. Mr… Lupin…? Is he…? Whatever. Who's this?" said Ginny.

"Cindy's the name, and don't forget it." Said Cindy, puffing out her not-very-developed chest.

"I see… third year?" asked Ginny.

"Yup," beamed Cindy.

To cover the awkward silence, Cindy said loudly, "WELL! Let's get on with the reading, shall we?" She picked up the book, and jumped, smacking her forehead. "GREAT GATSBY! I forgot! Alright, people. Here's how the order of reading'll go. Me, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, James, Sirius, Lily, and then Remus. Alright?"

Everyone nodded.

"Then let's get this show on the road!"

**CHAPTER SIX **

**THE JOURNEY FROM PLATFORM NINE AND **

**THREE QUARTERS **

Remus suddenly woke up. Blinking slowly, he saw two unknown people sitting on the couch opposite him.

"Um… who—"

"Hermione Granger."

"Ron Weasley."

"Ginny Weasley."

"Ah." Remus nodded, and plunked his head back on the armrest of the couch.

**Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, **

"Wait, wait, wait. Cupboard?" said Ron, astonished.

Hermione looked affronted. "You lived in a cupboard, Harry? WHY HOW DARE THEY! _WHY_ I OUGHTA—"

"Calm down, guys. It's okay," said Harry.

"No it blooming isn't okay, Harry! How dare you say such a thing?" demanded Lily.

Ginny merely looked livid—Harry had told her this quite some time ago.

"Told you you swore, Lily," said a smug Cindy.

**force him to do anything, or shout at him — in fact, they didn't speak to him at all. Half terrified, half furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it were empty. Although this was an improvement in many ways, it did become a bit depressing after a while. **

"What? Why?" asked Ron.

"It's kind of sad to have your very presence ignored," said Harry.

**Harry kept to his room, with his new owl for company. He had decided to call her Hedwig, a name he had found in **_**A History of Magic**_**. **

"A good name for a great owl," said Harry proudly. (He was still hurting for her loss.)

**His school books were very interesting. He lay on his bed reading late into the night, Hedwig swooping in and out of the open window as she pleased. It was lucky that Aunt Petunia didn't come in to vacuum anymore, because Hedwig kept bringing back dead mice. Every night before he went to sleep, Harry ticked off another day on the piece of paper he had pinned to the wall, counting down to September the first. **

**On the last day of August he thought he'd better speak to his aunt and uncle about getting to King's Cross station the next day, so he went down to the living room where they were watching a quiz show on television. He cleared his throat to let them know he was there, and Dudley screamed and ran from the room. **

"**Er — Uncle Vernon?" **

**Uncle Vernon grunted to show he was listening. **

Everyone frowned (minus Harry and Cindy).

"**Er — I need to be at King's Cross tomorrow to — to go to Hogwarts." **

**Uncle Vernon grunted again. **

"**Would it be all right if you gave me a lift?" **

**Grunt. Harry supposed that meant yes. **

"I speak fluent Dursley-ish," grinned Harry.

"**Thank you." **

**He was about to go back upstairs when Uncle Vernon actually spoke. **

"**Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?" **

James, Sirius, and Cindy all shook their heads.

"That was a sad, _sad_, attempt for a joke," said Cindy.

**Harry didn't say anything. **

"**Where is this school, anyway?" **

"**I don't know," said Harry, realizing this for the first time. He pulled the ticket Hagrid had given him out of his pocket. **

"'Tis in ye Olde Scotland!" said Sirius in a Scottish accent.

Everyone laughed.

"**I just take the train from platform nine and three-quarters at eleven o'clock," he read. **

**His aunt and uncle stared. **

"**Platform what?" **

"**Nine and three-quarters." **

"NINE—AND—THREE—QUAR—TERS—DUMBASS," said Ginny slowly.

The Marauders, Lily, Cindy, Harry, and Ron all snorted simultaneously.

"**Don't talk rubbish," said Uncle Vernon. "There is no platform nine and three-quarters." **

"**It's on my ticket." **

"**Barking," said Uncle Vernon, "howling mad, the lot of them. You'll see. You just wait. All right, we'll take you to King's Cross. We're going up to London tomorrow anyway, or I wouldn't bother." **

Everyone stared at Harry. "… what?"

"You lived with that ungrateful son of a _shit_ for your entire childhood," said Ginny.

Lily did not reprimand her language.

"Um… yeah…?"

"And you yourself are not a git… how?" said Sirius.

"Same reason you're not a git," said Harry. "Oh wait, never mind."

Sirius pouted as everyone else laughed.

"**Why are you going to London?" Harry asked, trying to keep things friendly. **

"**Taking Dudley to the hospital," growled Uncle Vernon. "Got to have that ruddy tail removed before he goes to Smeltings." **

Everyone rolled their eyes.

**Harry woke at five o'clock the next morning and was too excited and nervous to go back to sleep. He got up and pulled on his jeans because he didn't want to walk into the station in his wizard's robes — he'd change on the train. **

"Yeah, it _would_ be weird to walk inside ol' King's Cross wearing—_ugh_—wizard's robes," shuddered Cindy.

"What's wrong with wizard's robes?" demanded James.

"Well they sure ain't nice like T-shirts and jeans," retorted Cindy.

"T-shirts? _Jeans_?" asked Sirius curiously.

Hermione, Harry, Cindy, and Lily all rolled their eyes.

"Nevermind. Keep reading, please, Cindy," said Lily.

**He checked his Hogwarts list yet again to make sure he had everything he needed, saw that Hedwig was shut safely in her cage, and then paced the room, waiting for the Dursleys to get up. Two hours later, Harry's huge, heavy trunk had been loaded into the Dursleys' car, Aunt Petunia had talked Dudley into sitting next to Harry, and they had set off. **

**They reached King's Cross at half past ten. Uncle Vernon dumped Harry's trunk onto a cart and wheeled it into the station for him. Harry thought this was strangely kind until Uncle Vernon stopped dead, facing the platforms with a nasty grin on his face. **

"Oh no," said Sirius.

"What?" said James.

"I'm going to go to Azkaban," moaned Sirius. (Everyone who knew what happened in Harry's third year winced)

"Um… why?" asked Remus.

"Because I'm eventually going to _snap_ while reading this and _murder_ Vernon Dursley," grinned Sirius.

Everyone laughed.

"**Well, there you are, boy. Platform nine — platform ten. Your platform should be somewhere in the middle, but they don't seem to have built it yet, do they?" **

**He was quite right, of course. There was a big plastic number nine over one platform and a big plastic number ten over the one next to it, and in the middle, nothing at all. **

"Coughitsinvisiblecough," coughed Ron.

"**Have a good term," said Uncle Vernon with an even nastier smile. He left without another word. Harry turned and saw the Dursleys drive away. All three of them were laughing. Harry's mouth went rather dry. What on earth was he going to do? He was starting to attract a lot of funny looks, because of Hedwig. He'd have to ask someone. **

Ron and Ginny smiled.

**He stopped a passing guard, but didn't dare mention platform nine and three-quarters. The guard had never heard of Hogwarts and when Harry couldn't even tell him what part of the country it was in, he started to get annoyed, as though Harry was being stupid on purpose. **

James and Lily's eyes were twitching by this point.

**Getting desperate, Harry asked for the train that left at eleven o'clock, but the guard said there wasn't one. In the end the guard strode away, muttering about time wasters. Harry was now trying hard not to panic. According to the large clock over the arrivals board, he had ten minutes left to get on the train to Hogwarts and he had no idea how to do it; he was stranded in the middle of a station with a trunk he could hardly lift, a pocket full of wizard money, and a large owl. **

**Hagrid must have forgotten to tell him something you had to do, like tapping the third brick on the left to get into Diagon Alley. He wondered if he should get out his wand and start tapping the ticket inspector's stand between platforms nine and ten. **

**At that moment a group of people passed just behind him and he caught a few words of what they were saying. **

"— **packed with Muggles, of course —" **

**Harry swung round. The speaker was a plump woman who was talking to four boys, all with flaming red hair. Each of them was pushing a trunk like Harry's in front of him — and they had an **_**owl**_**. **

**Heart hammering, Harry pushed his cart after them. They stopped and so did he, just near enough to hear what they were saying. **

"**Now, what's the platform number?" said the boys' mother. **

"**Nine and three-quarters!" piped a small girl, also red-headed, who was holding her hand, "Mom, can't I go…" **

"CoughGinnycough," said Harry.

"**You're not old enough, Ginny, now be quiet. All right, Percy, you go first." **

The Marauders and Lily looked at Ron and Ginny. Could it be…?

**What looked like the oldest boy marched toward platforms nine and ten. Harry watched, careful not to blink in case he missed it — but just as the boy reached the dividing barrier between the two platforms, a large crowd of tourists came swarming in front of him and by the time the last backpack had cleared away, the boy had vanished. **

The future kids—minus Cindy—sighed and rolled their eyes.

"You always have such _great_ luck," muttered Ginny.

Harry just smirked.

"**Fred, you next," the plump woman said. **

"**I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you **_**tell **_**I'm George?" **

The future kids' (Cindy too this time) smiles looked oddly plastic.

"**Sorry, George, dear." **

"**Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy, and off he went. His twin called after him to hurry up, and he must have done so, because a second later, he had gone — but how had he done it? **

**Now the third brother was walking briskly toward the barrier he was almost there — and then, quite suddenly, he wasn't anywhere. **

**There was nothing else for it. **

"_RUN_, HARRY! _RUN_ LIKE THE HOUNDS OF HELL ARE AFTER YOU!" shouted James.

"I resent that," muttered Sirius, glaring at James who smiled innocently back.

"**Excuse me," Harry said to the plump woman. **

"**Hello, dear," she said. "First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too." **

Harry beamed at Ron.

**She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose. **

"Yup, that's Ron to a 'T'," smirked Ginny.

"I am offended, Ginny. Very offended," but Ron was smiling.

"**Yes," said Harry. "The thing is — the thing is, I don't know how to —" **

"**How to get onto the platform?" she said kindly, and Harry nodded. **

"I like your mom. She's real nice… and she cooks _really_ well," said Harry.

Everyone laughed.

"**Not to worry," she said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron." **

"**Er — okay," said Harry. **

**He pushed his trolley around and stared at the barrier. It looked very solid. **

"No dur, Sherlock," said Cindy.

"Sher… lock…?" asked Ron.

"Muggle book character. You wouldn't understand," said Hermione.

**He started to walk toward it. People jostled him on their way to platforms nine and ten. Harry walked more quickly. He was going to smash right into that barrier and then he'd be in trouble — leaning forward on his cart, he broke into a heavy run — the barrier was coming nearer and nearer — he wouldn't be able to stop — the cart was out of control — he was a foot away — he closed his eyes ready for the crash — **

"Told you," said James smugly.

**It didn't come…he kept on running…he opened his eyes. A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said **_**Hogwarts' Express, eleven o'clock**_**. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words **_**Platform Nine and Three-Quarters **_**on it, He had done it. **

"You make it sound like an accomplishment, Harry," said Lily, grinning.

**Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks. **

**The first few carriages were already packed with students, some hanging out of the window to talk to their families, some fighting over seats. Harry pushed his cart off down the platform in search of an empty seat. He passed a round-faced boy who was saying, "Gran, I've lost my toad again." **

"**Oh, **_**Neville**_**," he heard the old woman sigh. **

"Ah yes, the fabled 'Lost Toad'," snorted Ginny.

**A boy with dreadlocks was surrounded by a small crowd. **

"**Give us a look, Lee, go on." **

**The boy lifted the lid of a box in his arms, and the people around him shrieked and yelled as something inside poked out a long, hairy leg. **

"… I don't even want to know," said Sirius.

**Harry pressed on through the crowd until he found an empty compartment near the end of the train. He put Hedwig inside first and then started to shove and heave his trunk toward the train door. He tried to lift it up the steps but could hardly raise one end and twice he dropped it painfully on his foot. **

"**Want a hand?" It was one of the red-haired twins he'd followed through the barrier. **

"**Yes, please," Harry panted. **

"**Oi, Fred! C'mere and help!" **

**With the twins' help, Harry's trunk was at last tucked away in a corner of the compartment. **

"**Thanks," said Harry, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes. **

"**What's that?" said one of the twins suddenly, pointing at Harry's lightning scar. **

"**Blimey," said the other twin. "Are you —?" **

"**He is," said the first twin. "Aren't you?" he added to Harry. **

"**What?" said Harry. **

"_**Harry Potter**_**." chorused the twins. **

"That got annoying after the first… oh, fifty times the first day," muttered Harry.

Remus held out his hand.

A grumbling Sirius put some Galleons into his hand.

Cindy grinned, "The Harry Potter books: Making Remus richer, one chapter at a time."[1]

"**Oh, him," said Harry. "I mean, yes, I am." **

**The two boys gawked at him, and Harry felt himself turning red. Then, to his relief, a voice came floating in through the train's open door. **

"Sorry mate," said Ron, shifting uncomfortably.

"S'okay," smirked Harry.

"**Fred? George? Are you there?" **

"**Coming, Mom." **

**With a last look at Harry, the twins hopped off the train. **

**Harry sat down next to the window where, half hidden, he could watch the red-haired family on the platform and hear what they were saying. Their mother had just taken out her handkerchief. **

"**Ron, you've got something on your nose." **

**The youngest boy tried to jerk out of the way, but she grabbed him and began rubbing the end of his nose. **

"_**Mom**_**— geroff" He wriggled free. **

"**Aaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nosie?" said one of the twins. **

James and Sirius grinned.

"**Shut up," said Ron. **

"**Where's Percy?" said their mother. **

"**He's coming now." **

**The oldest boy came striding into sight. He had already changed into his billowing black Hogwarts robes, and Harry noticed a red and gold badge on his chest with the letter **_**P **_**on it. **

"Percy the Prat?" giggled Ginny.

"**Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves —" **

"**Oh, are you a **_**prefect**_**, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. "You should have said something, we had no idea." **

"**Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. "Once —" **

"**Or twice —" **

"**A minute —" **

"**All summer —" **

"James?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"I think we've got ourselves the next generation of Marauders."

"Indeed. What say you, Remus?"

"If these two are anything like you guys… then yes."

"**Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect. **

Suddenly Cindy burst into laughter.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"P.P.! FOR PERCY THE PREFECT! P.P.!" chortled Cindy.

Silence, then: "OH MY GOSH, HOW DID WE NOT SEE THAT JAMES?!" "I HAVE NO CLUE, MY GOOD FRIEND!"

The sounds of laughter permeated the room.

"**How come Percy gets new robes, anyway?" said one of the twins. **

"**Because he's a **_**prefect**_**," said their mother fondly. "All right, dear, well, have a good term — send me an owl when you get there." **

**She kissed Percy on the cheek and he left. Then she turned to the twins. **

"**Now, you two — this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've — you've blown up a toilet or —" **

"**Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." **

"**Great idea though, thanks, Mom." **

"Oh yes, these two are _exactly_ like the both of you," said Remus.

"**It's **_**not funny**_**. And look after Ron." **

"**Don't worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us." **

"**Shut up," said Ron again. He was almost as tall as the twins already and his nose was still pink where his mother had rubbed it. **

"Creepy that was," said Harry, shaking his head.

Ron scoffed.

"**Hey, Mom, guess what? Guess who we just met on the train?" **

**Harry leaned back quickly so they couldn't see him looking. **

"**You know that black-haired boy who was near us in the station? Know who he is?" **

"**Who?" **

"_**Harry Potter**_**!" **

**Harry heard the little girl's voice. **

"**Oh, Mom, can I go on the train and see him, Mom, eh please…" **

"You make me sound like an animal at the zoo," said Harry, glaring at Ginny.

Ginny grinned sheepishly.

"**You've already seen him, Ginny, and the poor boy isn't something you goggle at in a zoo. Is he really, Fred? How do you know?" **

"Whoa," said Harry.

Everyone laughed.

"**Asked him. Saw his scar. It's really there — like lightning." **

"**Poor **_**dear **_**— no wonder he was alone, I wondered. He was ever so polite when he asked how to get onto the platform." **

"Amazing manners he has," said Hermione, poking Harry.

"Hey! Stop that!" but he was smiling anyways.

"**Never mind that, do you think he remembers what You-Know-Who looks like?" **

Harry frowned, "Well no, but I remember his laugh."

"If you can _call_ it a laugh," muttered Lily.

**Their mother suddenly became very stern. **

"**I forbid you to ask him, Fred. No, don't you dare. As though he needs reminding of that on his first day at school." **

"**All right, keep your hair on." **

Everyone's mouth quirked up.

**A whistle sounded. **

"**Hurry up!" their mother said, and the three boys clambered onto the train. They leaned out of the window for her to kiss them good-bye, and their younger sister began to cry. **

"**Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls." **

"**We'll send you a Hogwarts' toilet seat." **

"Oh yes. _Exactly_ like you."

"I think we actually sent a toilet seat home to your _mum_ once, right Sirius?"

"Oh yeah."

"Then you BOTH got _Howlers_."

"Shut up, Remus."

"_**George!**_**" **

"**Only joking, Mom." **

**The train began to move. Harry saw the boys' mother waving and their sister, half laughing, half crying, running to keep up with the train until it gathered too much speed, then she fell back and waved. **

**Harry watched the girl and her mother disappear as the train rounded the corner. Houses flashed past the window. Harry felt a great leap of excitement. He didn't know what he was going to — but it had to be better than what he was leaving behind. **

"Please, anything's better than what you left behind," sighed Sirius.

"Not everything…" muttered Harry quietly so that only he could hear it.

**The door of the compartment slid open and the youngest redheaded boy came in. **

"**Anyone sitting there?" he asked, pointing at the seat opposite Harry. "Everywhere else is full." **

**Harry shook his head and the boy sat down. He glanced at Harry and then looked quickly out of the window, pretending he hadn't looked. Harry saw he still had a black mark on his nose. **

"And so it begins!" shouted Harry.

Hermione and Ron laughed.

"What?" asked Ginny.

"Well, if Ron had never sat with me in that compartment, we would probably never have met, and the G.T. would never have formed," explained Harry.

"Ah," said Ginny.

"Wait, what? The G.T.?" said Remus curiously.

"Stands for the Golden Trio. People started to call us that sometime during our third year," explained Ron.

"Really? I never knew that!" exclaimed Hermione.

"OH NO! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! RON KNOWS SOMETHING HERMIONE DOESN'T!" cried Harry dramatically.

Hermione smacked him as everyone else laughed.

"**Hey, Ron." **

**The twins were back. **

"**Listen, we're going down the middle of the train — Lee Jordan's got a giant tarantula down there." **

"**Right," mumbled Ron. **

"**Harry," said the other twin, "did we introduce ourselves? Fred and George Weasley. And this is Ron, our brother. See you later, then." **

"**Bye," said Harry and Ron. The twins slid the compartment door shut behind them. **

"**Are you really Harry Potter?" Ron blurted out. **

"Subtle, much?" said Cindy, smirking.

Ron blushed.

**Harry nodded. **

"**Oh — well, I thought it might be one of Fred and George's jokes," said Ron. "And have you really got — you know…" **

**He pointed at Harry's forehead. **

**Harry pulled back his bangs to show the lightning scar. Ron stared. **

"**So that's where You-Know-Who —?" **

"**Yes," said Harry, "but I can't remember it." **

"**Nothing?" said Ron eagerly. **

"Annoyed me that did," said Harry, making a face.

"Sorry, mate," said Ron.

"**Well — I remember a lot of green light, but nothing else." **

"**Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at Harry for a few moments, then, as though he had suddenly realized what he was doing, he looked quickly out of the window again. **

"**Are all your family wizards?" asked Harry, who found Ron just as interesting as Ron found him. **

"**Er — Yes, I think so," said Ron. "I think Mom's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him." **

"**So you must know loads of magic already." **

**The Weasleys were clearly one of those old wizarding families the pale boy in Diagon Alley had talked about. **

Ron and Ginny scoffed, looking highly offended.

"Hey, cut me some slack. I was new to this whole thing!" said Harry sheepishly.

"**I heard you went to live with Muggles," said Ron. "What are they like?" **

"**Horrible — well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers." **

Everyone sobered up.

"**Five," said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy. "I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left — Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good marks and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat." **

"… Damn…" whispered Sirius, eyes wide.

"You said it, Sirius. Damn…" echoed James.

"…" gaped Remus.

"… Oh. My. Gosh," said Lily.

The future kids (A/N: when I say 'future kids' I mean me too) all grinned.

**Ron reached inside his jacket and pulled out a fat gray rat, which was asleep. **

Remus grinned, "Ha! That could be Peter!"

The future kids had to refrain from staring at Remus, and Cindy coughed before reading.

"**His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't aff — I mean, I got Scabbers instead." **

**Ron's ears went pink. He seemed to think he'd said too much, because he went back to staring out of the window. **

Lily frowned. "There's nothing wrong with being unable to afford an owl!"

Harry gaped at Lily.

**Harry didn't think there was anything wrong with not being able to afford an owl. **

Lily stared.

"Damn!" said Sirius. "You're _both_ like Harry!"

Everyone snickered.

**After all, he'd never had any money in his life until a month ago, and he told Ron so, all about having to wear Dudley's old clothes and never getting proper birthday presents. This seemed to cheer Ron up. **

The people from the past (present?) glared at Ron.

"What?" said Ron, squirming.

"You enjoy the misery of others?" glared James.

"Uh—n-no… it's just… I thought… um… I'm going to shut up now," muttered Ron.

"…**and until Hagrid told me, I didn't know anything about being a wizard or about my parents or Voldemort —" **

**Ron gasped. **

"**What?" said Harry. **

"_**You said You-Know-Who's name!**_**" said Ron, sounding both shocked and impressed. **

Everyone but Ron looked at Ron exasperatedly.

"What?" grinned Ron sheepishly.

"Note: Ron will do this multiple times over this book, causing me much grief," said Harry solemnly.

Ron punched him in the arm.

"**I'd have thought you, of all people —" **

"**I'm not trying to be **_**brave **_**or anything, saying the name," said Harry, "I just never knew you shouldn't. See what I mean? I've got loads to learn…I bet," he added, voicing for the first time something that had been worrying him a lot lately, "I bet I'm the worst in the class." **

The future kids sighed and looked at Harry, who was smiling.

"Hey, you can't blame me!" he grinned.

"Says the man who beat Hermione in DADA…" muttered Ron so only the future kids could hear him.

Harry grinned.

"**You won't be. There's loads of people who come from Muggle families and they learn quick enough." **

"CoughHermioneGrangercough," coughed Ginny.

Hermione blushed.

**While they had been talking, the train had carried them out of London. Now they were speeding past fields full of cows and sheep. They were quiet for a time, watching the fields and lanes flick past. **

**Around half past twelve there was a great clattering outside in the corridor and a smiling, dimpled woman slid back their door and said, "Anything off the cart, dears?" **

"Sirius cleaned out the _whole_ trolley once," grinned James.

"Let it be known that one Sirius Black will _never_ eat the whole trolley because of a stupid _dare_," said Sirius, glaring at Remus who looked the picture of innocence.

"It was _you_ who decided to play Truth or Dare. It was just… _coincidence_ that the trolley came by at that very moment," said Remus calmly, although his mouth was twitching.

**Harry, who hadn't had any breakfast, leapt to his feet, but Ron's ears went pink again and he muttered that he'd brought sandwiches. Harry went out into the corridor. **

**He had never had any money for candy with the Dursleys, and now that he had pockets rattling with gold and silver he was ready to buy as many Mars Bars as he could carry — but the woman didn't have Mars Bars. What she did have were Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs. Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, and a number of other strange things Harry had never seen in his life. Not wanting to miss anything, he got some of everything and paid the woman eleven silver Sickles and seven bronze Knuts. **

"Following in the steps of Sirius, eh?" said James.

Lily smacked him.

**Ron stared as Harry brought it all back in to the compartment and tipped it onto an empty seat. **

"**Hungry, are you?" **

"**Starving," said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty. **

Everyone (minus Harry) growled at the Dursleys.

[Petunia and Vernon]

"Petty, do you feel… somewhat… in _danger_ somehow?" muttered Vernon nervously.

"Oh Vernon… it's probably nothing, darling. Let's just go to the theatre and watch the movie already. I don't like this feeling," squeaked Petunia.

"Alright then," said Vernon, walking towards the theatre, not knowing that there were very mad witches and wizards after their blood.

**Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were four sandwiches inside. He pulled one of them apart and said, "She always forgets I don't like corned beef." **

"**Swap you for one of these," said Harry, holding up a pasty. "Go on —" **

"**You don't want this, it's all dry," said Ron. "She hasn't got much time," he added quickly, "you know, with five of us." **

"**Go on, have a pasty," said Harry, who had never had anything to share before or, indeed, anyone to share it with. It was a nice feeling, sitting there with Ron, eating their way through all Harry's pasties, cakes, and candies (the sandwiches lay forgotten). **

"We never _did_ find out where those sandwiches went…" mused Harry.

Everyone rolled their eyes, but were smiling all the same.

"**What are these?" Harry asked Ron, holding up a pack of Chocolate Frogs. "They're not **_**really **_**frogs, are they?" He was starting to feel that nothing would surprise him. **

"You try being thrown into a world where it seems everything is possible with the flick of a wand. It really makes you change your views on life," sighed Harry.

"**No," said Ron. "But see what the card is. I'm missing Agrippa." **

"**What?" **

"**Oh, of course, you wouldn't know — Chocolate Frogs have cards, inside them, you know, to collect — famous witches and wizards. I've got about five hundred, but I haven't got Agrippa or Ptolemy." **

**Harry unwrapped his Chocolate Frog and picked up the card. It showed a man's face. He wore half-moon glasses, had a long, crooked nose, and flowing silver hair, beard, and mustache. Underneath the picture was the name Albus Dumbledore. **

"**So **_**this **_**is Dumbledore!" said Harry. **

"**Don't tell me you'd never heard of Dumbledore!" said Ron. "Can I have a frog? I might get Agrippa — thanks —" **

"Not his fault he doesn't know who Dumbledore is…" muttered Lily darkly.

**Harry turned over his card and read: **

_**ALBUS DUMBLEDORE **_

_**CURRENTLY HEADMASTER OF HOGWARTS **_

_**Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling. **_

"It was right _there_!" moaned Hermione.

"What was?" asked Remus.

"Oh, nothing…" lied Cindy smoothly. "She was just talking about the research she needed for Grindelwald, you know, interesting facts like the twelve uses for dragon's blood and such."

"Ah, I see," said Remus, satisfied.

Cindy shot a warning look at Hermione who looked down, blushing.

"How do you know how to lie so well? You should be in Slytherin!" muttered Harry.

"The Sorting Hat nearly _put_ me in Slytherin. But like you, I had a choice. I chose _Lions_ over _Snakes_," said Cindy quietly back, with a proud look on her face.

Harry grinned.

"What are you two muttering over there about?" asked Lily curiously.

"We were talking about Hermione's ridiculous amounts of studying and what its effect was on Harry and Ron," lied Cindy, grinning.

Lily laughed.

**Harry turned the card back over and saw, to his astonishment, that Dumbledore's face had disappeared. **

"**He's gone!" **

"**Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day," said Ron. "He'll be back. No, I've got Morgana again and I've got about six of her…do you want it? You can start collecting." **

**Ron's eyes strayed to the pile of Chocolate Frogs waiting to be unwrapped. **

"**Help yourself," said Harry. "But in, you know, the Muggle world, people just stay put in photos." **

"**Do they? What, they don't move at all?" Ron sounded amazed. **_**"Weird!" **_

Harry, Hermione, Lily, and Cindy's eyes all twitched.

Ron looked away, ears red.

**Harry stared as Dumbledore sidled back into the picture on his card and gave him a small smile. Ron was more interested in eating the frogs than looking at the Famous Witches and Wizards cards, but Harry couldn't keep his eyes off them. Soon he had not only Dumbledore and Morgana, but Hengist of Woodcroft, Alberic Grunnion, Circe, Paracelsus, and Merlin. He finally tore his eyes away from the Druidess Cliodna, who was scratching her nose, to open a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. **

"**You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they **_**mean **_**every flavor — you know, you get all the ordinary ones like chocolate and peppermint and marmalade, but then you can get spinach and liver and tripe. George reckons he had a booger-flavored one once." **

Suddenly Remus burst into laughter.

"What?" said Hermione, grinning.

"Ha! I remember the day that Sirius got a dung-flavored one! You should have seen his face!" laughed Remus.

Everyone (minus a furiously blushing Sirius) burst into laughter.

**Ron picked up a green bean, looked at it carefully, and bit into a corner. **

"**Bleaaargh — see? Sprouts." **

**They had a good time eating the Every Flavor Beans. Harry got toast, coconut, baked bean, strawberry, curry, grass, coffee, sardine, and was even brave enough to nibble the end off a funny gray one Ron wouldn't touch, which turned out to be pepper. **

"Lucky…" muttered James.

The future kids shared a knowing smile.

**The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills. **

**There was a knock on the door of their compartment and the round-faced boy Harry had passed on platform nine and three-quarters came in. He looked tearful. **

"**Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?" **

**When they shook their heads, he wailed, "I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!" **

"**He'll turn up," said Harry. **

"**Yes," said the boy miserably. "Well, if you see him…" **

**He left. **

"**Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron. "If I'd brought a toad I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought Scabbers, so I can't talk." **

**The rat was still snoozing on Ron's lap. **

_Yes… _thought Remus, exactly_ like Peter…_

"**He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look…" **

**He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end. **

"**Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway —" **

**He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again. The toadless boy was back, but this time he had a girl with him. She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes. **

"**Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth. **

Everyone glanced at Hermione.

"… I guess I was a nuisance back then, wasn't I?" she said shyly.

"Bossy, know-it-all, annoying… yeah," grinned Ron.

Hermione glared at him… and smacked him. Duh.

"**We've already told him we haven't seen it," said Ron, but the girl wasn't listening, she was looking at the wand in his hand. **

"**Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then." **

**She sat down. Ron looked taken aback. **

"**Er — all right." **

**He cleared his throat. **

"**Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow." **

Everyone (minus the Golden Trio) raised an eyebrow.

"You thought that was a spell?" said Cindy, shaking her head.

"Hey! I was eleven!" protested Ron.

**He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep. **

"**Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard — I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough — I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?" **

**She said all this very fast. **

James, Sirius, Lily, Remus, Cindy, and Ginny all blinked.

**Harry looked at Ron, and was relieved to see by his stunned face that he hadn't learned all the course books by heart either. **

"… By heart?" gasped James.

Sirius shook his head, "Oh the things the world is coming to…"

Remus rolled his eyes. (He was still slightly shocked that she'd memorized the books, of course.)

"**I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered. **

"**Harry Potter," said Harry. **

"**Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course — I got a few extra books, for background reading, and you're in **_**Modern Magical History **_**and **_**The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts **_**and **_**Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century**_**." **

"**Am I?" said Harry, feeling dazed. **

"Sorry," said Hermione.

"S'okay," smiled Harry.

"**Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me," said Hermione. "Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad…Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You two had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon." **

**And she left, taking the toadless boy with her. **

"**Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it," said Ron. He threw his wand back into his trunk. "Stupid spell — George gave it to me, bet he knew it was a dud." **

Hermione glared at Ron.

"**What house are your brothers in?" asked Harry. **

"**Gryffindor," said Ron. Gloom seemed to be settling on him again. "Mom and Dad were in it, too. I don't know what they'll say if I'm not. I don't suppose Ravenclaw **_**would **_**be too bad, but imagine if they put me in Slytherin." **

James and Sirius gasped dramatically.

"OH THE HORROR!" cried James.

"THE TRAVESTY!" shouted Sirius.

Remus gaped, "Did you just say 'traves—"

"_YES_ I SAID IT, GEEZ! _YOU_ TRY LIVING WITH THE HUMAN DICTIONARY FOR _SEVEN_ YEARS AND _NOT_ KNOW SOME LONG WORDS!" shouted Sirius.

Remus blinked.

"**That's the house Vol-, I mean, You-Know-Who was in?" **

Ginny snickered, "The one person who should be the most afraid of Voldemort—" (no one flinched) "—is the least afraid of him!"

Everyone snorted.

"**Yeah," said Ron. He flopped back into his seat, looking depressed. **

"**You know, I think the ends of Scabbers' whiskers are a bit lighter," said Harry, trying to take Ron's mind off houses. "So what do your oldest brothers do now that they've left, anyway?" **

**Harry was wondering what a wizard did once he'd finished school. **

"**Charlie's in Romania studying dragons, and Bill's in Africa doing something for Gringotts," said Ron. "Did you hear about Gringotts? It's been all over the **_**Daily Prophet**_**, but I don't suppose you get that with the Muggles — someone tried to rob a high security vault." **

"You think…?" muttered Remus, thinking back to the Gringott's Vault.

"Oh no, Moony's going into 'research mode'!" cried Sirius dramatically.

Remus socked him in the arm.

**Harry stared. **

"**Really? What happened to them?" **

"**Nothing, that's why it's such big news. They haven't been caught. My dad says it must've been a powerful Dark wizard to get round Gringotts, but they don't think they took anything, that's what's odd. 'Course, everyone gets scared when something like this happens in case You-Know-Who's behind it." **

Cindy rolled her eyes.

**Harry turned this news over in his mind. He was starting to get a prickle of fear every time You-Know-Who was mentioned. He supposed this was all part of entering the magical world, but it had been a lot more comfortable saying "Voldemort" without worrying. **

The girls giggled, and the men grinned.

"Ah, people might think you're insane," Hermione smiled.

"Pur-_lease_. I've already gone so far 'round the bend I can see myself coming," said Harry.

Everyone burst into laughter.

"**What's your Quidditch team?" Ron asked. **

"**Er — I don't know any." Harry confessed. **

James and Sirius fainted dramatically.

"THE _HORROR_!" cried James.

"**What!" Ron looked dumbfounded. "Oh, you wait, it's the best game in the world —" And he was off, explaining all about the four balls and the positions of the seven players, describing famous games he'd been to with his brothers and the broomstick he'd like to get if he had the money. He was just taking Harry through the finer points of the game when the compartment door slid open yet again, but it wasn't Neville the toadless boy, or Hermione Granger this time. **

**Three boys entered, and Harry recognized the middle one at once: it was the pale boy from Madam Malkin's robe shop. He was looking at Harry with a lot more interest than he'd shown back in Diagon Alley. **

"**Is it true?" he said. "They're saying all down the train that Harry Potter's in this compartment. So it's you, is it?" **

"**Yes," said Harry. He was looking at the other boys. Both of them were thickset and looked extremely mean. Standing on either side of the pale boy, they looked like bodyguards. **

"Lucy, Crabby, and G-Oil," smirked Ginny.

"… G-Oil?" chortled Cindy.

"Ah, shut up. You try coming up with a nickname for their dads," pouted Ginny.

"**Oh, this is Crabbe and this is Goyle," said the pale boy carelessly, noticing where Harry was looking. "And my name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." **

**Ron gave a slight cough, which might have been hiding a snigger. Draco Malfoy looked at him. **

"**Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford." **

Everyone glared at the book… which trembled slightly.

Cindy stared. "Whoa."

**He turned back to Harry. "You'll soon find out some wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." **

**He held out his hand to shake Harry's, but Harry didn't take it. **

"**I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks," he said coolly. **

Cindy threw down the book, asked the R.O.R. to conjure up a life-size dummy of Draco Malfoy, pointed at it, and shouted, "YOU JUST GOT _SERVED_!"

Everyone else stared at her for about three seconds, then burst into hysterical laughter.

**Draco Malfoy didn't go red, but a pink tinge appeared in his pale cheeks. **

"**I'd be careful if I were you, Potter," he said slowly. "Unless you're a bit politer you'll go the same way as your parents. They didn't know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it'll rub off on you." **

**Both Harry and Ron stood up. **

"**Say that again," Ron said, his face as red as his hair. **

"Which an accomplishment in itself," said Remus, giving a pointed look to Ron's red hair.

"**Oh, you're going to fight us, are you?" Malfoy sneered. **

"**Unless you get out now," said Harry, more bravely than he felt, because Crabbe and Goyle were a lot bigger than him or Ron. **

"All beef, no brain," said Cindy.

Everyone grinned.

"**But we don't feel like leaving, do we, boys? We've eaten all our food and you still seem to have some." **

**Goyle reached toward the Chocolate Frogs next to Ron — Ron leapt forward, but before he'd so much as touched Goyle, Goyle let out a horrible yell. **

**Scabbers the rat was hanging off his finger, sharp little teeth sunk deep into Goyle's knuckle — Crabbe and Malfoy backed away as Goyle swung Scabbers round and round, howling, and when Scabbers finally flew off and hit the window, all three of them disappeared at once. Perhaps they thought there were more rats lurking among the sweets, or perhaps they'd heard footsteps, because a second later, Hermione Granger had come in. **

"**What **_**has **_**been going on?" she said, looking at the sweets all over the floor and Ron picking up Scabbers by his tail. **

"**I think he's been knocked out," Ron said to Harry. He looked closer at Scabbers. "No — I don't believe it — he's gone back to sleep."**

**And so he had. **

Remus narrowed his eyes in thought. _Yes… _far_ too much like Peter…_

"**You've met Malfoy before?" **

**Harry explained about their meeting in Diagon Alley. **

"**I've heard of his family," said Ron darkly. "They were some of the first to come back to our side after You-Know-Who disappeared. Said they'd been bewitched. My dad doesn't believe it. He says Malfoy's father didn't need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side." He turned to Hermione. "Can we help you with something?" **

"**You'd better hurry up and put your robes on, I've just been up to the front to ask the conductor, and he says we're nearly there. You haven't been fighting, have you? You'll be in trouble before we even get there!" **

"… Ravenclaw," murmured Sirius and James.

"Wanna bet?" asked Lily.

Sirius and James blinked.

"GOOD GOD! Lily Evans, _bet_? WHY PERISH THE VERY THOUGHT!" shouted Sirius dramatically, putting a hand to his heart.

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Five Galleons says she's in Gryffindor."

"You're on!" cried James.

"No way, I'm already betting with Remus," said Sirius, shaking his head.

The future kids snickered.

"Talk about a losing battle," muttered Cindy.

"**Scabbers has been fighting, not us," said Ron, scowling at her. "Would you mind leaving while we change?" **

"**All right — I only came in here because people outside are behaving very childishly, racing up and down the corridors," said Hermione in a sniffy voice. "And you've got dirt on your nose, by the way, did you know?" **

**Ron glared at her as she left. Harry peered out of the window. It was getting dark. He could see mountains and forests under a deep purple sky. The train did seem to be slowing down. **

**He and Ron took off their jackets and pulled on their long black robes. Ron's were a bit short for him, you could see his sneakers underneath them. **

Ginny shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder if Mum or Dad used a _Stretching_ Charm on you when you were little."

Ron sniffed, "Jealous."

Everyone laughed.

**A voice echoed through the train: "We will be reaching Hogwarts in five minutes' time. Please leave your luggage on the train, it will be taken to the school separately." **

**Harry's stomach lurched with nerves and Ron, he saw, looked pale under his freckles. They crammed their pockets with the last of the sweets and joined the crowd thronging the corridor. **

**The train slowed right down and finally stopped. People pushed their way toward the door and out on to a tiny, dark platform. Harry shivered in the cold night air. Then a lamp came bobbing over the heads of the students, and Harry heard a familiar voice: "Firs' years! Firs' years over here! All right there, Harry?" **

**Hagrid's big hairy face beamed over the sea of heads. **

"**C'mon, follow me — any more firs' years? Mind yer step, now! Firs' years follow me!" **

**Slipping and stumbling, they followed Hagrid down what seemed to be a steep, narrow path. It was so dark on either side of them that Harry thought there must be thick trees there. Nobody spoke much. Neville, the boy who kept losing his toad, sniffed once or twice. **

"**Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," Hagrid called over his shoulder, "jus' round this bend here." **

**There was a loud "Oooooh!" **

**The narrow path had opened suddenly onto the edge of a great black lake. Perched atop a high mountain on the other side, its windows sparkling in the starry sky, was a vast castle with many turrets and towers. **

"**No more'n four to a boat!" Hagrid called, pointing to a fleet of little boats sitting in the water by the shore. Harry and Ron were followed into their boat by Neville and Hermione. **

"Toad-boy and Raven-girl," muttered James.

Lily smacked him. Again.

"**Everyone in?" shouted Hagrid, who had a boat to himself. "Right then — FORWARD!" **

**And the fleet of little boats moved off all at once, gliding across the lake, which was as smooth as glass. Everyone was silent, staring up at the great castle overhead. It towered over them as they sailed nearer and nearer to the cliff on which it stood. **

"**Heads down!" yelled Hagrid as the first boats reached the cliff; they all bent their heads and the little boats carried them through a curtain of ivy that hid a wide opening in the cliff face. They were carried along a dark tunnel, which seemed to be taking them right underneath the castle, until they reached a kind of underground harbor, where they clambered out onto rocks and pebbles. **

"**Oi, you there! Is this your toad?" said Hagrid, who was checking the boats as people climbed out of them. **

"**Trevor!" cried Neville blissfully, holding out his hands. Then they clambered up a passageway in the rock after Hagrid's lamp, coming out at last onto smooth, damp grass right in the shadow of the castle. **

**They walked up a flight of stone steps and crowded around the huge, oak front door. **

"**Everyone here? You there, still got yer toad?" **

Everyone laughed.

**Hagrid raised a gigantic fist and knocked three times on the castle door.**

Cindy closed the book with a dramatic flourish, set it down, got up, and bowed to them all. "So concludes chapter six of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_! Thank you, thank you."

Everyone else rolled their eyes, but they smiled.

*

**Cindy: YES! FINALLY! CHAPTER SIX IS OVER AND DONE! I CAN FINALLY RELA—**

**James: Um, not to er… burst your bubble, but you've got… quite a lot more chapters to do.**

**Cindy: … you mean that chapter six wasn't the last chapter?**

**Sirius: Sorry. Nope.**

**Cindy: …**

**Remus: … Cindy…?**

**Cindy: O…o**

**Harry: I think her brain fried.**

**Hermione: Oh, the poor thing.**

**Cindy: I AM NOT A THING!**

**Ginny: Well that did it. :D**

**Ron: Yes, well now that Chapter Six—or as Cindy calls it: The bane of her existence—is done, you must now review!**

**Lily: Yeah, Cindy said she won't update unless she gets at least FIVE reviews.**

**Cindy: That's right, people! FIVE reviews!**

**Harry: Happy reading!**

**Everyone: BYE!**

[1] - I got this from a review by 14hp1. xD

**A/N:** Yeah, sorry guys for not updating. It's just my best friend (THE FRED TO MY GEORGE!! :D) moved away to Texas this week... so... yeah.


	7. The Sorting Hat

"… **OMG THANK YOU ALL!" squealed Cindy as she saw the reviews. She wiped away a tear as she read how people said they loved her fic. **

"**I feel so loved! I asked for ****FIVE**** reviews and… and… I got **_**TEN**_**! And in just one day! … wait! Updated people! I now have eleven! OHMIGAWSH**_**THANK**_**YOUALL!" grinned Cindy.**

"**Oh! And **_**please**_** don't lose sleep just to read my fic," said Cindy, sweatdropping. "I don't want mad parents to come knocking at my door…"**

"…**And since you guys did ****more**** than I asked for, I worked my ****ASS**** off for this chapter so I could get it out the **_**VERY**_** day after chapter six! I hope you like it!"**

**And, blowing her nose, Cindy got to work.**

*

"Alright people," said Harry, swiping the book from Cindy ("Hey! _Rude_, much?") and flipping open to chapter… seven was it? Yes. Flipping open to chapter seven, Harry cleared his throat and began to read.

"Oh, before we start, this'll clear up the bets," pointed out Cindy, and she smiled at Harry and nodded.

"Oh, we can start? Really? No more interruptions?" said Harry, giving Cindy a look. Cindy just smiled back innocently.

**CHAPTER SEVEN **

**THE SORTING HAT **

"Get ready to pay up, Remus," smirked Sirius.

The future kids used their Gryffindor bravery and courage to put on a straight face.

**The door swung open at once. A tall, black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and Harry's first thought was that this was not someone to cross. **

"**The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid. **

"MINNIE!" shouted James and Sirius.

Harry grinned eyes sparkling with mischief, "Oh-h-ho, I am _so_ using that next time I see her."

The females—minus Cindy—rolled their eyes.

"Awesome. So'm I!" smirked Cindy.

"**Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here." **

**She pulled the door wide. The entrance hall was so big you could have fit the whole of the Dursleys' house in it. **

Sirius gasped, "And soil those hallowed halls? NEVER!"

Everyone laughed.

**The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors. **

**They followed Professor McGonagall across the flagged stone floor. Harry could hear the drone of hundreds of voices from a doorway to the right — the rest of the school must already be here — but Professor McGonagall showed the first years into a small, empty chamber off the hall. They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously. **

James sniffed, wiping a fake tear away. "Ah, the first step into Hogwarts, I shall never forget it."

"That's probably because you shouted, 'GOOD _GOD_, LOOK AT _THAT_! OMFG IT'S A FREAKING _GHOST_! SIRIUS! DO YOU _SEE_ THAT?! IT'S A _GHOST_!' James," said Remus.

James glared as everyone burst into hysterical laughter.

"**Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. **

"… and prank. You can't forget that," said Sirius solemnly.

Remus just rolled his eyes.

"**The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. **

"I think we had the record of losing at least one hundred and twenty points at once," mused James.

The future kids shared a smirk.

Lily gasped, "That was _YOU_?"

Everyone laughed at James's face.

"**The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting." **

Ginny said, "You know, I think I said 'With what?' out loud…"

Everyone laughed… again.

**Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose. Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair. **

"A losing battle, Harry. The Potter hair is untameable," sighed James, poking his own head of hair.

Lily and Ginny smirked.

"**I shall return when we are ready for you," said Professor McGonagall. "Please wait quietly." **

**She left the chamber. Harry swallowed. **

"**How exactly do they sort us into houses?" he asked Ron. **

"**Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking." **

"Or _was_ he?" said James.

Lily smacked him.

"You know, he's probably going to lose all feeling in his arm if you keep doing that," said Hermione.

"Oh! You're right," said Lily.

"Thank you," said James.

"That's why you smack them somewhere else everytime," continued Hermione, smacking Ron on the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for?" said Ron grumpily.

"I see," said Lily, and she followed suit.

"Ow!" said James, massaging the back of his head.

**Harry's heart gave a horrible jolt. A test? In front of the whole school? But he didn't know any magic yet —what on earth would he have to do? He hadn't expected something like this the moment they arrived. He looked around anxiously and saw that everyone else looked terrified, too. No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need. **

"Ha! She's so Ravenclaw," said James, triumphantly.

Lily looked worried.

The future kids looked anywhere but at James and Lily.

**Harry tried hard not to listen to her. He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue. **

The Marauders snorted.

"You did _what_?" grinned Sirius.

"That's impressive magic if I ever saw it!" said James.

Remus said, "I hope you do that to Slughorn!"

The future kids shared a 'wait-'till-they-see-who's-the-Potions-Master' look.

**He kept his eyes fixed on the door. Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come back and lead him to his doom. **

"Morbid. Your brain is morbid," said Ron, shaking his head.

Harry punched him in the arm.

"Why do people keep hitting me?" whined Ron.

"Because you're the easiest target," said Cindy, grinning.

**Then something happened that made him jump about a foot in the air — several people behind him screamed. **

"**What the —?" **

**He gasped. So did the people around him. About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall. Pearly-white and slightly transparent, they glided across the room talking to one another and hardly glancing at the first years. They seemed to be arguing. What looked like a fat little monk was saying: "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance —" **

"Ah, ghosts. They provide such wonderful entertainment…" said Lily.

"Especially Peeves," said Hermione.

"**My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost — I say, what are you all doing here?" **

**A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed the first years. **

**Nobody answered. **

"Well what do you expect? We just saw GHOSTS pop out of NOWHERE without ANY warning!" said Ron.

"I _was_ about to say 'Oh nothing, just enjoying the scenery,' but I decided against it," said Harry, grinning.

"**New students!" said the Fat Friar, smiling around at them. "About to be Sorted, I suppose?" **

**A few people nodded mutely. **

"**Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" said the Friar. "My old house, you know." **

"**Move along now," said a sharp voice. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start." **

"Who wants to bet that it's Minnie?" said Sirius.

No one answered.

"Um… Sirius? What are the chances that it's _not_ McGonagall?" said Ginny with an amused face.

**Professor McGonagall had returned. One by one, the ghosts floated away through the opposite wall. **

"**Now, form a line," Professor McGonagall told the first years, "and follow me." **

**Feeling oddly as though his legs had turned to lead, Harry got into line behind a boy with sandy hair, with Ron behind him, and they walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall. **

**Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. Mainly to avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upward and saw a velvety black ceiling dotted with stars. He heard Hermione whisper, "Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in **_**Hogwarts, A History**_**." **

"Dammit woman, what books _haven't_ you read?" demanded Sirius.

Hermione blushed.

**It was hard to believe there was a ceiling there at all, and that the Great Hall didn't simply open on to the heavens. **

**Harry quickly looked down again as Professor McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty. Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house. **

"The Sorting Hat! Get ready to pay up, Lily!" grinned James.

Lily rolled her eyes.

_**Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it**_**, Harry thought wildly, that seemed the sort of thing — noticing that everyone in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared at it, too. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth — and the hat began to sing: **

"It always has a new song every year…" said Ginny.

"_**Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, **_

_**But don't judge on what you see, **_

_**I'll eat myself if you can find **_

_**A smarter hat than me. **_

_**You can keep your bowlers black, **_

_**Your top hats sleek and tall, **_

_**For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat **_

_**And I can cap them all. **_

_**There's nothing hidden in your head **_

_**The Sorting Hat can't see, **_

_**So try me on and I will tell you **_

_**Where you ought to be. **_

_**You might belong in Gryffindor, **_

_**Where dwell the brave at heart, **_

"YEA-HA-_HAAAH_! GO GRY_FFINS_! WHOO!" cheered James and Sirius.

Everyone grinned. (Hey, after all, they _were_ Gryffindors.)

_**Their daring, nerve, and chivalry **_

_**Set Gryffindors apart; **_

_**You might belong in Hufflepuff, **_

_**Where they are just and loyal, **_

_**Those patient Hufflepuffs are true **_

_**And unafraid of toil; **_

_**Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, **_

_**if you've a ready mind, **_

_**Where those of wit and learning, **_

_**Will always find their kind; **_

_**Or perhaps in Slytherin **_

_**You'll make your real friends, **_

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted James, Sirius, Cindy, Harry, Ginny, and Ron.

_**Those cunning folk use any means **_

_**To achieve their ends. **_

"Yeah… _any_ means…" muttered Harry, then continued to read.

_**So put me on! Don't be afraid! **_

_**And don't get in a flap! **_

_**You're in safe hands (though I have none) **_

_**For I'm a Thinking Cap!" **_

**The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again. **

"**So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll." **

The future kids snickered and shared a 'he-wasn't-far-off-the-mark' look.

**Harry smiled weakly. Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching. The hat seemed to be asking rather a lot; Harry didn't feel brave or quick-witted or any of it at the moment. If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him. **

Ginny, Hermione, and Ron gave him a look.

Harry just shrugged.

**Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment. **

"**When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abbott, Hannah!" **

"Oh-h-ho! LET IT BEGIN!" cackled Sirius and James.

"… Rhino," said Cindy.

Everyone blinked at her.

"Muggle movie," she said.

"… ah," said everyone.

**A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moment's pause — **

"**HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat. **

**The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her. **

"**Bones, Susan!" **

"**HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah. **

"**Boot, Terry!" **

"**RAVENCLAW!" **

**The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them. **

"**Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender" became the first new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see Ron's twin brothers catcalling. **

"**Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin. Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot. **

"See? Gryffindor!" said James.

Lily's mouth twitched.

**He was starting to feel definitely sick now. He remembered being picked for teams during gym at his old school. He had always been last to be chosen, not because he was no good, but because no one wanted Dudley to think they liked him. **

Everyone (minus Harry and Cindy) narrowed their eyes at the book.

The book squeaked in fear.

Harry's eyes were the size of dinner plates. "Whoa…"

"**Finch-Fletchley, Justin!" **

"**HUFFLEPUFF!" **

**Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others it took a little while to decide. "Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor. **

"**Granger, Hermione!" **

Lily and James leaned forward.

**Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head. **

"**GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat. Ron groaned. **

James groaned as well, but handed a smug Lily her winnings.

**A horrible thought struck Harry, as horrible thoughts always do when you're very nervous. What if he wasn't chosen at all? What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train? **

Harry grinned sheepishly at the looks everyone gave him.

**When Neville Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called, he fell over on his way to the stool. The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When it finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR," Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag." **

Everyone snickered.

**Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!" **

James raised an eyebrow and said, "It _screamed_?"

"Interesting…" said Remus.

**Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle, looking pleased with himself. **

**There weren't many people left now. "Moon"…, "Nott"…, "Parkinson"…, then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil"…, then "Perks, Sally-Anne"…, and then, at last — "Potter, Harry!" **

**As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall. **

"_**Potter**_**, did she say?" **

"_**The **_**Harry Potter?" **

Remus coughed. Sirius handed him his winnings, grumbling.

"Never bet against the Lupinator," said Cindy.

Everyone burst into laughter.

**The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited. **

"**Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes — and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting…So where shall I put you?" **

Everyone leaned forward (Harry had never told the F.K. [future kids] about this part)

**Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, **_**Not Slytherin, not Slytherin**_**. **

James and Sirius grinned at Harry.

Harry grinned back.

"**Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that **

Everyone looked shocked (minus Harry and Cindy).

— **no? Well, if you're sure **

"You… chose…?" said Lily, in awe.

"Amazing…" said everyone at the same time.

— **better be GRYFFINDOR!" **

Lily sighed, and handed James two Galleons.

… but she was smiling.

**Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. He took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Gryffindor table. He was so relieved to have been chosen and not put in Slytherin, he hardly noticed that he was getting the loudest cheer yet. **

James sniffed proudly. "My little boy all grown up and getting standing ovations!"

**Percy the Prefect got up and shook his hand vigorously, while the Weasley twins yelled, "We got Potter! We got Potter!" **

Everyone snickered.

**Harry sat down opposite the ghost in the ruff he'd seen earlier. The ghost patted his arm, giving Harry the sudden, horrible feeling he'd just plunged it into a bucket of ice-cold water. **

**He could see the High Table properly now. At the end nearest him sat Hagrid, who caught his eye and gave him the thumbs up. Harry grinned back. And there, in the center of the High Table, in a large gold chair, sat Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him at once from the card he'd gotten out of the Chocolate Frog on the train. Dumbledore's silver hair was the only thing in the whole hall that shone as brightly as the ghosts. Harry spotted Professor Quirrell, too, the nervous young man from the Leaky Cauldron. He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban. **

**And now there were only three people left to be sorted. "Thomas, Dean," a Black boy even taller than Ron, joined Harry at the Gryffindor table. "Turpin, Lisa," became a Ravenclaw and then it was Ron's turn. He was pale green by now. Harry crossed his fingers under the table and a second later the hat had shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" **

**Harry clapped loudly with the rest as Ron collapsed into the chair next to him. **

Ron punched Harry in the shoulder affectionately.

"**Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley pompously across Harry as "Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away. **

**Harry looked down at his empty gold plate. He had only just realized how hungry he was. The pumpkin pasties seemed ages ago. **

**Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there. **

"**Welcome," he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! **

Everyone smiled at Dumbledore's words.

"**Thank you!" **

**He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not. **

"**Is he — a bit mad?" he asked Percy uncertainly. **

"**Mad?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?" **

Cindy snickered.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"Well you don't just go and say, 'but yes, he is mad. Please pass the potatoes' every day!" giggled Cindy.

Everyone started laughing.

**Harry's mouth fell open. The dishes in front of him were now piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs. **

"Peppermint whatta's?" said Cindy in confusion.

**The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked. Dudley had always taken anything that Harry really wanted, even if it made him sick. **

The book trembled ("Whoa… this is _so_ unreal…") under the furious glares of everyone except Harry, of course.

**Harry piled his plate with a bit of everything except the peppermints and began to eat. It was all delicious. **

"**That does look good," said the ghost in the ruff sadly, watching Harry cut up his steak. **

"**Can't you —?" **

"**I haven't eaten for nearly five hundred years," said the ghost. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower." **

"**I know who you are!" said Ron suddenly. "My brothers told me about you — you're Nearly Headless Nick!" **

"**I would **_**prefer **_**you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy —" the ghost began stiffly, but sandy-haired Seamus Finnigan interrupted. **

"_**Nearly **_**Headless? How can you be **_**nearly **_**headless?" **

Harry made a gagging face. Even Ron looked green.

"Ugh… you just _HAD_ to ask that, didn't you?" said Cindy, looking sick.

Hermione turned slightly pink.

**Sir Nicholas looked extremely miffed, as if their little chat wasn't going at all the way he wanted. **

"**Like **_**this**_**," he said irritably. He seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Someone had obviously tried to behead him, but not done it properly. Looking pleased at the stunned looks on their faces, Nearly Headless Nick flipped his head back onto his neck, coughed, and said, "So — new Gryffindors! I hope you're going to help us win the house championship this year? Gryffindors have never gone so long without winning. Slytherins have got the cup six years in a row! **

James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily all fainted.

"… are they okay?" asked Hermione to Cindy, who was inspecting Sirius's pockets.

"Awesome, a Dungbomb, five Sickles, and a Chocolate Frog! What a haul—wait, what? Oh, yeah. I guess," said Cindy nonchalantly, as she moved onto James's pockets.

"Whoa, what've we got here? Oh what the—WHOA…" said Cindy, eyes wide, as she looked through some pictures in James's pockets.

"What?" asked Ginny.

"They're all of Lily… damn, this guy's got a stalker complex larger than the state of Alaska…" muttered Cindy.

Suddenly the Marauders (Lily counts from now on, 'kay?) started to stir. Cindy noticed this, and, taking the stuff she found in Sirius's pockets ("Hey, finder's keepers!") sat down, looking the picture of innocence.

"Ugh… what happened?" groaned Remus.

"You fainted after we read that Slytherin's been unbeatable for seven years," said Hermione, mouth twitching.

"Yup, nothing else," said Cindy, grinning.

Harry flicked her an amused glance before continuing to read.

**The Bloody Baron's becoming almost unbearable — he's the Slytherin ghost." **

**Harry looked over at the Slytherin table and saw a horrible ghost sitting there, with blank staring eyes, a gaunt face, and robes stained with silver blood. He was right next to Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn't look too pleased with the seating arrangements. **

Hermione and Ron sighed.

Ginny said to satisfy the confused looks of the Marauders, "The rivalry between Malfoy and Harry began right then."

"Oh…" said Lily.

"**How did he get covered in blood?" asked Seamus with great interest. **

"**I've never asked," said Nearly Headless Nick delicately. **

"I know why…" sing-songed Harry.

"It's in Book Seven," said Harry quickly when he saw Cindy's warning glare and James's open mouth.

**When everyone had eaten as much as they could, the remains of the food faded from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean as before. A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavor you could think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate eclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding… **

**As Harry helped himself to a treacle tart, the talk turned to their families. **

"Harry loves his treacle tart!" said Ginny.

"Hey, so do we!" said Lily and James.

"… it's _genetic_…?" said Ron, in awe.

"**I'm half-and-half," said Seamus. "Me dad's a Muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch 'til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him." **

Everyone snickered.

**The others laughed. **

"**What about you, Neville?" said Ron. **

"**Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all-Muggle for ages. My Great Uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me — he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned — but nothing happened until I was eight. Great Uncle Algie came round for dinner, and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my Great Auntie Enid offered him a meringue and he accidentally let go. But I bounced — all the way down the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy. And you should have seen their faces when I got in here — they thought I might not be magic enough to come, you see. Great Uncle Algie was so pleased he bought me my toad." **

It was so silent, you could've heard a pin drop from the other side of Hogwarts Castle.

"Wow. Desperate, are we?" said Lily, smiling.

**On Harry's other side, Percy Weasley and Hermione were talking about lessons ("I **_**do **_**hope they start right away, there's so much to learn, I'm particularly interested in Transfiguration, you know, turning something into something else, of course, it's supposed to be very difficult —"; "You'll be starting small, just matches into needles and that sort of thing — "). **

Harry and Ron shared a world-weary look.

**Harry, who was starting to feel warm and sleepy, looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin. **

**It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes — and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead. **

Hermione muttered to herself, "Clue number two…"

"**Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head. **

"Oh no! What's wrong?" squealed Lily, looking fearfully at Harry.

Harry felt a flare of annoyance rise up in him, but he squashed it, and tossed it out of a mental window.

"**What is it?" asked Percy. **

"**N-nothing." **

**The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look — a feeling that he didn't like Harry at all. **

"Why I oughta—" began Lily, but was cut off by Harry.

"Will you please stop being so emotional?" said Harry exasperatedly.

Lily's mouth gaped.

James looked shocked.

Sirius stared at Harry.

Cindy opened the Chocolate Frog.

Ginny yawned.

Hermione shrugged.

Ron looked envious of Cindy.

Harry paid her and the rest of the room no attention as he continued to read.

"**Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy. **

"**Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to — everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape." **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" shouted Sirius.

"HOW CAN THIS BE?! THE TRAGEDY! THE HORROR! THE INDIGNITY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" said James dramatically.

Lily's eye was twitching as this all happened.

Remus's face was the ESSENCE of shocked.

The F.K.s LMAO-d.

**Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again. **

**At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent. **

"**Ahem — just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. **

"**First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." **

The Marauders were too shocked by the announcement of Snape's Potions Master position to comment on this.

**Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins. **

Remus gave shaky smile. "They're exactly like you guys."

"**I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. **

"**Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. **

James gave a sharp glance at Harry, but then remembered it was his first year.

"**And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death." **

The G.T. shared a smile.

**Harry laughed, but he was one of the few who did. **

"**He's not serious?" he muttered to Percy. **

"Say anything, Sirius, and I _will_ stick something up yours," warned Ginny.

Sirius pouted.

"**Must be," said Percy, frowning at Dumbledore. "It's odd, because he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere — the forest's full of dangerous beasts, everyone knows that. I do think he might have told us prefects, at least." **

"**And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore. Harry noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed. **

James and Sirius recovered from their half-comatose state and said, "Oh yeah, we're SO totally responsible for turning to Hogwarts School Song into a… _memorable_… event."

Remus and Lily shuddered.

"May the powers of the universe stop it from repeating itself…" said Remus.

**Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words. **

"**Everyone pick their favorite tune," said Dumbledore, "and off we go!" **

"Don't ask what tune they picked… just… don't," said Lily.

"That's because we _made_ our own tune!" grinned Sirius.

**And the school bellowed: **

"_**Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, **_

_**Teach us something please, **_

"YOU HAVE TO SING, HARRY! SING!" shouted James.

Harry gave a look and said, "Uh… no."

"Come on, Harry!" smirked Ginny. "Sing for us!"

Hermione's mouth twitched as she said, "Oh yes, you must sing."

"… no. End of discussion," glared Harry.

"Oh come on, Harry! Be a sport!" grinned Ron.

Harry told him to shove it.

_**Whether we be old and bald **_

_**Or young with scabby knees, **_

_**Our heads could do with filling **_

_**With some interesting stuff, **_

_**For now they're bare and full of air, **_

_**Dead flies and bits of fluff, **_

_**So teach us things worth knowing, **_

_**Bring back what we've forgot, **_

_**just do your best, we'll do the rest, **_

_**And learn until our brains all rot." **_

**Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped loudest. **

"**Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!" **

**The Gryffindor first years followed Percy through the chattering crowds, out of the Great Hall, and up the marble staircase. Harry's legs were like lead again, but only because he was so tired and full of food. He was too sleepy even to be surprised that the people in the portraits along the corridors whispered and pointed as they passed, or that twice Percy led them through doorways hidden behind sliding panels and hanging tapestries. They climbed more staircases, yawning and dragging their feet, and Harry was just wondering how much farther they had to go when they came to a sudden halt. **

**A bundle of walking sticks was floating in midair ahead of them, and as Percy took a step toward them they started throwing themselves at him. **

"**Peeves," Percy whispered to the first years. "A poltergeist." He raised his voice, "Peeves — show yourself." **

**A loud, rude sound, like the air being let out of a balloon, answered. **

"**Do you want me to go to the Bloody Baron?" **

**There was a pop, and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross-legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks. **

"**Oooooooh!" he said, with an evil cackle. "Ickle Firsties! What fun!" **

**He swooped suddenly at them. They all ducked. **

"**Go away, Peeves, or the Baron'll hear about this, I mean it!" barked Percy. **

**Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, dropping the walking sticks on Neville's head. **

"Why must you torment Neville so, JK?" said Remus, shaking his head.

**They heard him zooming away, rattling coats of armor as he passed. **

"**You want to watch out for Peeves," said Percy, as they set off again. "The Bloody Baron's the only one who can control him, he won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are." **

**At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress. **

"**Password?" she said. **

"**Caput Draconis," said Percy, **

"I think that means _'Head Dragon' _but I'm not sure…" mused Remus.

They all stared at him.

"… what?" asked Remus sheepishly.

**and the portrait swung forward to reveal a round hole in the wall. They all scrambled through it — Neville needed a leg up — and found themselves in the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squashy armchairs. **

"Ah… I _love_ our common room…" sighed Ginny dreamily.

**Percy directed the girls through one door to their dormitory and the boys through another. At the top of a spiral staircase — they were obviously in one of the towers — they found their beds at last: five four-posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they pulled on their pajamas and fell into bed. **

"**Great food, isn't it?" Ron muttered to Harry through the hangings. "Get **_**off**_**, Scabbers! He's chewing my sheets." **

Remus's eyes narrowed. _Something_ was up with that rat. He was sure of it.

**Harry was going to ask Ron if he'd had any of the treacle tart, but he fell asleep almost at once. **

**Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn't want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully — and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he struggled with it — then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold — there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking. **

"Whoa… intense," said James.

The F.K.s all stared at Harry, who looked shocked as well.

**He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke next day, he didn't remember the dream at all.**

"And… there we go!" said Cindy.

Harry nodded, and smiled before handing the book to the next reader.

*

**Cindy: True to my word, I did this. In one day. I'm completely beat.**

**James: Amazing, Cindy!**

**Sirius: Truly and awe-inspiring accomplishment!**

**Cindy: Coming from both of you, it doesn't really count.**

**Lily: Ignore them, Cindy. But they're right. This is… amazing.**

**Remus: If you can do this, why can't you do it all the time?**

**Cindy: Are you INSANE? If I do something like this every day, I'm going to SNAP!**

Harry: Oh, like you haven't.

**Cindy: Says the man who's sanity is debatable.**

**Harry: Touché.**

**Ginny: Good job, though Cindy!**

**Ron: Impressive!**

**Hermione: Yes, wonderful job!**

**Cindy: Aw shucks… you're making me blush!**

Ginny: *hugs* Ha! You're welcome!

**Harry: This time Cindy wants…wait. Five reviews? Again?**

**Cindy: Well I can't very well up the requirements every chapter.**

**Harry: … touché again.**

**Cindy: HA! Anyways, I need FIVE reviews before I will post up another chapter. Thank you all! 8D**


	8. The Potions Master

**Cindy's mouth gaped open-and-closed—much like a dead fish—when she saw the sixteen reviews she got… in one day. She fainted, her mouth still open.**

**[Five minutes later]**

**Cindy groaned, and got back up on her chair… to see the sixteen reviews. She stared at the responses… especially one.**

_**WTF is a peanut gallery?**_** She thought.**

"**Oh, and I need to keep the relationships a little on the vague side. I'm going to add more and more shippie-goodness, though. So…" she said, trailing off.**

**Turning to the audience, and wiping away a tear she said, "I ask for five, and I get sixteen! Wow, guys! You sure know how to make my day, eh?"**

**"Oh, and Teenage Metamorphmagus, um... there** **_were_** **only three names in the quote you gave me.... yeah," said Cindy, scuffing her foot on the ground.**

**She blew her nose into a napkin, and smiled. "Thanks to all of you who reviewed! Since you gave me… more than THREE TIMES the amount I asked for, I practically worked myself on end for this chapter so I could get it out! I hope you enjoy this!"**

"**LIES! YOU WORKED PRACTICALLY **_**NOTHING**_** FOR—**_**MMPH**_**!" shouted Harry, but was muffled by Cindy's swift hand.**

"**Eh-heh… **_**shut **__**up**__**,**__**you**_**! Please enjoy!" sweatdropped Cindy.**

**Cindy sat back down in her chair and began working.**

*

Ginny opened the book up to chapter eight… then remembered her growling stomach. Blushing, she said, "Um… we never did eat breakfast, you know…"

Sirius's face was shocked. "NO! _HOW_ COULD WE HAVE FORGOTTEN?!"

James scowled at Sirius. "It's your _duty_ to remember breakfast! We totally _missed_ it!"

Remus pointed out, "Well it's not like we could traipse on down there with—_ahem_—your double, Lily's sister-like twin Ginny, and her brother _without_ looking conspicuous."

Everyone stared at Remus.

"What? I'm just being realistic," he said.

"So… anyone up for some pear-tickling?" grinned Cindy.

"Dammit woman, do you know all the secrets to Hogwarts?" demanded Sirius.

"No! Of course not!" said Cindy, then after a moment she added, "Well… maybe…"

The Marauders (minus Lily) all pouted. It wasn't fair. How did the F.K.s all know their secrets?

"Let's go people…" moaned Ron, holding his stomach. "I'm dying here…"

And, laughing, the unlikely group headed for the kitchens.

*

[30 minutes later]

"Ugh…" moaned Cindy, Ron, Sirius, and everyone else.

"So… full…" moaned Ginny.

"Dammit… house elves… so… enthusiastic… shoved… food…" muttered Harry.

Cindy just raised an arm, her index finger pointed up. "Bluh…" She let her arm fall.

"Must… reach… book…" said Hermione, reaching for the book.

"No, Hermy! S'my turn!" slurred Ginny, and she half-heartedly swiped at the book.

Ron dragged himself over to Hermione, took the book from Hermione, and gave it to his sister.

Groaning, everyone got back into their respective places.

"I'm… never… eating… pumpkin bread… ever… again…" moaned Cindy.

After a while of moaning agreements, Ginny cleared her throat and began.

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**THE POTIONS MASTER**

"Oh for the love of _God_…" moaned Harry, and he banged his head on the desk.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Remus.

"Oh, oh you'll see," grimaced Ron.

Ginny, who obviously wasn't there for their first year, merely read on.

"**There, look."**

"**Where?"**

"**Next to the tall kid with the red hair."**

"**Wearing the glasses?"**

"**Did you see his face?"**

"**Did you see his scar?"**

"Why—won't—they—shut—up?" groaned Harry, still banging his head on the desk.

"Shouldn't they be used to you by now?" asked Lily.

"Oh no, everywhere I go it's 'Oh look! Harry Potter!' 'Oh! Let's go ask for an autograph!' and sometimes 'Do you think he's still single?' or 'I wish I was that Ginny Weasley!'" sighed Harry.

Ginny just patted him on the shoulder.

The Marauders looked on at this with mild curiosity. Were they an item?

**Whispers followed Harry from the moment he left his dormitory the next day. People lining up outside classrooms stood on tiptoe to get a look at him, or doubled back to pass him in the corridors again, staring. Harry wished they wouldn't, because he was trying to concentrate on finding his way to classes.**

"It still bothers me," said Harry, his voice muffled because his head was still on the table.

"It's an occupational hazard. Being the friends of Harry Potter's dangerous," said Hermione, smirking.

The F.K.s all smirked.

**There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts: wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday; **

"Remember the time ol' Pete somehow ended up outside when he was trying to get to the Potions classroom?" smirked James.

Sirius snickered. "Oh yes. It was epic. _Epic_ I say."

Remus rolled his eyes.

**some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump. **

"Which—for some unknown reason—I have to keep reminding these two idiots of," said Remus.

Sirius and James huffed.

**Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, **

"Which is why James has to take the long way to Astronomy," smirked Sirius.

"Not my fault that the damn door wouldn't take a 'sorry'!" sniffed James.

**or tickled them in exactly the right place, **

"The door to the kitchens!" said everyone at the same time.

**and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending. **

Remus laughed quietly.

"What?" asked Lily.

Sirius and James turned beet red.

"Don't you dare say _anything_, Lupin!" warned Sirius.

Remus lifted his hands in a backing off gesture.

"This conversation isn't over!" vowed Harry.

**It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot. The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was sure the coats of armor could walk.**

The F.K.s shared a 'you-got-_that_-right' look.

**The ghosts didn't help, either. It was always a nasty shock when one of them glided suddenly through a door you were trying to open. Nearly Headless Nick was always happy to point new Gryffindors in the right direction, **

"Helped us a lot in our early pranking days…" said Sirius, eyes glazing over.

Remus socked him in the arm to snap him back to the present.

**but Peeves the Poltergeist was worth two locked doors and a trick staircase if you met him when you were late for class. **

"Hm… funny, he never really bothered us…" mused Remus.

Everyone gaped at the Marauders (minus Lily).

"Really?" said Lily, pouting. "He's always trying to bother me."

"That's probably because you're the number one anti-pranker," said Sirius.

Everyone snickered at the look on Lily's face.

**He would drop wastepaper baskets on your head, pull rugs from under your feet, pelt you with bits of chalk, or sneak up behind you, invisible, grab your nose, and screech, "GOT YOUR CONK!"**

Remus tried to hold back laughter, and failed miserably.

Ginny threw down the book and demanded, "Alright, that's it. What's so funny?"

Sirius and James had turned beet red once more.

"Well—ha!—once, Peeves did that to both of them—pfft!—and-and they totally all went 'AAAAAGGH! PEEVES! NOO!! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!'" gasped Remus, trying to breathe as he laughed.

Everyone burst into hysterical laughter at Sirius and James' faces.

**Even worse than Peeves, if that was possible, was the caretaker, Argus Filch. Harry and Ron managed to get on the wrong side of him on their very first morning. **

"Damn, he broke our record of three days!" moaned Sirius.

**Filch found them trying to force their way through a door that unluckily turned out to be the entrance to the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor. **

Hermione's eye started to twitch madly. "Ex_cuse_ me?"

Harry and Ron slowly backed away from her.

**He wouldn't believe they were lost, was sure they were trying to break into it on purpose, and was threatening to lock them in the dungeons when they were rescued by Professor Quirrell, who was passing.**

"Fascinating…" said Hermione quietly.

Remus, with his enhanced werewolf hearing ("A blessing within a curse.") heard Hermione's silent thoughts. _Hmm… it just gets more and more interesting…_

**Filch owned a cat called Mrs. Norris, a scrawny, dust-colored creature with bulging, lamp like eyes just like Filch's. **

Sirius grinned madly.

"Gave Mrs. Norris quite a scare when she realized that a great black dog was prowling the Hogwarts grounds!" laughed James.

**She patrolled the corridors alone. Break a rule in front of her, put just one toe out of line, and she'd whisk off for Filch, who'd appear, wheezing, two seconds later. Filch knew the secret passageways of the school better than anyone (except perhaps the Weasley twins) **

"… and us!" shouted James.

**and could pop up as suddenly as any of the ghosts. The students all hated him, and it was the dearest ambition of many to give Mrs. Norris a good kick.**

"You know… I think I might've accidentally kicked her halfway across the hallways…" mused Remus.

Harry sweatdropped. _How do you do that '_accidentally'_?_

"Oh, so _that's_ why Filch was mad!" said Lily quietly.

"THREE CHEERS FOR THE MOONSTER!" shouted Sirius.

Everyone cheered.

**And then, once you had managed to find them, there were the classes themselves. There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words.**

Harry coughed as everyone gave him incredulous stares.

**They had to study the night skies through their telescopes every Wednesday at midnight and learn the names of different stars and the movements of the planets. **

"Ha. Sirius the dog star," laughed Remus.

**Three times a week they went out to the greenhouses behind the castle to study Herbology, with a dumpy little witch called Professor Sprout, where they learned how to take care of all the strange plants and fungi, and found out what they were used for. Easily the most boring class was History of Magic, which was the only one taught by a ghost. **

Everyone groaned and banged their heads on a table simultaneously.

Blinking, everyone started to laugh when they realized this.

**Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staff room fire and got up next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him. Binns droned on and on while they scribbled down names and dates, and got Emetic the Evil and Uric the Oddball mixed up.**

"Ugh. I call it 'bedtime'," grinned Harry.

Everyone laughed.

**Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher, was a tiny little wizard who had to stand on a pile of books to see over his desk. At the start of their first class he took the roll call, and when he reached Harry's name he gave an excited squeak and toppled out of sight.**

"Even the teachers…" sighed Harry.

**Professor McGonagall was again different. Harry had been quite right to think she wasn't a teacher to cross. Strict and clever, she gave them a talking-to the moment they sat down in her first class.**

"My favorite teacher," said everyone at the same time.

They burst into laughter.

"**Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts," she said. **

"**Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned."**

"Jack Larson, was it? Yes, I _think_ it was him who Transfigured a desk into a _clown_…" shuddered Remus. "I _hate_ clowns…"

Everyone nodded solemnly.

**Then she changed her desk into a pig and back again.**

"She transfigured it into a chicken for us," said James.

**They were all very impressed and couldn't wait to get started, but soon realized they weren't going to be changing the furniture into animals for a long time. After taking a lot of complicated notes, they were each given a match and started trying to turn it into a needle. By the end of the lesson, only Hermione Granger had made any difference to her match; Professor McGonagall showed the class how it had gone all silver and pointy and gave Hermione a rare smile.**

The Marauders (which includes Lily) all gaped at Hermione.

"She… smiled?" gaped Lily.

**The class everyone had really been looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Quirrell's lessons turned out to be a bit of a joke. **

Harry, Hermione, and Ron all shook their heads. The class was a total waste of time in their opinions.

**His classroom smelled strongly of garlic, **

"Garlic…" sighed Sirius, shaking his head.

**which everyone said was to ward off a vampire he'd met in Romania and was afraid would be coming back to get him one of these days. **

"Paranoid, much?" giggled Lily.

**His turban, he told them, had been given to him by an African prince as a thank-you for getting rid of a troublesome zombie, but they weren't sure they believed this story.**

"Please, who _would_?" scoffed Ginny

**For one thing, when Seamus Finnigan asked eagerly to hear how Quirrell had fought off the zombie, Quirrell went pink and started talking about the weather; **

"FRAUD!" shouted everyone simultaneously.

They promptly burst into laughter.

**for another, they had noticed that a funny smell hung around the turban, and the Weasley twins insisted that it was stuffed full of garlic as well, so that Quirrell was protected wherever he went.**

"Interesting idea," said Remus, mouth twitching.

**Harry was very relieved to find out that he wasn't miles behind everyone else. **

**The F.K.s sent him exasperated looks.**

"The man's the best in our year and he thinks he isn't," muttered Ron silently, shaking his head.

Harry merely looked sheepish.

**Lots of people had come from Muggle families and, like him, hadn't had any idea that they were witches and wizards. There was so much to learn that even people like Ron didn't have much of a head start.**

Ron glared at Harry.

Harry shrugged as if to say 'well, it's the truth!'

**Friday was an important day for Harry and Ron. They finally managed to find their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast without getting lost once.**

Everyone snickered at Ron and Harry's blushing faces.

"**What have we got today?" Harry asked Ron as he poured sugar on his porridge.**

"**Double Potions with the Slytherins," **

Everyone groaned.

**said Ron. "Snape's Head of Slytherin House. **

"IT GETS _WORSE_?!" cried both the black-haired Marauders.

**They say he always favors them — we'll be able to see if it's true."**

"**Wish McGonagall favored us," said Harry. Professor McGonagall was head of Gryffindor House, but it hadn't stopped her from giving them a huge pile of homework the day before.**

"Please. Minnie? Favor someone? Pfft," said Sirius.

The Golden Trio shared a secret smile.

**Just then, the mail arrived. Harry had gotten used to this by now, but it had given him a bit of a shock on the first morning, when about a hundred owls had suddenly streamed into the Great Hall during breakfast, circling the tables until they saw their owners, and dropping letters and packages onto their laps.**

"If I do recall a certain Potter scream 'What in the _bloody_—?!' when the owls descended from above…?" smirked Hermione.

Harry blushed.

**Hedwig hadn't brought Harry anything so far. **

"Which is no surprise," muttered Remus darkly.

**She sometimes flew in to nibble his ear and have a bit of toast before going off to sleep in the Owlery with the other school owls. This morning, however, she fluttered down between the marmalade and the sugar bowl and dropped a note onto Harry's plate. Harry tore it open at once. It said, in a very untidy scrawl:**

_**Dear Harry,**_

_**I know you get Friday afternoons off, so would you like to come and have a cup of tea with me around three?**_

_**I want to hear all about your first week. Send us an answer back with Hedwig.**_

_**Hagrid**_

**Harry borrowed Ron's quill, **

"If by borrowed you mean stole," sniffed Ron.

Harry coughed and looked away.

**scribbled **_**Yes, please, see you later **_**on the back of the note, and sent Hedwig off again.**

**It was lucky that Harry had tea with Hagrid to look forward to, because the Potions lesson turned out to be the worst thing that had happened to him so far.**

"Oh _no_," moaned Lily.

"Oh _yes_," grimaced Harry.

**At the start-of-term banquet, Harry had gotten the idea that Professor Snape disliked him. By the end of the first Potions lesson, he knew he'd been wrong. Snape didn't dislike Harry — **

"Oh good," breathed Lily."

**he **_**hated **_**him.**

"… oh," said Lily, blinking. She felt slightly disappointed in her old friend.

"Please. Don't feel disappointed, Lily," said Harry. (Lily felt _slightly_ offended that he hadn't called her 'Mum'.) "It just gets worse from here."

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all nodded solemnly.

Then Harry said, "It's all Sirius and James's fault, really."

"What?!" shouted the black-haired Marauders.

"Well… I look like James," (James looked put out that he wasn't called 'Dad') "I have Lily's eyes, and… well I hate him too," finished Harry lamely.

**Potions lessons took place down in one of the dungeons. It was colder here than up in the main castle, and would have been quite creepy enough without the pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls.**

"E-hee-hew…" shuddered the Marauders (minus Lily).

**Snape, like Flitwick, started the class by taking the roll call, and like Flitwick, he paused at Harry's name.**

"**Ah, Yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new — **_**celebrity**_**."**

"Brace yourselves," said Harry softly.

**Draco Malfoy and his friends Crabbe and Goyle sniggered behind their hands. **

Harry's eye started to twitch.

**Snape finished calling the names and looked up at the class. His eyes were black like Hagrid's, but they had none of Hagrid's warmth. They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels.**

Lily frowned. "Surely you're over-exaggerat—"

"No. Nope. Uh-uh. Nein. Geen. Arith. Nem. Non. Tidak. Jo. Ne. Nej. Nee. Do I need to go on?" said Harry, ticking off the words on his fingers.

Everyone gaped at him.

"Hey, so I know a couple languages," shrugged Harry.

"A _couple_?" asked Hermione, eye twitching.

"**You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," he began. **

"Subtle my grandfather's ar—er… mustache," muttered Ron, changing at the last moment when Hermione glared at him.

**He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word — like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. **

"By creeping everyone out," grumbled Ginny.

"**As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. **

**Everyone (minus Lily) scoffed.**

"Magic my blooming arse—_yes_ I cursed, dammit! YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER _ME_!" shouted Cindy, jabbing a finger at Hermione and Lily.

"What about me?" asked Harry.

"… _may_be. But you won't really say anything," said Cindy.

Harry pouted.

**I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…**

"Dayum. This guy's _seriously_ obsessed—DON'T SAY A WORD!" said Cindy, glaring at Sirius.

Sirius looked innocent.

**I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."**

"Nice. Real nice," said James flatly.

**More silence followed this little speech. Harry and Ron exchanged looks with raised eyebrows. Hermione Granger was on the edge of her seat and looked desperate to start proving that she wasn't a dunderhead.**

Ron and Harry snickered at Hermione's affronted look.

"**Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"**

"How does he expect to know something like that?" demanded a furious Lily.

Harry raised an eyebrow. _Hmm… she seems to have gotten over her Anti-Snape-Abuse ways. Oh-ho-ho… this changes everything!_

Harry smiled deviously.

Remus, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron all backed away from him. Remus because he'd seen that look on his Marauder brethren _far_ too many times, and the others because this look usually ended in some sort of dangerous mission—which was something completely unrelated to the reason behind Harry's smile.

Cindy—eyes wide in anticipation—leaned _towards_ Harry, even going so far as to walk up over to him and sit next to the chair next to the aforementioned Boy-Who-Kicked-Snake-Arse and whisper, "Whatever you're thinking, I want in."

Harry nodded infinitesimally, still smiling.

Ginny—slightly unsettled—continued to read.

Lily noticed nothing (*cough-idiot-cough*).

_**Powdered root of what to an infusion of what**_**? **

"See?" pouted Lily.

**Harry glanced at Ron, who looked as stumped as he was; Hermione's hand had shot into the air.**

"Why he didn't pick her I'll _never_ know," muttered Ron sarcastically.

"**I don't know, sir," said Harry.**

**Snape's lips curled into a sneer.**

Everyone (minus Lily) screwed up their faces in hate.

"**Tut, tut — fame clearly isn't everything."**

Harry's eye twitched, and his clever almost Slytherin-like mind began to plan.

**He ignored Hermione's hand.**

"**Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"**

"A what-now?" said Sirius, clearly confused.

Remus required a thick volume to appear next to him, and he began to contemplate it. He looked over at Sirius, who looked slightly unsettled at Remus's inspection.

Remus then raised the thick volume. Sirius looked confused.

Remus seemed to think about something, and then nodded to himself.

Sirius still looked confused.

Remus raised the book higher.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Remus smacked him over the head with it.

Everyone laughed at Sirius's dazed look.

**Hermione stretched her hand as high into the air as it would go without her leaving her seat, but Harry didn't have the faintest idea what a bezoar was. **

Nobody said anything; Ginny was clenching her fists so hard, her knuckles were white.

"Oy, you with the red hair," muttered Cindy.

Ginny looked up.

"Cool down them jets, ey?" said Cindy. "And _get_ with the readin'!"

Smiling slightly, Ginny continued to read.

**He tried not to look at Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who were shaking with laughter.**

Sirius looked like he'd had a stroke of genius.

"What, going to shout 'Eureka' or not?" said Cindy dryly.

Sirius blushed, but said nothing. He merely conjured up a piece of parchment, an inkwell, Accio'd a table over, and picked up a stray quill.

"Damn. Y'sure are efficient!" said Cindy.

Giving her a 'look, let me work, alright?' look, Sirius dipped his quill and began to write.

James just did a 'don't even bother asking' roll of his eyes, and motioned for Ginny to keep reading.

"**I don't know, sir."**

"**Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" **

"Well, we bow at thy feet, O' Mighty One. We are awed at your _vast_ knowledge of _such_ a com_plex_ study, _please_ excuse our stupidity," said Cindy dryly, getting up and bowing at a conjured up dummy of a ridiculously ugly Professor Snape.

Everyone guffawed.

Harry stole a sheet of parchment from Sirius ("Hey!") and a quill. Dipping it in Sirius's inkwell ("_Rude_, much?"), he wrote something down on it quickly.

**Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys', but did Snape expect him to remember everything in **_**One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi**_**?**

"I bet Hermione does," muttered James.

Hermione blushed.

**Snape was still ignoring Hermione's quivering hand.**

"**What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"**

"I don't know sir, please explain?" asked Ginny, her eyes wide.

No one could take it anymore, they laughed so hard, they were sure the whole school could hear them.

**At this, Hermione stood up, her hand stretching toward the dungeon ceiling.**

"**I don't know," said Harry quietly. "I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?"**

"OOH! WHATCHA GUNNA DO _NOW_, FOO'?!" shouted Cindy, pointing at the book.

This just made them laugh harder.

**A few people laughed; Harry caught Seamus's eye, and Seamus winked. Snape, however, was not pleased.**

"**Sit down," he snapped at Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"**

"Because you never told us to," grumbled Ron, good mood evaporated.

**There was a sudden rummaging for quills and parchment. Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."**

Everyone (minus Lily… _again_. Yeesh.) ground their teeth.

"Just you wait you old bat! We're going to _get_ you one day!" vowed Ginny.

The F.K.s (who all knew of Snape's sacrifice) all nodded vigorously. What? They still detested him.

**Things didn't improve for the Gryffindors as the Potions lesson continued. **

"Like we were expecting it to," muttered Hermione.

**Snape put them all into pairs and set them to mixing up a simple potion to cure boils. He swept around in his long black cloak, watching them weigh dried nettles and crush snake fangs, criticizing almost everyone except Malfoy, whom he seemed to like. **

"FAVORITISM!" shouted them all.

**He was just telling everyone to look at the perfect way Malfoy had stewed his horned slugs **

"Who gives a freaking sh—er, crap how good someone stews their horned slugs?" muttered Sirius.

**when clouds of acid green smoke and a loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville had somehow managed to melt Seamus's cauldron into a twisted blob, and their potion was seeping across the stone floor, burning holes in people's shoes. **

"Impressive," said Remus.

**Within seconds, the whole class was standing on their stools while Neville, who had been drenched in the potion when the cauldron collapsed, moaned in pain as angry red boils sprang up all over his arms and legs.**

"Oooh… that's _got_ to hurt," said Lily, shaking her head.

"**Idiot boy!" snarled Snape, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand. "I suppose you added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire?"**

"Ah… yes that _would_ cause the potion to become acidic to all metals…" said Lily, as if to herself.

**Neville whimpered as boils started to pop up all over his nose.**

Everyone wrinkled their nose.

"**Take him up to the hospital wing," Snape spat at Seamus. Then he rounded on Harry and Ron, who had been working next to Neville.**

"**You — Potter — why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffindor."**

The Marauders (_especially_ Lily) gaped at this completely unfair treatment of Harry.

**This was so unfair that Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Ron kicked him behind their cauldron.**

"**Don't push it," he muttered, "I've heard Snape can turn very nasty."**

"You've _heard_?" said Ginny dryly.

**As they climbed the steps out of the dungeon an hour later, Harry's mind was racing and his spirits were low. He'd lost two points for Gryffindor in his very first week **

"Oh please. We lost _fifteen_ in our first _hour_ alone," said Sirius dismissively.

James nodded.

—_**why **_**did Snape hate him so much?**

"We'd be here 'till next Friday if we answered that," said James, sighing.

"**Cheer up," said Ron, "Snape's always taking points off Fred and George. Can I come and meet Hagrid with you?"**

Cindy giggled ("I did _not_!") at the quick change of subject.

**At five to three they left the castle and made their way across the grounds. Hagrid lived in a small wooden house on the edge of the forbidden forest. A crossbow and a pair of galoshes were outside the front door.**

"We know it well," said Remus, the other Marauders nodding.

Lily said nothing.

**When Harry knocked they heard a frantic scrabbling from inside and several booming barks. Then Hagrid's voice rang out, saying, "**_**Back**_**, Fang —**_**back**_**."**

**Hagrid's big, hairy face appeared in the crack as he pulled the door open.**

"**Hang on," he said. "**_**Back**_**, Fang."**

**He let them in, struggling to keep a hold on the collar of an enormous black boarhound.**

**There was only one room inside. Hams and pheasants were hanging from the ceiling, a copper kettle was boiling on the open fire, and in the corner stood a massive bed with a patchwork quilt over it.**

Everyone (minus Lily) smiled. They'd all been to Hagrid's house. Albeit, Cindy went to a very _slightly_ burned one, but it was his house nonetheless.

"**Make yerselves at home," said Hagrid, letting go of Fang, who bounded straight at Ron and started licking his ears. Like Hagrid, Fang was clearly not as fierce as he looked.**

"Looks can be deceiving," agreed Lily.

"Except when it comes to Snape," added Harry.

Lily glared at her son (_I guess she's _not_ over it, _thought Harry), who glared back, challenging her.

She sighed and gave up.

"**This is Ron," Harry told Hagrid, who was pouring boiling water into a large teapot and putting rock cakes onto a plate.**

"**Another Weasley, eh?" said Hagrid, glancing at Ron's freckles. "I spent half me life chasin' yer twin brothers away from the forest."**

The kids from the future smiled a little wistfully.

**The rock cakes were shapeless lumps with raisins that almost broke their teeth, but Harry and Ron pretended to be enjoying them as they told Hagrid all about their first lessons. **

"Avoid those at _all costs_!" said Sirius, twirling his finger in the air for emphasis.

Amused, the F.K.s all nodded.

**Fang rested his head on Harry's knee and drooled all over his robes.**

Harry wrinkled his nose, but said nothing.

**Harry and Ron were delighted to hear Hagrid call Filch "that old git."**

Everyone (minus… you should know by now) grinned.

"**An' as fer that cat, Mrs. Norris, I'd like ter introduce her to Fang sometime. D'yeh know, every time I go up ter the school, she follows me everywhere? Can't get rid of her — Filch puts her up to it."**

Everyone (yes, minus her) growled.

**Harry told Hagrid about Snape's lesson. Hagrid, like Ron, told Harry not to worry about it, that Snape liked hardly any of the students.**

"**But he seemed to really **_**hate **_**me."**

"**Rubbish!" said Hagrid. "Why should he?"**

"One of the more… um… '_less_ _intelligent'_ questions he's asked me…" said Harry.

**Yet Harry couldn't help thinking that Hagrid didn't quite meet his eyes when he said that.**

"Hmm… _very_ perceptive…" muttered Remus, so quietly that no one even glanced at him.

"**How's yer brother Charlie?" Hagrid asked Ron. "I liked him a lot — great with animals."**

"He would," smiled Ginny.

**Harry wondered if Hagrid had changed the subject on purpose. **

_Oh yes, _very_ perceptive. I don't think anything will get by him…_ thought Remus idly.

**While Ron told Hagrid all about Charlie's work with dragons, Harry picked up a piece of paper that was lying on the table under the tea cozy. It was a cutting from the **_**Daily Prophet**_**:**

_**GRINGOTTS BREAK-IN LATEST**_

_**Investigations continue into the break-in at Gringotts on 31 July, **_

"Harry's birthday," grinned Hermione.

_**widely believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown. Gringotts goblins today insisted that nothing had been taken. The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied the same day.**_

"_**But we're not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what's good for you," said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon.**_

**Harry remembered Ron telling him on the train that someone had tried to rob Gringotts, but Ron hadn't mentioned the date.**

"**Hagrid!" said Harry, "that Gringotts break-in happened on my birthday! It might've been happening while we were there!"**

"No _really_?" said Cindy dryly.

Everyone snickered at Harry's blushing face.

**There was no doubt about it, Hagrid definitely didn't meet Harry's eyes this time. He grunted and offered him another rock cake. **

"Which I promptly avoided," pointed out Harry.

**Harry read the story again. **_**The vault that was searched had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. **_**Hagrid had emptied vault seven hundred and thirteen, if you could call it emptying, taking out that grubby little package. Had that been what the thieves were looking for?**

Remus raised an eyebrow. Harry'd make a good Auror. He wondered if Harry'd ever considered that as a future career.

**As Harry and Ron walked back to the castle for dinner, their pockets weighed down with rock cakes they'd **

**been too polite to refuse, **

The F.K.s all glared at Harry, who shrugged.

"You're always so polite, said Ginny, slapping him on the arm affectionately.

Harry merely smiled.

**Harry thought that none of the lessons he'd had so far had given him as much to think about as tea with Hagrid. Had Hagrid collected that package just in time? Where was it now? And did Hagrid know something about Snape that he didn't want to tell Harry?**

Remus nodded. _He's _very_ observant._

Cindy clapped, gathering everyone's attention. "Alright all. Now let's take a break, go do our respective resting activities," Cindy shot Harry a meaningful look that no one but the glance-ee noticed. "And meet up in an hour. _Comprende_?"

Everyone nodded, and split up into their groups, Harry and Cindy going off into another room to… discuss… some things including one 7th year Severus Snape

*

**Cindy: GOOD LORD! YES! WE'RE DONE!**

**Lily: Congratulations.**

**Cindy: Er… yeah. Thanks.**

**Everyone else: *gives congrats to Cindy***

**Cindy: *glomps everyone else back***

**Harry: Cindy's decided to up the ante, and now she requires TEN, yes TEN reviews. T-E-N. DIEZ. J—**

**Cindy: *ahem* Yes, I think they get the point, Harry. **

**Harry: *pout* But I wanted to use my knowledge of other lang—**

**Cindy: Yes, yes, we all know. Now here, have a cookie and go away.**

**Harry: *takes cookie with dignity and walks away***

**Cindy: See you next time!**

**A/N:** As you can tell, I do NOT like Lily Evans. The only reason I like her is that James thinks she's cool, she's thereason Harry even exists, she looks like Ginny, and she has Harry's eyes. But note: I HATE LILY EVANS.

_**WARNING: ANTI-LILY EVANS RANT.**_

[RANT HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO POPULAR NEGATIVITY TOWARDS IT. I'M SORRY IF YOU WANTED TO READ IT. 8D]

(NOTE: Yes, I am _**Korean**_.)


	9. SHOULD I CONTINUE?

**Hello to all my old readers and welcome, new ones.**

**I'm here today to discuss something that's been on my mind for… oh… nine hours. xD**

**I have a choice coming up for all of you.**

**You can only vote once, or not at all. (Translation: You don't have to vote, but I'd appreciate it)**

**See, the thing is, this fic has become… oh… tedious. I'm kind of losing interest in this one. (And… I have so many plot bunnies bouncing around in my poor over-crowded brain, that it's becoming hectic.)**

**SO! Here are your/my choices for you.**

*****

**YES PLEASE CONTINUE**

**This means you want me to do all the books, **_**every**_** single [stinking] chapter.**

**I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DID BOOK/CHAPTER…**

**This means that you don't **_**really**_** want me to do **_**all**_** the chapters (I LOVE YOU! 8D) for all the books, but want me to do a ****specific**** book/chapter in a book. If you choose this one, please put in the chapter (**_**WITH THE BOOK NUMBER**_**) /book that you want me to do.**

**UH…**

**This means you don't really care either way. (… thanks. -__-;;)**

**WELL, SEE, THE THING IS…**

**You don't really want me to continue, but it's okay if I do. (…)**

**NO! DON'T DO IT, MATE! QUICKLY TURN THE COMPUTER OFF AND LEAVE THE AREA**

**In short: You hate this fic, and please for the love of GOD stop writing it. (… *sniffle*)**

*****

**Sorry for the long as hell Author's Note, and if you've read everything, well, here's a sneak peak into the next chapter, which ****I WILL FINISH****.**

**PREVIEW FOR NEXT TIME!**

"Uh… who was supposed to read after Ginny?" asked Ron.

"Hmm… oh! It was Hermione!" said Lily, pointing at Hermione.

Harry swiped the book from Ginny and leaned over her to give it to Hermione, causing Ginny to turn slightly pink.

Cindy had a smug look on her face.

"Ahem… yes… well…" said Hermione, and she began.

**  
Thanks to all my faithful (psh, yeah right) readers, see you next time!**

**-Cindy**

**(OH, by the way, if you want to vote, go to my profile and vote on the POLL, please. 8D)**

_**EDIT**_: SCREW THE POLL! VOTE BY REVIEWS! 8D (Even if it does make my life just that much harder...)

Results will be shown on **SATURDAY**! So people! GET YOUR ASSES MOVING AND THE REVIEWS STEWING! (stewing...?)


	10. VOTING RESULTS

Most of you want me to do all the damn chapters.

_WHY?!_

*headdesk* Oh, I _know_ I'm going to lose sleep over this.

I've decided to _skip_ the boring-as-hell, unimportant chapters.

_SCREW_ THE VOTING! DX

Sorry people, but I can't do it no more. DDx

So! I'm only going to put in hilarious/serious/important/interesting/stuff that catches my eye, aye? XD

Sorry all, and maybe I'll decide to rewrite this sooner or later and do _all_ the damn chapters like you want me to.

So.

Thank you all (well those who voted) for your views.

Sorry.

-RevengeoftheForsaken

**YOU KNOW WHAT?! SCREW EVERYTHING I'VE SAID UP TO THIS POINT! 8DD**

**I'M GOING TO DO ALL OF THEM! YEAH! SINCE YOU ALL VOTED INTO A LANDSLIDE, I'LL DO IT!**

**YEAH!**

**FORGET WHAT I PUT UP THERE!**

**I'M GOING TO DO IT! YEAAAAH! BECOME AN INSOMNIAC!**

**WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO**!

**INSANITY ASYLUM, HERE I COME! 8DD**


	11. AN and a MINIFIC! 8D

**Holy mother effin' shiz. **

**Sorry for not updating in a WHILE, but I promise a new chapter's going to be up by this weekend.**

**Sorry for the long wait, but school's a bitch. XD;**

'**Specially the homework + tests + projects + GPA + Band concerts + competitions + general stress over life + MY EPICALLY HORRIBLE LUCK THAT WILL ONE DAY GET ME KILLED.**

**Now, to sate your thirst for some stories, here's a lil' mini-fic. XD;**

**Enjoy!**

**|***|**

"Like total _whoa_. Is this really _f'real_?" said Harry, tapping the screen of your computer.

"Yes, it's for real, Harry!" shouts a voice that you have never heard before. (Or have you?) Ah, wait. Yes, it _is_ Cindy. (I lied. Cindy's _not_ my real name. XD!!! Take _THAT_, inter-web-people-stalkers!) Oh. Then never mind. It's _not_ Cindy. Um… Who are you?

"Someone. Eh. Don't give a shiz-nit what you call me. The Great One Who Likes to Procrastinate?"

…

"… no?"

… yeah. Right. Like I'm going to call you _that_.

"I don't think that's going to fly with them… uh…" Harry blinked. What do we call her?

"Call me… uh… THE PEN?!" screamed… uh… 'The Pen' excitedly.

"…" Harry just stared.

"That's a no too." [ ? ] frowned. "I need a name."

Yes. Yes you do.

"Speaking of which, who are you?" asked [ ? ] with a curious look on her face.

Me?

Harry rolled his eyes and plopped down on the dusty couch. He sneezed. "Damn this place needs a dusting…" he muttered. "Stupid [ ? ] for not posting. The whole place's gone down the drain. The economy's crashing, Ginny's gettin' hitched with Neville[1]—which is good, they're perfect for each other—so is Draco and Luna[2]—uncanny pair, never thought it would be possible—and George's gone and joined Fred[3]. Funeral's next Friday…"

All this went unnoticed by the arguing two.

"I say you're in need of a name as well!" said [ ](… ah I'm just callin' m'self Fox until I get a name.) Fox, heatedly.

And I say _you_ need a name!

"Why don't we give each other names?" suggested Fox, grinning slyly.

I refuse to even think of such a thing.

"I'm hurt, Voice." Pouted Fox.

Wonderful.

Fox swiftly turned on her heel, huffing and left the room, banging the door behind her. She then walked back into the room holding _Daja's Book_ by Tamora Pierce and began reading.

Am I being ignored?

"Yes." Fox said, and continued to read.

Suddenly a random purple elephant in a ballerina holding a firecracker appeared out of nowhere and started to dance like a drunk hippo.

"…" Harry gaped.

Fox turned the page.

And I am narrating. :D

Speaking of which, shouldn't you be doing homework right now, Fox?

"Yes." She continued to read.

… And…?

"… and?" replied Fox, eyes bulging. "Whoa, an iron-tree. Cool. It's a branchin' out and shit…"

You're hopeless.

"I agree with you entirely." Nodded Fox, and turned the page.

Harry continued to gape at the elephant, who moved onto doing the polka by itself.

"Is anyone going to…" he trailed off as the Voice and Fox ignored him. He silently continued to stare at the elephant.

This continued on for quite some while.

Now, dear readers, I have a question for you.

"You mean _we_ have a question, Voice!" said Fox without looking up.

Should Fox keep the name Fox or should she have something different? She's indecisive and all… you know…

"Shut up!" pouted Fox, and flipped the page.

Please comment with your suggestions!

|***|

TBC.

[1] - This pairing is ADORABLE.

[2] - So is this one.

[3] - A mercy killing. George without Fred is like a puzzle with half the pieces missing. :D I thought he'd me more happy this way. :]


	12. The Midnight Duel

"**Ooh… your criticisms fascinate me…" said Fox, stroking a non-existent mustache.**

"**Huh? Oh, yeah. It is going to be cannon… except for the RemusxTonks. He will stay single," said Fox, nodding. "Sorry people. But I just don't like that pairing. Tonks and Remus are awesome when they aren't together."**

"**Ah… and yes, my Lily Rant. Well… it's just… I was feeling pissed off at the world in general and I felt like unloading on one poor, poor Lily Evans," Fox shook her head and patted Lily on the shoulder consolingly. "Sorry there, man."**

**Lily looked affronted. "**_**Man**_**? I am no ma—"**

"**American slang, girl. American slang," said Fox.**

"**OH! And no one really told me what a ****peanut gallery**** was… please um… can someone tell me?" asked a very confused Fox.**

"**Ah, and yes, someone spoke about me ****'controlling the characters'**** and ****'writing only for reviews and such'****. Well that's not true. Yes, I love getting reviews. Negative or not. But I love writing. It's a hobby for me, and, well, it's **_**really**_** insulting when you say things like that," said Fox, frowning. "but I see where you're coming from. And, yes, due to this, ****I will probably kill off myself/make myself leave in a couple chapters**** or so.**

"**Uh… hm… well… yeah. So. Um. Enjoy!" said Fox, sweatdropping.**

*

"Uh… who was supposed to read after Ginny?" asked Ron.

"Hmm… oh! It was Hermione!" said Lily, pointing at Hermione.

Harry swiped the book from Ginny and leaned over her to give it to Hermione, causing Ginny to turn slightly pink.

Fox had a smug look on her face.

"Ahem… yes… well…" said Hermione, and she began.

**THE MIDNIGHT DUEL **

**Harry had never believed he would meet a boy he hated more than Dudley, but that was before he met Draco Malfoy. **

"Never trust a Malfoy!" said Ron hotly. Fox gave him her best 'I-Am-Going-To-Kill-You-If-You-Don't-Shut-Up-Right-_NOW'_ Glare of Doom™.

Ron meekly shrunk under her glare.

Everyone snickered.

**Still, first-year Gryffindors only had Potions with the Slytherins, so they didn't have to put up with Malfoy much. Or at least, they didn't until they spotted a notice pinned up in the Gryffindor common room that made them all groan. Flying lessons would be starting on Thursday **

"Well that's not so bad," said Sirius.

"You didn't let me finish," said Hermione dryly.

Sirius blushed.

— **and Gryffindor and Slytherin would be learning together. **

"Typical," sighed James.

Harry stared at him.

"What?" asked James.

"**Typical," said Harry darkly. **

James blinked.

"Do you guys share the same brain-wave or…?" said Fox, amused.

"Oh shut up, Fox," muttered Harry.

Fox grinned innocently.

"Fox?" asked Ron.

"See the previous chapter," said Ginny absently.

"Oh," said Ron. _Chapter? What? What chapter?_

"**Just what I always wanted. To make a fool of myself on a broomstick in front of Malfoy." **

"Oh you won't make a fool out of yourself. You've got the Potter Flying Genes," said James.

"Oh I can just imagine the capitals," snickered Fox.

"No… no more _capitals_…" moaned Harry.

"Huh?" said Lily.

Ginny began ticking them off her fingers. "The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One,"—The Marauders snorted behind their fingers—"Scarhead—_real_ original, that one…"

"Oh! Oh!" said Fox, grinning. "You can't forget the _other_ ones!"

"What other ones?" asked Ron. "I thought that was it!"

Harry grinned, catching on. "You forgot The Boy Who Won't Bloody _Die_, and Tom's Worst Nightmare."

Everyone burst into laughter.

**He had been looking forward to learning to fly more than anything else. **

"I'm proud of you son," said James, fake gruffly. He puffed his chest out and said, "The Potter Flying Genes!"

"I'll show you the P.F.G.s if you don't shut up right _now_," glared Fox, gesturing to the window.

James shut up.

"**You don't know that you'll make a fool of yourself," said Ron reasonably. "Anyway, I know Malfoy's always going on about how good he is at Quidditch, but I bet that's all talk." **

"Lucius Malfoy—Slytherin's worst Beater," grinned Remus.

**Malfoy certainly did talk about flying a lot. He complained loudly about first years never getting on the house Quidditch teams**

The F.K.s shared a smile. Fox grinned and whispered to Harry, "But nothing's impossible for the Harry Potter, eh?"

Harry glared at her half-heartedly.

**and told long, boastful stories that always seemed to end with him narrowly escaping Muggles in helicopters. He wasn't the only one, though: the way Seamus Finnigan told it, he'd spent most of his childhood zooming around the countryside on his broomstick. Even Ron would tell anyone who'd listen about the time he'd almost hit a hang glider on Charlie's old broom. Everyone from wizarding families talked about Quidditch constantly. Ron had already had a big argument with Dean Thomas, who shared their dormitory, about soccer. Ron couldn't see what was exciting about a game with only one ball where no one was allowed to fly. Harry had caught Ron prodding Dean's poster of West Ham soccer team, trying to make the players move. **

"WE SWORE AN OATH NOT TO REVEAL THAT!" shouted Ron hotly.

"No. _You_ swore an oath. We just watched you make a fool of yourself and took pictures for blackmail material," said Harry smugly. Hermione grinned at Ron's red face.

**Neville had never been on a broomstick in his life, because his grandmother had never let him near one. Privately, Harry felt she'd had good reason, because Neville managed to have an extraordinary number of accidents even with both feet on the ground. **

Harry shrugged at the accusing stares (minus Fox, she was laughing too hard) sent his way. "_What?_ The poor guy _tripped_ over an _invisible rock_ in the middle of an _empty corridor."_

**Hermione Granger was almost as nervous about flying as Neville was. This was something you couldn't learn by heart out of a book — not that she hadn't tried. At breakfast on Thursday she bored them all stupid with flying tips she'd gotten out of a library book called **_**Quidditch Through the Ages**_**. **

"What?" said Harry and Ron, shifting uncomfortably under Hermione's glare.

**Neville was hanging on to her every word, desperate for anything that might help him hang on to his broomstick later, but everybody else was very pleased when Hermione's lecture was interrupted by the arrival of the mail. **

Hermione sniffed, insulted.

**Harry hadn't had a single letter since Hagrid's note, something that Malfoy had been quick to notice, of course. Malfoy's eagle owl was always bringing him packages of sweets from home, which he opened gloatingly at the Slytherin table. **

"Had to hold Ron back from physically rearranging Malfoy's face with a fork," said Harry, lazily looking at Ron, amused.

They snickered.

**A barn owl brought Neville a small package from his grandmother. He opened it excitedly and showed them a glass ball the size of a large marble, which seemed to be full of white smoke. **

"**It's a Remembrall!" he explained. "Gran knows I forget things — this tells you if there's something you've forgotten to do. Look, you hold it tight like this and if it turns red — oh…" His face fell, because the Remembrall had suddenly glowed scarlet, "…you've forgotten something…" **

"We neve did find out what he forgot…" mused Hermione.

**Neville was trying to remember what he'd forgotten when Draco Malfoy, who was passing the Gryffindor table, snatched the Remembrall out of his hand. **

**Harry and Ron jumped to their feet. They were half hoping for a reason to fight Malfoy, but Professor McGonagall, who could spot trouble quicker than any teacher in the school, was there in a flash. **

"How she does that is beyond me," said Sirius.

Everyone nodded fervently.

"**What's going on?" **

"**Malfoy's got my Remembrall, Professor." **

**Scowling, Malfoy quickly dropped the Remembrall back on the table. **

"**Just looking," he said, and he sloped away with Crabbe and Goyle behind him. **

"'Just looking' my grandmother's mean old arse!" said Sirius.

**At three-thirty that afternoon, Harry, Ron, and the other Gryffindors hurried down the front steps onto the grounds for their first flying lesson. It was a clear, breezy day, and the grass rippled under their feet as they marched down the sloping lawns toward a smooth, flat lawn on the opposite side of the grounds to the forbidden forest, whose trees were swaying darkly in the distance. **

**The Slytherins were already there, and so were twenty broomsticks lying in neat lines on the ground. Harry had heard Fred and George Weasley complain about the school brooms, saying that some of them started to vibrate if you flew too high, or always flew slightly to the left. **

**Their teacher, Madam Hooch, arrived. She had short, gray hair, and yellow eyes like a hawk. **

"She's da BOMB!" cheered Fox, jumping up and pumping her fists.

Everyone stared at her blankly.

"American slang, read on," said Fox, smiling to herself as she urged Hermione.

"**Well, what are you all waiting for?" she barked. "Everyone stand by a broomstick. Come on, hurry up." **

**Harry glanced down at his broom. It was old and some of the twigs stuck out at odd angles. **

"You don't think…" trailed off Remus, smirking.

"It could be…" continued Sirius, smirking as well.

"No way," finished James, a grin breaking out on his face.

"What?" said Fox excitedly.

"We jinxed a certain broom to become a porcupine in the middle of a game. Never the same since," grinned Remus.

Everyone laughed.

"Nott stayed out of our way from then, though," laughed Sirius, causing a fresh round of laughter.

"**Stick out your right hand over your broom," called Madam Hooch at the front, "and say 'Up!'" **

"**UP" everyone shouted. **

**Harry's broom jumped into his hand at once, but it was one of the few that did.**

"THE POTTER—Okay! Okay! I'm stopping!" said James meekly, after Lily had thrown a Green Eyed Glare of DOOM™.

**Hermione Granger's had simply rolled over on the ground, and Neville's hadn't moved at all. Perhaps brooms, like horses, could tell when you were afraid, thought Harry; there was a quaver in Neville's voice that said only too clearly that he wanted to keep his feet on the ground. **

**Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end, and walked up and down the rows correcting their grips. Harry and Ron were delighted when she told Malfoy he'd been doing it wrong for years. **

Harry and Ron grinned at each other.

"**Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come straight back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle — three — two —" **

**But Neville, nervous and jumpy and frightened of being left on the ground, pushed off hard before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips. **

"Poor ol' chap," said James, shaking his head.

"**Come back, boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork shot out of a bottle — twelve feet — twenty feet. Harry saw his scared white face look down at the ground falling away, saw him gasp, slip sideways off the broom and — **

**WHAM — a thud and a nasty crack and Neville lay facedown on the grass in a heap. His broomstick was still rising higher and higher, and started to drift lazily toward the forbidden forest and out of sight. **

Lily gasped, clapping her hands to her mouth.

"OH NOES!" gasped Fox. "NEVILLE! MAH HOMEBOI!"

"Homeb—oh, nevermind," huffed Hermione.

**Madam Hooch was bending over Neville, her face as white as his. **

"**Broken wrist," Harry heard her mutter. "Come on, boy — it's all right, up you get." **

**She turned to the rest of the class. **

"**None of you is to move while I take this boy to the hospital wing! You leave those brooms where they are or you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can say 'Quidditch.' Come on, dear." **

**Neville, his face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist, hobbled off with Madam Hooch, who had her arm around him. **

**No sooner were they out of earshot than Malfoy burst into laughter. **

"Oh you better be glad I'm not there now, Ferret Face," glared Ginny.

"**Did you see his face, the great lump?" **

**The other Slytherins joined in. **

"**Shut up, Malfoy," snapped Parvati Patil. **

"**Ooh, sticking up for Longbottom?" said Pansy Parkinson, a hard-faced Slytherin girl. "Never thought **_**you'd **_**like fat little crybabies, Parvati." **

"**Look!" said Malfoy, darting forward and snatching something out of the grass. "It's that stupid thing Longbottom's gran sent him." **

**The Remembrall glittered in the sun as he held it up. **

"**Give that here, Malfoy," said Harry quietly. Everyone stopped talking to watch. **

"STANDING IN THE LEFT CORNER, REPRESENTING THE GRYFFINDORS, HARRY JAMES _PO-TTEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR_!" cried out Fox in an announcers voice, jumping into the middle of the circle of readers with a mic in her hand. The others looked on in amusement.

Everyone (minus Fox and Harry) shouted, "HA-RRY! HA-RRY! HA-RRY!"

"IN THE RIGHT CORNER, REPRESENTING THE SLIMY GITS—UH, I MEAN THE SLYTHERINS!" shouted Ginny, jumping into the center with Fox and picking up another mic. Everyone roared with laughter; Fox and Ginny grinned. "DRACONIS ABRAXAS _MAL-FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY_!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted James and Sirius.

"LET THE MATCH, BE-GINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" shouted Fox, screaming into the mic.

Everyone cheered.

**Malfoy smiled nastily. **

"**I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find — how about — up a tree?" **

"MALFOY MAKES THE FIRST MOVE, JABBING AN INSULT AT POTTER'S CLOSE FRIEND! WHAT WILL POTTER DO TO RETALIATE?!" cried Fox, a wild look in her eyes.

Everyone went wild, screaming insults at Malfoy. Hermione grinned, and continued to read amid the screaming.

"**Give it **_**here**_**!" Harry yelled, **

"HARRY RETALIATES WITH A COMMAND! MALFOY TAKES THE BAIT!" shouted Ginny.

**but Malfoy had leapt onto his broomstick and taken off. He hadn't been lying, he **_**could **_**fly well. Hovering level with the topmost branches of an oak he called, "Come and get it, Potter!" **

"BUT NO! MALFOY IS NOT DONE! POINT TO MALFOY FOR STYLE, POINT TO POTTER FOR LOYALTY!" cheered Fox.

Everyone started to go wild, screaming.

**Harry grabbed his broom. **

"_**No!" **_**shouted Hermione Granger. "Madam Hooch told us not to move — you'll get us all into trouble." **

"COACH HERMIONE BEGS HARRY TO STOP!" shouted Ginny. "WHAT WILL HARRY DO?!"

**Harry ignored her. **

"IGNORING THE COACH, HARRY PUSHES ON!" whooped Fox.

"HA-RRY! HA-RRY! HA-RRY! HA-RRY! HA-RRY!" cheered the readers.

**Blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared; air rushed through his hair, and his robes whipped out behind him — and in a rush of fierce joy he realized he'd found something he could do without being taught — this was easy, this was **_**wonderful**_**. **

"POINT TO HARRY FOR BEING AWESOME ON A BROOM!" laughed Ginny.

Everyone laughed with her.

**He pulled his broomstick up a little to take it even higher, and heard screams and gasps of girls back on the ground and an admiring whoop from Ron. **

**He turned his broomstick sharply to face Malfoy in midair. Malfoy looked stunned. **

"YEAH! GO HARRY!" cheered James.

"THAT'S MAH BAYBEH RIGHT THERE!" whooped Lily.

They all stared.

Sirius said: "I knew you were a closet Quidditch fan."

They burst into laughter.

Fox looked at her watch. She frowned.

"**Give it here," Harry called, "or I'll knock you off that broom!" **

"**Oh, yeah?" said Malfoy, trying to sneer, but looking worried. **

"Oh yeah you better be!" said Sirius.

**Harry knew, somehow, what to do. He leaned forward and grasped the broom tightly in both hands, and it shot toward Malfoy like a javelin. Malfoy only just got out of the way in time; Harry made a sharp about-face and held the broom steady. A few people below were clapping. **

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted James.

"GO HARRY!" followed Sirius.

"_Boys_," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

"**No Crabbe and Goyle up here to save your neck, Malfoy," Harry called. **

**The same thought seemed to have struck Malfoy. **

Much eye-rolling and sighing filled the room.

"**Catch it if you can, then!" he shouted, and he threw the glass ball high into the air and streaked back toward the ground. **

**Harry saw, as though in slow motion, the ball rise up in the air and then start to fall. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down — next second he was gathering speed in a steep dive, racing the ball — wind whistled in his ears, mingled with the screams of people watching — he stretched out his hand — a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled gently onto the grass with the Remembrall clutched safely in his fist. **

Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus gaped. Harry and Ron high-fived.

"**HARRY POTTER!" **

**His heart sank faster than he'd just dived. Professor McGonagall was running toward them. He got to his feet, trembling. **

"Oh no, it's _McGonagall_. _Running_. Towards _Harry_," said Ginny, placing a hand to her forehead and fainting all over the floor dramatically.

They all snickered.

"_**Never **_**— in all my time at Hogwarts —" **

"—have you ever seen such _awesome_ flying!" said Sirius, nodding.

**Professor McGonagall was almost speechless with shock, and her glasses flashed furiously, "— how **_**dare **_**you — might have broken your neck —" **

Lily seemed to come to the same conclusion. Her eyes bulged.

"**It wasn't his fault, Professor —" **

"**Be quiet, Miss Patil —" **

"**But Malfoy —" **

"**That's **_**enough**_**, Mr. Weasley. Potter, follow me, now." **

**Harry caught sight of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle's triumphant faces as he left, walking numbly in Professor McGonagall's wake as she strode toward the castle. He was going to be expelled, he just knew it. He wanted to say something to defend himself, but there seemed to be something wrong with his voice. Professor McGonagall was sweeping along without even looking at him; he had to jog to keep up. Now he'd done it. He hadn't even lasted two weeks. He'd be packing his bags in ten minutes. What would the Dursleys say when he turned up on the doorstep? **

"'Why hello, boy. Seems as if they've rejected you too. Probably 'cuz you're so _awesome_!'" said Fox in a low, gruff manly-man-voice.

Everyone burst into laughter.

**Up the front steps, up the marble staircase inside, and still Professor McGonagall didn't say a word to him. She wrenched open doors and marched along corridors with Harry trotting miserably behind her. **

"Like an executioner leading the to-be-executed to the gallows." Hermione said, looking thoughtfully into the distance.

Ron stared at her, mouth agape.

**Maybe she was taking him to Dumbledore. He thought of Hagrid, expelled but allowed to stay on as gamekeeper. Perhaps he could be Hagrid's assistant. His stomach twisted as he imagined it, watching Ron and the others becoming wizards, while he stumped around the grounds carrying Hagrid's bag. **

"Overdramatic, much?" said Fox drily.

Harry smiled sheepishly.

**Professor McGonagall stopped outside a classroom. She opened the door and poked her head inside. **

"**Excuse me, Professor Flitwick, could I borrow Wood for a moment?" **

"Yes. I have a stack right over here," said Ginny in a poor imitation of Prof. Flitwick.

**Wood? thought Harry, bewildered; was Wood a cane she was going to use on him? **

"!" cackled Fox and Sirius.

**But Wood turned out to be a person, a burly fifth-year boy who came out of Flitwick's class looking confused. **

"Pfft. A _cane_." James snickered.

Harry refused to comment, huffing.

"**Follow me, you two," said Professor McGonagall, and they marched on up the corridor, Wood looking curiously at Harry. **

"It's the scar, _right?_" said Lily, rolling her eyes.

"**In here." **

**Professor McGonagall pointed them into a classroom that was empty except for Peeves, who was busy writing rude words on the blackboard. **

"Like what?" asked Sirius.

"Maybe… f—" Fox was stopped by an incoming smack from Hermione/Lily. "OW!" she pouted, rubbing her arm.

Hermione and Lily said simultaneously: "PROFANITY!"

"**Out, Peeves!" she barked. Peeves threw the chalk into a bin, which clanged loudly, and he swooped out cursing. Professor McGonagall slammed the door behind him and turned to face the two boys. **

"**Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood — I've found you a Seeker." **

James and Sirius nearly keeled over.

Remus's caramel eyes glittered in amusement.

**Wood's expression changed from puzzlement to delight. **

"MUAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!" cackled James, Sirius joining in soon after.

"**Are you serious, Professor?" **

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the warning glares of everyone else.

"I said nothing!" he pouted.

"**Absolutely," said Professor McGonagall crisply. "The boy's a natural. I've never seen anything like it. Was that your first time on a broomstick, Potter?" **

Fox snickered. (A/N: Sorry. Perverted mind. XD!) Sirius's eyes widened in realization. The two had to excuse themselves into a separate room. Loud and separated insane laughter was heard after a moment.

The others stared at the closed door, wondering what they were laughing about.

**Harry nodded silently. He didn't have a clue what was going on, but he didn't seem to be being expelled, and some of the feeling started coming back to his legs. **

The insane cackling/guffawing/etc. got even _louder_.

"**He caught that thing in his hand after a fifty-foot dive," Professor McGonagall told Wood. "Didn't even scratch himself. Charlie Weasley couldn't have done it." **

The laughter turned into wheezing, hacking coughs, with giggles and snickers smattered here and there.

"BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!"

The others stared at the door, blinked, and shook their heads in exasperation.

**Wood was now looking as though all his dreams had come true at once. **

"**Ever seen a game of Quidditch, Potter?" he asked excitedly. **

"**Wood's captain of the Gryffindor team," Professor McGonagall explained. **

"**He's just the build for a Seeker, too," said Wood, now walking around Harry and staring at him. "Light —speedy — we'll have to get him a decent broom, Professor — a Nimbus Two Thousand or a Cleansweep Seven, I'd say." **

The laughter started to die down.

"**I shall speak to Professor Dumbledore and see if we can't bend the first-year rule. Heaven knows, we need a better team than last year. **_**Flattened **_**in that last match by Slytherin, I couldn't look Severus Snape in the face for weeks…" **

Everyone—especially the Marauders + Lily—gasped in shock.

Fox and Sirius returned.

Much weird staring ensued.

**Professor McGonagall peered sternly over her glasses at Harry. **

"**I want to hear you're training hard, Potter, or I may change my mind about punishing you." **

Fox and Sirius's face got red with contained laughter.

**Then she suddenly smiled. **

"**Your father would have been proud," she said. "He was an excellent Quidditch player himself." **

"**You're **_**joking**_**." **

"I am vaguely insulted," huffed James.

**It was dinnertime. Harry had just finished telling Ron what had happened when he'd left the grounds with Professor McGonagall. Ron had a piece of steak and kidney pie halfway to his mouth, but he'd forgotten all about it. **

"_RON?_ Forget about _FOOD?_" said Ginny, mouth falling open.

Ron blushed.

"_**Seeker**_**?" he said. "But first years **_**never **_**— you must be the youngest house player in about —" **

" — **a century," said Harry, shoveling pie into his mouth. He felt particularly hungry after the excitement of the afternoon. "Wood told me." **

**Ron was so amazed, so impressed, he just sat and gaped at Harry. **

"A class-A example of a Ron Weasley looking like a dead fish," said Hermione.

"**I start training next week," said Harry. "Only don't tell anyone, Wood wants to keep it a secret." **

**Fred and George Weasley now came into the hall, spotted Harry, and hurried over. **

"**Well done," said George in a low voice. "Wood told us. We're on the team too — Beaters." **

"I'm telling you, they're our reincarnations!" said Sirius.

James nodded fervently.

"**I tell you, we're going to win that Quidditch cup for sure this year," said Fred. "We haven't won since Charlie left, but this year's team is going to be brilliant. You must be good, Harry, Wood was almost skipping when he told us." **

"Like a _girl?_" asked Remus.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all nodded.

They guffawed.

"**Anyway, we've got to go, Lee Jordan reckons he's found a new secret passageway out of the school." **

Remus, Sirius, and James' mouths were in an 'O' shape.

"**Bet it's that one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy that we found in our first week. See you." **

Eyebrows raised.

**Fred and George had hardly disappeared when someone far less welcome turned up: Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. **

"**Having a last meal, Potter? When are you getting the train back to the Muggles?" **

"Speaking of Muggles… how 'bout I do an old-fashioned Muggle fight with you, Blondie?" muttered Fox to herself. Draco was an awesome kind of guy in the future, but here, he was an ultimate dou—uh… dunce-bat. Yes. (A/N: XD!)

"**You're a lot braver now that you're back on the ground and you've got your little friends with you," said Harry coolly. **

"Ooh… _burn_," said everyone simultaneously.

**There was of course nothing at all little about Crabbe and Goyle, but as the High Table was full of teachers, neither of them could do more than crack their knuckles and scowl. **

"**I'd take you on anytime on my own," said Malfoy. "Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only — no contact. What's the matter? Never heard of a wizard's duel before, I suppose?" **

"Again with the Muggle-fight," said Fox.

"**Of course he has," said Ron, wheeling around. "I'm his second, who's yours?" **

**Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up. **

"They're both giant lumps of meat, what do you need to size them up for?" grumbled Lily.

The girls all high-fived.

"**Crabbe," he said. "Midnight all right? We'll meet you in the trophy room; that's always unlocked." **

**When Malfoy had gone, Ron and Harry looked at each other. **

"**What is a wizard's duel?" said Harry. "And what do you mean, you're my second?" **

"In command?" said Fox.

"**Well, a second's there to take over if you die," said Ron casually, getting started at last on his cold pie. **

"You don't just say: 'Oh I'm your _if-you-die-I-fight-in-your-place_ person. Please pass the salt'!" said Hermione, smacking Ron upside the head.

**Catching the look on Harry's face, he added quickly, "But people only die in proper duels, you know, with real wizards. The most you and Malfoy'll be able to do is send sparks at each other. Neither of you knows enough magic to do any real damage. I bet he expected you to refuse, anyway." **

Harry's eye twitched.

"**And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" **

"**Throw it away and punch him on the nose," Ron suggested. **

"The proper way to fight," nodded Sirius.

Fox and Sirius high-fived.

"**Excuse me." **

**They both looked up. It was Hermione Granger. **

"**Can't a person eat in peace in this place?" said Ron. **

**Hermione ignored him and spoke to Harry. **

"**I couldn't help overhearing what you and Malfoy were saying —" **

"**Bet you could," Ron muttered. **

Hermione sent a venomous glare his way.

"— **and you **_**mustn't **_**go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you'll lose Gryffindor if you're caught, and you're bound to be. It's really very selfish of you." **

"Selfish? _Harry?" _said Ginny, baffled.

Harry turned beet red while Hermione scratched her head sheepishly.

Everyone else burst into laughter.

"**And it's really none of your business," said Harry. **

"**Good-bye," said Ron. **

**All the same, it wasn't what you'd call the perfect end to the day, Harry thought, as he lay awake much later listening to Dean and Seamus falling asleep (Neville wasn't back from the hospital wing). Ron had spent all evening giving him advice such as "If he tries to curse you, you'd better dodge it, because I can't remember how to block them." **

"Right, thanks mate for the wonderful advice," said Harry drily.

Ron merely shrugged.

**There was a very good chance they were going to get caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris, and Harry felt he was pushing his luck, breaking another school rule today. On the other hand, Malfoy's sneering face kept looming up out of the darkness — this was his big chance to beat Malfoy face-to-face. He couldn't miss it. **

Lily shook her head in disappointment.

"**Half-past eleven," Ron muttered at last, "we'd better go." **

"Why don't you guys just say 11:30? Why go the long way?" said Fox, frowning.

Everyone shrugged. Fox's frown curled ever more downward.

**They pulled on their bathrobes, picked up their wands, and crept across the tower room, down the spiral staircase, and into the Gryffindor common room. A few embers were still glowing in the fireplace, turning all the armchairs into hunched black shadows. They had almost reached the portrait hole when a voice spoke from the chair nearest them, "I can't believe you're going to do this, Harry." **

**A lamp flickered on. It was Hermione Granger, wearing a pink bathrobe and a frown. **

"_Pink_," shuddered Fox.

"_**You!**_**" said Ron furiously. "Go back to bed!" **

"**I almost told your brother," Hermione snapped, "Percy — he's a prefect, he'd put a stop to this." **

**Harry couldn't believe anyone could be so interfering. **

Harry shied under Hermione's glare.

"**Come on," he said to Ron. He pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady and climbed through the hole. **

**Hermione wasn't going to give up that easily. She followed Ron through the portrait hole, hissing at them like an angry goose. **

"An angry _what?_" shrieked Hermione.

"**Don't you **_**care **_**about Gryffindor, do you **_**only **_**care about yourselves, **

"Again with the _Harry_ caring for himself?" demanded Ginny.

_**I **_**don't want Slytherin to win the house cup, and you'll lose all the points I got from Professor McGonagall for knowing about Switching Spells." **

"**Go away." **

"**All right, but I warned you, you just remember what I said when you're on the train home tomorrow, you're so —" **

**But what they were, they didn't find out. Hermione had turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady to get back inside and found herself facing an empty painting. The Fat Lady had gone on a nighttime visit and Hermione was locked out of Gryffindor tower. **

"**Now what am I going to do?" she asked shrilly. **

"You're like a pre-Marauder Lily," said Remus in amusement.

Lily huffed.

"**That's your problem," said Ron. "We've got to go, we're going to be late." **

**They hadn't even reached the end of the corridor when Hermione caught up with them. **

"**I'm coming with you," she said. **

"**You are **_**not**_**." **

"**D'you think I'm going to stand out here and wait for Filch to catch me? If he finds all three of us I'll tell him the truth, that I was trying to stop you, and you can back me up." **

"**You've got some nerve —" said Ron loudly. **

"**Shut up, both of you!" said Harry sharply. "I heard something." **

"Sharp ears," said James.

**It was a sort of snuffling. **

"**Mrs. Norris?" breathed Ron, squinting through the dark. **

**It wasn't Mrs. Norris. It was Neville. He was curled up on the floor, fast asleep, but jerked suddenly awake as they crept nearer. **

"**Thank goodness you found me! I've been out here for hours, I couldn't remember the new password to get in to bed." **

"He never does," said Ginny fondly.

"**Keep your voice down, Neville. The password's 'Pig snout' but it won't help you now, the Fat Lady's gone off somewhere." **

"**How's your arm?" said Harry. **

"**Fine," said Neville, showing them. "Madam Pomfrey mended it in about a minute." **

Harry frowned, remembering his second year. _Stupid overly-arrogant _idiotic_ Lockhart. _

"**Good — well, look, Neville, we've got to be somewhere, we'll see you later —" **

"**Don't leave me!" said Neville, scrambling to his feet, "I don't want to stay here alone, the Bloody Baron's been past twice already." **

**Ron looked at his watch and then glared furiously at Hermione and Neville. **

"**If either of you get us caught, I'll never rest until I've learned that Curse of the Bogies Quirrell told us about, and used it on you." **

"Isn't that…" Fox trailed off, looking at Ginny.

**Hermione opened her mouth, perhaps to tell Ron exactly how to use the Curse of the Bogies, but Harry hissed at her to be quiet and beckoned them all forward. **

**They flitted along corridors striped with bars of moonlight from the high windows. At every turn Harry expected to run into Filch or Mrs. Norris, but they were lucky. They sped up a staircase to the third floor and tiptoed toward the trophy room. **

**Malfoy and Crabbe weren't there yet. The crystal trophy cases glimmered where the moonlight caught them. Cups, shields, plates, and statues winked silver and gold in the darkness. They edged along the walls, keeping their eyes on the doors at either end of the room. Harry took out his wand in case Malfoy leapt in and started at once. The minutes crept by. **

"**He's late, maybe he's chickened out," Ron whispered. **

"Wouldn't be surprised," said Remus, pursing his lips.

**Then a noise in the next room made them jump. Harry had only just raised his wand when they heard someone speak — and it wasn't Malfoy. **

"**Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner." **

Everyone froze. Hermione continued reading.

**It was Filch speaking to Mrs. Norris. Horror-struck, Harry waved madly at the other three to follow him as quickly as possible; they scurried silently toward the door, away from Filch's voice. Neville's robes had barely whipped round the corner when they heard Filch enter the trophy room. **

"**They're in here somewhere," they heard him mutter, "probably hiding." **

"**This way!" Harry mouthed to the others and, petrified, they began to creep down a long gallery full of suits of armor. They could hear Filch getting nearer. Neville suddenly let out a frightened squeak and broke into a run he tripped, grabbed Ron around the waist, and the pair of them toppled right into a suit of armor. **

**The clanging and crashing were enough to wake the whole castle. **

Sirius ran his hand down his face in exasperation.

"Rule number one in sneaking around: Make _no_ sudden noises!" hissed Remus, sighing.

"**RUN!" Harry yelled, **

The Marauders sighed.

"You _yelled_?" demanded Lily.

Harry shrugged.

**and the four of them sprinted down the gallery, not looking back to see whether Filch was following — they swung around the doorpost and galloped down one corridor then another, Harry in the lead, without any idea where they were or where they were going — they ripped through a tapestry and found themselves in a hidden passageway, hurtled along it and came out near their Charms classroom, which they knew was miles from the trophy room. **

"**I think we've lost him," Harry panted, leaning against the cold wall and wiping his forehead. Neville was bent double, wheezing and spluttering. **

"**I —**_**told **_**— you," Hermione gasped, clutching at the stitch in her chest, "I — told — you." **

"Ah yes. The famous 'I told you so'. I know it well," said Fox, nodding.

"**We've got to get back to Gryffindor tower," said Ron, "quickly as possible." **

"**Malfoy tricked you," Hermione said to Harry. "You realize that, don't you? He was never going to meet you — Filch knew someone was going to be in the trophy room, Malfoy must have tipped him off." **

**Harry thought she was probably right, but he wasn't going to tell her that. **

Hermione looked smug as she continued reading.

"**Let's go." **

**It wasn't going to be that simple. They hadn't gone more than a dozen paces when a doorknob rattled and something came shooting out of a classroom in front of them. **

**It was Peeves. He caught sight of them and gave a squeal of delight. **

"**Shut up, Peeves — please — you'll get us thrown out." **

**Peeves cackled. **

"**Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty." **

"**Not if you don't give us away, Peeves, please." **

"You _begged_?" gaped Ginny.

"**Should tell Filch, I should," said Peeves in a saintly voice, but his eyes glittered wickedly. "It's for your own good, you know." **

"For my own good my granny's wrinkled arse," muttered Ron.

"WHOA, _TMI_!" shouted Fox, jamming her fingers into her ears.

"**Get out of the way," snapped Ron, taking a swipe at Peeves this was a big mistake. **

"**STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves bellowed, "STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR!" **

**Ducking under Peeves, they ran for their lives, right to the end of the corridor where they slammed into a door — and it was locked. **

"**This is it!" Ron moaned, as they pushed helplessly at the door, "We're done for! This is the end!" **

**They could hear footsteps, Filch running as fast as he could toward Peeves's shouts. **

"**Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wand, tapped the lock, and whispered, **

"_**Alohomora!**_**" **

Ron and Harry looked at Hermione and grinned. She grinned back.

**The lock clicked and the door swung open — they piled through it, shut it quickly, and pressed their ears against it, listening. **

"**Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me." **

"**Say 'please.'" **

"**Don't mess with me, Peeves, now **_**where did they go**_**?" **

"**Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice. **

"**All right —**_**please**_**." **

"**NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. **

"Ah, Peeves," said the Marauders fondly.

"**He thinks this door is locked," Harry whispered. "I think we'll be okay — get **_**off**_**, Neville!" For Neville had been tugging on the sleeve of Harry's bathrobe for the last minute. "**_**What**_**?" **

**Harry turned around — and saw, quite clearly, what. For a moment, he was sure he'd walked into a nightmare — this was too much, on top of everything that had happened so far. **

"And so begins the downswing of Harry's luck," sighed Hermione.

Ginny, Harry, and Ron nodded solemnly.

The others looked confused.

Fox just looked at her watch again, watching it tick.

_My time…_

**They weren't in a room, as he had supposed. They were in a corridor. The forbidden corridor on the third floor. And now they knew why it was forbidden. **

The Marauders + Lily leaned forward.

**They were looking straight into the eyes of a monstrous dog, a dog that filled the whole space between ceiling and floor. It had three heads. Three pairs of rolling, mad eyes; three noses, twitching and quivering in their direction; three drooling mouths, saliva hanging in slippery ropes from yellowish fangs. **

"Cerberus?" asked Fox, remembering the Greek myths.

"A Cer-what?" asked Sirius.

Fox merely waved her hand, dismissing the subject. "Let's just read on, shall we, Herms?"

**It was standing quite still, all six eyes staring at them, and Harry knew that the only reason they weren't already dead was that their sudden appearance had taken it by surprise, but it was quickly getting over that, there was no mistaking what those thunderous growls meant. **

**Harry groped for the doorknob — between Filch and death, he'd take Filch. **

"Oh gee," said Ron. "Filch or death? Wonderful choices. I'll take 'or', thanks."

"Illegal choice!" shouted everyone.

Ron pouted.

**They fell backward — Harry slammed the door shut, and they ran, they almost flew, back down the corridor. Filch must have hurried off to look for them somewhere else, because they didn't see him anywhere, but they hardly cared — all they wanted to do was put as much space as possible between them and that monster. They didn't stop running until they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady on the seventh floor. **

"**Where on earth have you all been?" she asked, looking at their bathrobes hanging off their shoulders and their flushed, sweaty faces. **

"We went for a dip in the Lake!" said James cheerfully.

"**Never mind that — pig snout, pig snout," panted Harry, and the portrait swung forward. They scrambled into the common room and collapsed, trembling, into armchairs. **

**It was a while before any of them said anything. Neville, indeed, looked as if he'd never speak again. **

"**What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?" said Ron finally. "If any dog needs exercise, that one does." **

"Sirius," said Remus.

Sirius grinned.

**Hermione had got both her breath and her bad temper back again. "You don't use your eyes, any of you, do you?" she snapped. "Didn't you see what it was standing on?" **

"**The floor?" Harry suggested. "I wasn't looking at its feet, I was too busy with its heads." **

"Stupid question, Hermione," said James.

"**No, **_**not **_**the floor. It was standing on a trapdoor. It's obviously guarding something." **

"Oh," he said.

Hermione smiled smugly.

**She stood up, glaring at them. **

"**I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed — or worse, expelled. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed." **

Lily nodded.

"Expelled from HOGWARTS? And go back to algebra? No thank you, please!" gasped Fox.

Lily and Hermione just stared at her.

"Algebra's fun, though!" defended Hermione.

Now it was Fox's turn to stare.

Hermione merely shook her head and continued to read.

**Ron stared after her, his mouth open. **

"**No, we don't mind," he said. "You'd think we dragged her along, wouldn't you." **

**But Hermione had given Harry something else to think about as he climbed back into bed. The dog was guarding something…What had Hagrid said? Gringotts was the safest place in the world for something you wanted to hide — except perhaps Hogwarts. **

**It looked as though Harry had found out where the grubby little package from vault seven hundred and thirteen was.**

"… oh!" said Remus, remembering.

"Oh," said Sirius and James.

Lily's face shone… then darkened.

"Now… don't you tell me that you went and…!" she said, trailing off dangerously.

"LET'S READ THE NEXT CHAPTER, SHALL WE?" said Fox loudly.

Everyone nodded.

|***|

**Fox: I'M !!! :D**

**Harry: Finally.**

**Hermione: I'm going to my trailer. Call me when I'm needed back on set, kay?**

**Fox: Right then. Thoughts, anyone?**

**Sirius: I want food.**

**Ron: I concur!**

**Lily/Remus: YOU ALWAYS DO! =3=**

**James: I'm going to go play a game of Quidditch. Wanna join me, Harry?**

**Harry: Coming, Dad.**

**Fox: And so ends this chapter! See you all next time!**


End file.
